Encore!
by babyblue2895
Summary: After a hard days work, Ray and Neela frequent the local karaoke bar, but the repercussions from this leads to events they never expected.
1. That's What Friends Are For

Title: Encore!

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the music. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Ok so I've had this idea floating in my head for several months now. I have a few ideas for this story, but I haven't really decided how to connect the dots just yet. I promise it will be a lot different than my last fic. Hope you like it and please review!

Summary: After a hard days work, Ray and Neela frequent the local karaoke bar, but the repercussions from this leads to events they never expected. No Katey, Gates, Michael, and best of all……NO BRENNER!!! Just our dear, dear roomies!!

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"No. Ray, I'm not singing that." she said to him through gritted teeth

"Aww, come on, roomie." he said as he gave her that puppy dog pout he always used to get girls to do whatever he wanted

"That expression isn't going to work on me. I'm not one of your groupies that will just fall at your feet."

"Please?"

She leaned forward slightly and gave him a small smile then said "No".

The smile on Ray's face faded somewhat "I'll do the dishes for a week." She still wasn't budging. "I'll do all the laundry for a month."

"No! My clothes have bleach stains from the last time you did the laundry."

He was starting to get a little frustrated. He could usually talk any girl into anything. Use his charm and his wit, do some flirting and get his way, but not with Neela. She really made him work hard if he wanted her to do something for him. "It's my turn to choose, isn't it?"

"So pick another song, _any_ song but that one. Why do you always choose this bloody song?" It wasn't like it was the one and only song he ever picked but it was enough to aggravate Neela.

Then suddenly it hit him, "I'll do your shift tomorrow."

She raised her eyebrows at him and her eyes lit up as the angry expression on her face began to fade away "Ok" and as soon as she said it he had the biggest smile on his face. He practically ran up to the DJ with the piece of paper in his hand and gave it to him. He walked back over to her and stood next to her.

Suddenly the DJ came on the microphone "Hey, this next song is going to be done by our friends Ray and Neela!"

They walked up to the stage as the crowd applauded for them. It's true, their performances were definitely crowd pleasers. Not because they were good singers but because they were energetic and funny. They had to be. The kind of place they worked in wasn't exactly relaxing. They had to unwind and have some fun and be silly to keep their sanity.

They stepped onto the stage and each got their own microphone while the song started and the crowd cheered loudly. He smirked at her and said "See. Our fans love this song."

She rolled her eyes "Let's just get this over with."

_In my life there's been heartache and pain_

_I don't know if I can face it again_

_I can't stop now, I've traveled so far_

_To change this lonely life_

_I wanna know what love is_

_I want you to show me_

_I want to feel what love is_

_I know you can show me_

_I'm gonna take a little time_

_A little time to look around me_

_I've got nowhere left to hide_

_It looks like love has finally found me_

She never really liked the song in the first place and she hated whenever he begged her to sing it with him but even though she hated to admit it, she always had fun singing with him. They always got into the songs, dancing and joking around onstage. They laughed whenever they were up there, so much so that it was hard for them to do the song sometimes. Neela almost died when Ray pretended to fall on his knees singing to her during one of the choruses.

After they were finished singing, they stayed a couple more hours and eventually decided to call it a night. As they were grabbing their coats, she said "Well I guess I'll be sleeping in tomorrow" with a big smile on her face.

He smiled but then reality set in. He suddenly remembered the promise he had made to her earlier that evening. The smile left from his face. "Um…I probably should have asked you this earlier, but exactly what time is your shift?"

She turned around to face him and trying to hold back her laughter she looked him in the eye and gave him that same puppy dog face he had given her earlier "5".

"5?! Please tell me you don't mean 5 in the morning."

She couldn't control her laugh anymore "That's exactly what I mean."

"Why didn't you tell me that earlier?" he said with eyes huge

"You didn't ask." she smiled at him sweetly

"Don't you think that's the kind of thing you should tell someone even though they don't ask? Roomie, it's midnight. Your shift starts in 5 hours and my shift starts at 4pm. I'm going to have to do my shift right after your shift on just 4 hours sleep." He started to give her that pout again

She laughed again "You know that's not going to work on me." She continued her path to the door and he followed "We're doctor's, sleep deprivation goes with the territory. Besides, maybe this will teach you not to make promises before you have all the facts."

He just shook his head. Why couldn't he ever crack her? "Then I guess we should hurry home so I can get some sleep." She burst out laughing.

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A/N: Hope you liked this first chapter. It's weird how sometimes when you start a story and you're not sure where to take it and then when you start you just let it take you where it wants to go. Not sure that makes sense.

If you have any suggestions on what you would like in this story then I'm all ears!


	2. I Want to be Your Underwear

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I don't own ER, the movies, or any of the music. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews!! Keep them coming! And starryjen, I know exactly what you mean it's like the story almost writes itself sometimes.

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Neela relaxed around the house. It wasn't very often she actually got a day off. She was supposed to get one every week but she hadn't had one for a couple months. Being on call meant more money, which was good, but it also meant she rarely got a day off, which sucked. To be honest, the only fun she ever had was when she went out with Ray.

It was kind of weird considering she didn't even really like him all that much when she first met him. He was a womanizer and a manipulator and always seemed like he would rather play guitar instead of be a doctor. She was surprised when he had asked her to move in with him, she actually thought he was joking at first. She must have wanted a place to stay really badly to move in with someone she didn't really like. Actually he wasn't as bad as she thought he was. Living with him wasn't always easy but he did care about people.

What helped her change her mind about him was when she treated the little boy with a concussion. Ray helped make sure that they had a proper home, he made phone calls until he found a home that would take all 3 of the kids so they wouldn't be separated. After that, she realized that maybe he wasn't so bad. They got even closer when she heard from one of the nurses that Ray stayed up all night with a newborn baby. They had been close friends ever since.

The idea to go to a karaoke bar was Ray's. He didn't think Neela would be able to relax and have a night out. He was convinced that she never did anything fun. Well, except maybe read or watch TV. So he asked her to go out and do something with him. She said no of course. At least, at first. Part of Ray's life was music and he wanted her to see that side of him, too. She went with him but she told him that she refused to sing, but when the DJ announced both of their names from the stage, she couldn't back down. After giving him a dirty look, she slowly made her way up to the stage. She was really nervous but Ray helped, and hearing the audience cheering for them was even better. By the end of the song, she was hooked. She didn't want to admit it then but she loved karaoke, and what's better than getting to sing and have fun with your best friend? But that doesn't mean that Neela didn't let Ray have it when they got home.

For most of the day, Neela sat in front of the TV watching chick flicks that she knows Ray would never watch with her and would even tease her about. She still hasn't lived down the time when he caught her watching _The Notebook_. She'd hate to think about what he would say if he found out she loved to watch _Clueless_. After she finished watching _Sleepless in Seattle_, it was about 1 in the morning. She didn't have the place all to herself that often so when she did, she made sure to make the most of it. She could have peace and quiet for a change and sole possession of the remote control, which when you live with someone is very important if and when you can get it. After the movie, she decided to take a shower and go to bed.

Ray made his way up to the apartment and opened the door. He was so exhausted and could barely stand up until he looked up and saw Neela coming out of the bathroom in her bra. She had just finished taking a shower when he got home. He just stood there in shock while Neela screamed and said "Oh my god!" while she placed her arms over her chest and practically ran into her bedroom. It wasn't like Ray hadn't seen a girl without her shirt on before but none of them were nearly as beautiful as her. After slipping on a t-shirt, she came back out and walked up to Ray, who was still standing in the same spot, slightly in shock.

"I didn't hear you come in." she said to him with her cheeks all red. He didn't respond to her. "I'm sorry about that. I forgot to take a shirt in with me and I didn't know you were home." He just stared at her, not just stared but it was more like he was ogling her. She had seen that expression on his face before, just not to her. It was always to all his certain lady friends that he would bring over, but even now it was still a little different. His face had a certain yearning in it that she had never seen before. "How was work?" he still didn't respond to her, and that was when she realized that not only was he not listening to a word she was saying, but he also wasn't looking at her face. "Ray?" she asked him but still nothing. "Hello?" he was still staring and Neela was starting to get really pissed off. "Ray!" she shouted while punching him in the shoulder.

"Ow!" he said while rubbing his shoulder "What was that for?" he asked confused

Now she was even madder, he didn't even realize what he was doing "Ray, if you don't stop staring at my chest, you're going right back to the ER tonight, this time as a patient! Everyone will know you got beaten up by a girl!"

"Sorry." he gave her the pout, he knew it never worked but you couldn't blame a guy for trying. He had to this time. If everyone at County found out he was beaten up by Neela, he would never be able to step foot in there again.

She looked at the exhaustion etched all over his face and then joked "So, you want to go to _Curtain Call_ tonight?" she chuckled.

He fake laughed "Ha, ha, very funny. Always the comedian. You were the one that did this to me in the first place, remember?"

"No, you did it to yourself. I didn't ask you to take my shift, that was your idea. It's not my fault you love your song so much" He didn't respond, and had the same look on his face as before. "Ray?" still nothing. "Ray!"

He was forced out of his reverie "Huh?" he was still half daydreaming

"What did I just say?" she said while looking at him out of the corner of her eye

"You were talking?" he was dead serious

She wanted to hit him again "You're staring at my chest again. Those aren't my face."

"No, I wasn't. I was listening intitly." her mouth dropped and she shot him an evil glare. He was just as shocked as Neela was after he said it. "Intently! Sorry." he said quickly. She still had the same expression on her face. "Hey, give me a break, roomie. I'm a guy. I just saw you in your bra. Are you telling me that if I came out in my boxers or in a towel that you wouldn't do the same thing?" He asked her seriously, already knowing the answer.

Great. Now he was flirting with her which was starting to annoy her. At the same time, the thought of Ray in his boxers made her start to blush again. She tried her best not to think of him in a towel with small beads of water all over his chest "No. If you hadn't noticed, it's really rude." she mumbled, trying not to look him in the eye. She knew that if she looked at him he would know immediately that she was lying, and she would never hear the end of it.

"It's not rude, it's human nature. You have to look." he gave her that flirtatious look again, this time with more passion than before.

"You don't _have _to, guys just use that as an excuse."

"Trust me, Neela. If a girl looks anything even remotely close to you, you have to look."

Of course Ray had lines but Neela could tell that, that was genuine. She couldn't help but smile. How could a girl not love a sweet compliment like that? Suddenly she noticed that he was standing very close to her. Sometime in their conversation he had moved closer to her without her noticing. He would just have to move in a few more inches to kiss her. She had to get away now while she still had the ability to think clearly. She looked him in the eyes, smiled and said "Thank you." then backed away "I'm tired. I'm going to bed." she started walking towards her room.

He raised an eyebrow and put on a slight smirk "Is that an invitation?" he said in a sexy voice.

She turned around quickly and gave him a look of warning "Absolutely not! Just because a girl thanks you for a compliment you think that means she wants to sleep with you?"

"Well, yeah, if I'm hitting on her."

She gave him a look like he was out of his mind. "Sometimes when a girl says 'Thank you', she just means 'Thank you' and not that she wants you to shag her." He started to look really confused. He wasn't used to women rejecting him. Not that it didn't happen, he just wasn't used to it. "Goodnight." she turned back around and continued walking to her room.

"Goodnight." He said disappointedly

After what just happened she made sure to lock the door, she didn't trust him not to come into her room. She sat at the end of her bed. Ray went into his room, too. After that, sleep wasn't going to come easy. How come she never fell for his charms? Maybe it was because she lived with him. She did know him better than anyone else. She wasn't going to fall for his flirting or that Barnett manipulation. Neela didn't put up with crap from anyone, he was going to have to be real and genuine. That was why she reacted the way she did to the compliment he gave her. He hadn't thought about her this way before, let alone flirt with her. She rejected him, yelled at him, and punched him even but, he had still never felt this way about anyone.

Neela, on the other hand, was really scared. Ray was her best friend and if they started getting feelings for each other then it would make things so complicated and make living together really difficult and uncomfortable.

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A/N: I promise I'm going somewhere with this but I'm just trying to build on it gradually. I don't know how long this story is going to be exactly because I still have so much more ground to cover. So please keep reading because I promise it will get better. Also, this was my first attempt at trying to be descriptive and kind of draw things out so I hope I didn't bore you.


	3. With or Without You

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I don't own ER, or any of the music. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews!!

I've been working on my video so much that I started missing writing my fic. So here's another chapter!

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_Oh Mickey, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey_

_Oh Mickey, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey_

Neela faced Ray and sang to him while he tried not to laugh. Then he sang along with her.

_Oh Mickey, what a pity you don't understand_

_You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand_

He immediately took this as an opportunity to grab her hand, knowing that she wouldn't smack him if it was for show. He took it as a good sign when she didn't shoot him a glare. She even played into it and used her other hand and placed the back of it on her forehead and sighed, then pretended to lose her balance. The audience, even Ray, started laughing. She faced him again and started dancing.

_Oh Mickey, you're so pretty, can't you understand_

_It's guys like you Mickey_

_Oh, what you do Mickey, do Mickey_

_Don't break my heart, Mickey_

Right after the song was over, they started laughing and gave each other a hug. They didn't talk about what happened the other night. Ray assumed by the way she acted that she wanted to just be friends, and Neela was too scared to even bring it up. They got back to their apartment around 11. They walked in the door and slipped off their shoes. Each of them said goodnight and went into their own bedrooms. They were exhausted.

As Ray was changing his clothes, he thought of her. His mind went over and over it in his head while he laid in bed. Was she flirting with him up there? She was the one who was facing him the entire time she sang. She didn't pull her hand away from him when he held it. She didn't even give him a look for it. She was ok with it. Was there something there that she was trying to hide? Maybe it was all in his imagination. After all, she did get upset with him the other night for staring at her the way he did. Then again, it was kind of rude now that he thought about it, but still. She was putting on a show for the crowd. It was definitely all in his imagination. Neela didn't think about him that way. He was just a friend. Nothing more. He had come to his senses and realized that he was just reading too much into the situation and finally drifted off to sleep.

Neela changed into her pajamas. When Ray touched her hand onstage it felt like bolts were surging through her arm. Was she even pretending? Ray was her friend. Her best friend. Of course she had Abby, but she still didn't know her as well as Ray did. He was her roommate, it's only natural. She got into bed and pulled the covers over her body. When a guy and girl live together their bound to get feelings for each other. If she hadn't moved in, he wouldn't have even thought of her that way. It was definitely because they were living together. He flirts with anything even remotely female. She even heard of him flirting with Weaver when he first came to County. He wasn't getting feelings for her, he was just a flirt. She finally came to her senses and went to sleep.

A few hours later, Ray woke up. He decided to go into the kitchen and get something to eat. His eyes were still blurry from being asleep, so he decided to make his way in the dark. He didn't want to have to adjust to the light, too. He opened his door, and slowly and quietly made his way into the kitchen until he bumped into another body on his way to the fridge. He jumped back and could hear someone else scream the same moment that he did. He went and turned on the light.

"Neela?" he asked as his eyes were adjusting to the light

"Who else would it be?" she said in a tone that she used when she thought he was being a complete idiot

"What were you doing walking around in the dark?" he was still half asleep and wasn't entirely sure what was going on

She laughed at him "Me? _You _ran into _me_, remember? I'll be lucky if I can still walk tomorrow, I think your big foot might have broken my toe."

"Sorry." he said and made his way to the fridge "I got hungry."

"Me, too. I just finished and was on my way back to bed."

Weird. They both got up for the same reason. They had been living together for too long. "I'm starting to rub off on you. You know that don't you?" he grinned at her

She got a scared look on her face "Please don't say that. It's the middle of the night so you're trying to scare me, right?"

"Hey, what's so wrong with being like me?"

"Nothing, if you're into the whole obnoxious-sloppy-smelly thing."

He placed a hand over his chest and pretended to have a hurt look on his face "Ouch. Well, I say you being a little more like me is good for you. Can't be any worse."

She raised her eyebrows and started making her way towards him "What is that supposed to mean?" she said from behind him.

He was now searching through the cupboards. He wanted something simple and fast so he could go back to bed. He turned around "I was the one who got you to get out of the house in the first place and have some fun, remember? Before that, you were…well…" he couldn't seem to find the right word.

She shot him a look. He was on thin ice. "Yes?"

He turned his head "Boring." he laughed

"I was not!" she knew he was slightly teasing, but she was still offended

"All you would ever do was read or watch TV. Face it roomie, I helped you."

"You nagged me until I said 'Yes', how was that helping me?"

"It got you out of the house." He kept looking through the cupboards but still couldn't find what he was looking for. "Have you seen my pop-tarts? I thought I left them in here."

She got a blank expression on her face "Uh, yeah. I saw them."

"Where?"

"They were in that cupboard right behind you." she said nonchalantly

"Oh" he said quickly and started reaching for it until he noticed her choice of words. He turned back around " '_Were_'? Did you eat my pop-tarts?"

"No. It hurts that you would even think such a thing" she smiled

"You ate my pop-tarts."

She took a step towards him and placed a hand on his arm "But Ray…I did it to _help _you." she said sincerely

"You did it before I said that to you."

"Well, that's what you get for calling me boring." She poked him

He grabbed her finger "And I'm the obnoxious one?" then said "I'm going to give you a head start."

She took off running toward her bedroom. Ray followed her a few seconds later. When he got into her room, he charged toward her. She continued running and both of them were on either side of her bed. She attempted to run quickly past the other side. Ray was right next to her and she panicked, she tried to run faster but she should have paid more attention to her feet because she tripped on one of her shoes that had been right in front of her bed. She stumbled forwards and wrapped her arms around him. Ray caught her but couldn't steady her so they fell back onto Neela's bed. They both landed roughly onto it, knocking the wind out of them. Both of them were laughing at first until they realized their current situation and proximity. The smiles on their faces faded. The both of them staring at each other, not entirely sure what to do, but also, neither one wanting to move either. They were wide awake now. She could feel Ray holding onto her tightly. They were still breathing quickly on account of their running.

She stared into his eyes, there was a little brown in them, she never noticed that before. This was definitely the closest she had ever been to him. The warmth of his body caused hers to warm up, too. His hard toned chest felt so good underneath her. She could also feel his heartbeat going about a thousand times a minute.

Ray looked at every inch of her face. He had been wanting this so badly for a while now. He couldn't help but watch her. It might have just been in his imagination again or the fact that he had feelings for her, but he couldn't help but think that she looked even more beautiful up close. It was crazy how amazing she looked when she was laying above him. Her body pressed up against him, her breath tickling his neck.

Then Ray realized that she had made no attempt to move. She was just staring at him. Was she in shock? Did she want more? If she didn't want more than she would have gotten off of him already. His eyes traveled down to stare at her mouth. He slowly and uncertainly started moving his head upwards to kiss her. Closer and closer and he was really surprised when she didn't try to stop him, but the moment was broken by the sound of Neela's pager going off. They both turned their heads to see it on the nightstand. She quickly got up, walked over and picked it up. "I have to go in to work." Still trying to get over what just happened, he got up and made his way back into his room.

This was exactly what Neela was afraid of. They were starting to get feelings for each other. What was she going to do? She didn't want things to change between them. Ray did this with all the girls, why should she be any different? But the fact of the matter was, their situation _was _different. She knew him better than anyone. He cared about her, but maybe it would be better for them to just stay friends. How could she get all worked up about…RAY? The guy who left his dirty laundry all over the floor. The one who left trash in the bathroom and shaving cream in the sink. The one who was constantly leaving the cap off the toothpaste. Who brought all his rocker friends home to sleep on the couch. He drove her crazy. Why was she getting all upset over it? There was no way it could work. They would probably kill each other. Her more likely than him, anyway.

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A/N: Please review!

I wrote down all the ideas that I have for this, and trust me, this fic is far from over. There's going to be nine more chapters, at _least_. So keep reading because there's a lot more story left!


	4. Kiss

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I don't own ER, or any of the music. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews!!

Thanks Historianic! The karaoke is in here for a reason, trust me. On a side note, about Neela, I don't want to give away anything. All I can tell you is to keep reading.

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Ray and Neela walked into the club. Before the karaoke, it was just a regular club. Music and dancing, people drinking. She started to make her way over to the bar to order her usual Frozen Margarita, while Ray went to go give the song that he and Neela were going to sing to the DJ. After that, he made his way over to her. She was still at the bar and he placed his hand gently on the back of her shoulder to get her attention. She turned around.

"Want to dance?" he held his hand out to her. She smiled and then let him lead her onto the dance floor. He wrapped his arms around her. She was finally in his arms. He was a little closer than she would have liked him to have been, but the feeling of being in his arms felt too good for her to tell him to pull away from her, even a little bit.

"This is a side of you I've never seen." she said when Ray started moving along the dance floor. They looked more like they were gliding across the floor than actually dancing.

"When you're in a band, you have to know how to dance." She gave him a questioning look. "What?" he said.

"Nothing. It's just…I don't know…you're a doctor but you're also a musician…it's like you're two completely different people."

He nodded "I just like to try different things."

"You're a good doctor. Where did the Van Halen persona come from?" His face dropped. She immediately felt bad for asking him that. She didn't mean it the way it sounded. She also thought it was a little weird because she's said worse to him before and he didn't get offended. She wasn't trying to insult him, she just wanted to know. It was strange that he had this alternate life, doctor by day, and musician by night. She had always wanted to know why. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I was just--"

"It's ok." He cut her off "I know what you meant. It's not something I usually talk about." he admitted. She hadn't hurt him, he just wasn't expecting her to ask him that.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." she wanted to kick herself for doing this to him.

"No. I'm fine." he took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. He said in almost a whisper "When I was 9, my dad started using. Cocaine, marijuana, heroine, you name it." he was now looking down, looking very sad and even pained "He started to change into someone else. One day, he just…" he took so long to say it that she started to wonder if he was even going to "didn't come back."

She looked at him with so much feeling and pain. She felt so bad for him. "Ray…" she whispered

"Please don't pity me. I don't want your pity, I'm just trying to tell you." She placed her hand on his cheek, then gave him a sweet and caring smile. "The day he left, I found the guitar he gave me for my birthday. I hadn't really used it that much before then, but I picked it up and I started playing. I forgot about the abandonment and the hurt just for a little while. I was going through so much and when I played the guitar, it helped me escape from that." she could tell he was trying to hold back the tears. He didn't want to cry in front of her. He didn't want her to feel sorry for him, but how could she not? "I couldn't stop feeling responsible for what happened."

After he said the last part, she completely froze there in his arms for a couple seconds, she was in shock. Finally, she said "Ray, your dad leaving was not your fault." it was the first thing that she had ever told him honestly and out of pure compassion.

He finally looked at her again "It had to have been. If I had been better, then my parents wouldn't have argued over me. I pushed him over the edge."

She couldn't stand to hear him talking like this. She grabbed his hand and held onto it tightly "Listen to me. Your dad didn't leave because of you. People have problems with their kids every day and they don't leave. Your dad leaving is his fault and no one elses." she looked into his eyes, bold and determined, she wanted him to know that she meant what she was saying to him "You're a good person. You care about me, and have always been there when I need you. It's your dad's loss, not yours."

He leaned forward and embraced her, holding onto her tightly. He had been carrying this around with him his whole life. "Thank you." he said softly into her ear. He held onto her for a minute or so and then pulled back and began swaying to the music again. "I never told anyone, not even my mom" he told her, referring to the guilt he experienced over all those years.

She looked at him surprised "Why did you tell me?" she knew she shouldn't but she couldn't help but ask. When was she ever going to learn to stop asking so many questions?

He let his mouth go into a small smile "Because…it's you." he got a sweet and tender look on his face.

She now had a smile on hers. She was touched. She pulled him closer to her and continued dancing with him. She placed her head on his chest and heard the soft, steady beat of his heart and closed her eyes. They spent the next few minutes just dancing in silence. Enjoying the warmth and gentleness of each other.

She never knew Ray could be so caring and sweet. He was constantly surprising her. Like the time when he stayed up all night with her and watched a whole season of _Dancing With the Stars _that she taped on the DVR because she was so busy, even though he hated that show and had to be at work early the next day. Or when she tried really hard to get tickets for the ballet but couldn't get the time off of work. He pleaded with Weaver until she agreed, knowing how much it meant to Neela to go. Being so sweet, and if it hadn't been for him she wouldn't have been able to go in the first place, naturally she took him with her. He surprised her even more when he actually liked it.

"So, tell me something about you." he finally said. Now that he had just told her something no one else knew, he wanted her to return the favor.

"What do you want to know?"

"Something no one else knows." he told her truthfully

She looked at him and tried to think of something to tell him, then said "I didn't always want to be a doctor."

"What did you want to do?" he asked, genuinely interested

"Promise you won't laugh at me?" she told him seriously

"Promise."

"I wanted to be a chef." He stifled his laugh. He couldn't help it, he got the mental image of her in the kitchen. He still remembered the time when she tried to make toast and practically burned the apartment down. I mean, it was just toast for crying out loud. If she had become a chef, then she probably would have been on the news for accidental arson. "You're laughing at me."

"No, I wasn't." he lied "Good thing you didn't opt for the white hat." He blurted out and she gave him a dirty look. "Um…because you know, you're…such a good doctor and all…and it wouldn't be the same without you." she continued to look at him "Sorry."

The look on her face suddenly went away. She could never stay mad at him for too long. "When I moved in with you, it worked out perfectly. You cook, and I eat."

He chuckled "So you're saying that living with me is perfect?"

"I don't know about perfect, but it has it's moments."

He wasn't expecting that answer. He started to get that yearning look on his face again, like he had a few weeks ago. "When?"

"When you put a blanket over me after I fall asleep on the couch, or when you go to the store and come back with a pint of Rocky Road for me when I didn't ask you to." she smiled at him. Ray was loud, sloppy, and annoying sometimes, but he did think of her. Yes, there were times when he would drive her up the wall, but she did like living with him. She pulled him a little closer to her "I like having you as my roommate."

He looked in her eyes and he knew that she meant it. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to be closer. All he could think about at that moment was kissing her. He slowly started to inch his way to her face. He had thought about this moment so many times. Neela didn't know what to do, she wasn't expecting him to react that way. He wrapped his arms more tightly around her and kept moving his way closer to her lips. She just stood there, watching him inch his way to her face. For some reason, she couldn't move. She knew it was wrong and her mind kept telling her to stop this right now, but she was rooted to her one spot in the floor. Maybe it was Ray's hold on her, maybe it was the fact that people were around, or maybe she secretly wanted it just as bad as he did. She didn't know. He was now getting so close that she could almost feel his lips on hers. She could feel his breath on her face, his breathing had considerably quickened. Just when their lips were going to touch…

"Hey, everyone, this first song is going to be done by, you guessed it…Ray and Neela!"

They opened their eyes and stared at each other for a couple seconds before making their way up to the stage. They hadn't even noticed the music had stopped. They each took a breath, still reeling from the overwhelming desire they just experienced.

_You don't need to be beautiful to turn me on_

Ray had forgotten he had picked this song. God, why had he picked _this_ song? It took them a while to get into it but the crowd cheered for them, whistling and clapping.

_I want to be your fantasy, maybe you could be mine_

_You just leave it all up to me, we could have a good time_

They were finally getting into their usual routine up there. Joking around and dancing onstage, and both tried their best not to think about before.

_You don't have to be rich to be my girl_

_You don't have to be cool to rule my world_

_Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with_

_I just want your extra time and your…kiss_

Ray and Neela turned to each other just before the last word, making kissing sounds at each other and fake kissing the air over and over. The audience laughed. Right after the song ended, the crowd cheered loudly. They just looked at each other. That didn't help them take their mind off of what just happened between them. They still hadn't gotten off the stage yet which was starting to get a little awkward. The DJ tapped Ray on the shoulder. "Um, you guys can leave now." They both slowly made their way off the stage.

Ray wasn't sure what was going on with them. Were they friends? Were they something more? Friends wasn't exactly enough to describe them, but they weren't dating. What were they? Of course he wanted more, he had known that for some time. They had had not just one, but two attempted kisses, but it didn't necessarily mean they were something more. Both times, he was the one who leaned in, not her. He was the one that wanted it. She didn't push him away or try to stop it, that's true, but that doesn't necessarily mean she wanted to be with him either. He still wasn't entirely sure how she felt exactly. Did she want it too, or was she just allowing him to do it?

As they were walking to the car, Ray noticed that it was colder than when they went in. Neela was just wearing a thin party dress. "Are you cold?" he asked

"No. I'm fine." she said with her arms folded and shivering. He knew she was lying. Ray knew her better than that. He took off his coat and gently placed it on her shoulders. She put her arms through and pulled her hair out of the collar. She could still smell his scent lingering on it and tried her best not to pay any attention to it "Thanks." He knew that she didn't want to be any trouble but, he didn't like to see her in any kind of misery even if meant he would have to experience some himself. As long as he didn't have to see her like that, it was worth it. He didn't care what it was. When she looked at him, she felt bad for having his coat, it wasn't exactly warm outside. "What about you?"

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine." He still had his arms on her shoulders from when he had put his jacket around her, not able to move them quite yet. From the look on his face, she was so sure that he was going to kiss her. He wanted to sweep her into his arms right then and there and crash his lips onto hers. Kissing her the way he's been wanting to kiss her for some time now, but two attempted tries can really mess up a guys confidence. He turned and started making his way to the van. The moment had passed.

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A/N: This chapter was a little harder to write, but I hope you liked it! Please review!


	5. Underneath It All

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I don't own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Again, thank you so much for the reviews!! And Historianic, thank you! I don't _ever_ get tired of you telling me how much you like my story. So keep it coming, because I love getting reviews!

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The next day, Neela got off before Ray did. She went home and started watching TV. She sat there watching some of her shows that she had recorded.

After a while, she glanced at her watch. Ray was supposed to be home two hours ago. He probably got hung up at the hospital, but a part of her was still a little worried. She called his phone but he didn't answer. If he's with a patient then he can't just answer his phone, it's pretty unprofessional. He was fine, nothing to worry about, but usually he's home by now. He must have picked up some skanky nurse from the hospital, that sounds like Ray. She shook her head. That had to be it. Then, she heard Ray coming in through the front door. She was a little surprised when she glanced over and saw him coming in alone.

"Hey" he said, then made his way over to the couch and sat down

"Hey. I'm glad you're home. I was starting to get worried."

He looked at her. He liked the fact that she cared enough to worry about him, even though what she said made her sound like they were married. "You were?"

"Of course, you're my friend. I care about you."

He smiled at her sweetly but also looked like he had just been punched in the face. He was having mixed feelings. He thought it was sweet that she would worry about him like that, but her calling him her 'friend' made him feel so hurt. Not that he didn't want to be her friend, he was happy they were friends, but hearing that you're just a 'friend' from the woman you want to be with can feel like a slap in the face. He knew that that was all he was ever going to be, _just_ a friend. He felt like she had just told him the best and worst thing she could have told him both at the same time. "I'm sorry I worried you." he shifted his position on the couch. He turned and faced the TV, which made him sit very close to her. All either one of them could think about was how their legs were now touching.

"Did you get stuck at work?" she asked while they started watching TV. She couldn't help but ask, she had been worried.

"No."

"I called you."

"My phone died when I was at the hospital, sorry."

She felt much better now that she knew he wasn't ignoring her. She didn't think he would do that, but it still made her feel better hearing it from him.

"I have a surprise for you." he reached his arm over to the side of the couch and brought out this big, long rectangular box. She looked at it, trying to figure out what it was. He placed it onto her lap. She hadn't even noticed that he was carrying anything with him when he came in, but then again she had just sort of glanced over and then looked away. On the other hand, in her short glance, she somehow noticed he was flying solo "Open it" he said.

After she was done unwrapping it, her mouth dropped. "Ray, how did…? I didn't even notice…What?" her mind was racing so much that she couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence anymore.

He was trying his best not to laugh at her "You don't like it?"

"No, I love it but I just…_how_?"

"I was walking home the other night and I was passing a music store. I went in and saw this on display. I don't know much about viola's but I thought this one was really nice."

She had been learning to play the viola since she was a little girl. Whenever her parents would drive her crazy or when she was going through some teen drama, she would play. It relaxed her. So when Ray had told her about why he started playing guitar, she knew where he was coming from. Maybe not exactly but she got the general idea.

She hadn't been able to play hers because she had broken the chin rest right off. She had it for about 10 years and it was starting to fall apart, obviously it was time for a new one. She couldn't believe it. She thought he was picking up some woman when he was really doing something nice for her. He never stopped surprising her. "This is what took you so long tonight, isn't it?" He nodded. "But this must have cost you at least $600, how could you afford it?"

"The owner and I worked something out. We traded."

"What did you trade?"

"My Fender."

"You traded your guitar to give me a viola?" He didn't say anything, he just gave her a look of affection. She hated herself for it but she couldn't help but feel guilty "I can't accept this."

"Why?"

"Because you loved that guitar. Please take this and get it back."

"I can't. The guy said that all sales are final. Looks like you're stuck with it."

She looked down at this new beautiful instrument that Ray had just given her. The second she saw it, she immediately fell in love with it. It was a golden brown color. It was so beautiful, which wasn't making this any easier. She wanted it, but she felt so bad for taking it knowing what he did for her.

Sensing this, Ray said "It's ok. You don't have to feel guilty. I just wanted to do something nice for you. Please take it, it would really mean a lot to me." he said, practically begging her to accept it from him. He knew how badly she wanted it but Neela was the kind of person who was always trying to do what was best for other people instead of herself. That's what being a doctor is all about, doing what's best for someone else. Maybe it wasn't always good for her because usually she did what was best for someone else and not what she really wanted to do and what was best for her.

She let her mouth slowly go into a soft smile. She leaned forward and placed her lips to his cheek and then gave him a hug. "Thank you" she whispered into his ear.

"You're welcome, roomie." he said while gently massaging her back. She pulled back and admired her viola one last time before placing it carefully back into the box. She inched her way closer to him on the couch. There was now no space between them.

"What I don't understand is that they put a bunch of hair on a stick and run it along some strings and then get music somehow. It's pretty cool, but how does that work?" he said, which made both of them laugh.

Neela couldn't believe what the feeling of Ray next to her was doing to her, it took all her self control not to grope him right then and there. She had her doubts of course, but she also couldn't help the way she was feeling either. How would it work? They haven't even been able to kiss each other yet. It's like something was keeping them apart. Maybe they just weren't meant to be together. She wanted him so badly that it hurt. She wanted him to touch her, to know what it would feel like to have his arms around her, wanted his lips all over her body. They weren't even having any skin on skin contact but it was doing so much to her. She couldn't even imagine what it would feel like if he was actually touching her skin. He smelled so good. Whatever he was wearing, she thought that it was made just for the sole reason of turning her on. No, he's her friend, it would never work. He drives her crazy. He was definitely driving her to the point of insanity right now that was for sure.

"You hungry?" he broke her thoughts

"What?" she tried not to look at him.

He thought she was acting a little weird. Why wouldn't she look at him? "You want something to eat?"

It took a little while for it to register what he just said "Oh. Ok, that's fine."

He stared at her for a couple seconds which wasn't helping her with her little situation right now and then went into the kitchen. He came back out a few minutes later with some chips and beer. She started eating her chips hoping it would take her mind off of him.

She was being way too quiet for him and it was starting to make him a little uncomfortable. Usually she talks and talks, and most of the time he has no idea what she's talking about. Something had to be wrong. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Why?" she still couldn't look at him

"You're just really quiet. Did something happen at work?"

"No." hearing his voice seemed to only make it worse. She loved his voice. She always thought that was one of the best things about him. She didn't want to say much to him because she didn't want to let anything come out of her mouth by accident, like how she wanted to jump onto his lap and do very unroomie-like things to him. Not only that, but maybe the less she said then the less he would say, too, so she wouldn't have to hear his voice right now. At least she hoped. She wanted to hear his voice, yes, but at the same time she didn't want to just as much.

Now he was worried. If it wasn't work then it had to have been him. What did he do? Was she upset with him about the gift? "Is it me?" he was almost afraid to ask.

She was hoping that he wouldn't ask that. He always knew when something was bothering her, and always knew when she needed to talk but, why now? She would always talk to him about anything but he was the last person she wanted to talk to about this. Of course it was him, but not in the way he thinks. "No" she was only half lying. It was him, yes, but not in that way. He had done nothing wrong.

"Are you sure?"

He knew her too well. She just really needed him to stop asking. Any more questions and she was going to either break or go insane, or both "Yes. I'm fine. Just tired."

He didn't push her any more. He knew Neela, and if he kept asking or tried to push her then she would get really pissed off. It was so hard for him because he knew there was something she wasn't telling him and it was killing him but, he cared about her so much and he wanted to be a good friend. So if she didn't want to talk about it he understood. He didn't like it though, because he wanted to be there for her. If she wanted to tell him then she would, and he would rather she told him by her own choice and not because he dragged it out of her.

After a while, they both were getting really tired and were starting to fall asleep on the couch. Ray looked over and noticed Neela was eating the chips again but, the funny thing was that her eyes were closed now. He started chuckling. "How can you eat with your eyes closed?"

"I'm hungry but I'm too tired to open my eyes. I know where my mouth is." she continued eating the chips.

Since she had her eyes closed he continued to watch her. He thought it was so funny but also very sexy at the same time. It was probably a little weird that he would find something like this attractive. Was he sick or did he just have it way too bad? He was laughing quietly to himself while he kept watching her but, also couldn't stop staring at her lips. She was right there. This girl he had been thinking and dreaming about. She was so beautiful, but she was forbidden, which only made him want her even more. He had to look away before he did something. He faced forward again and then closed his eyes, trying his best to drift off to sleep with her sitting right next to him. Eventually, sleep finally came for both of them.

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A/N: Sorry that there wasn't much going on in this chapter, but like I already said, I'm building on this gradually. I don't want to rush this story. Keep reading because I promise it will pick up. I know it's a little boring right now but, this chapter and probably the next chapter are going to be sort of build up chapters. After that, I'm going to start getting into where I'm going with this.


	6. Everywhere

Title: Encore!

Rating: This chapter is rated M

Disclaimer: I don't own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews!! Keep them coming, because I love them!

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Neela walked into her room and changed her clothes. She had a long day. She worked on one patient for 6 hours. She didn't think they were going to make it, but at the last minute, they pulled through. It was days like this that made her job worthwhile. This is what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. She turned off the light and made her way to her bed, but stumbled with a loud crash. She felt like she had just broken something. Suddenly, Ray came rushing into her room like the house was on fire. "Are you ok?" he asked. He turned on the light. Neela was laying on the floor in her pajamas.

"I think so" she said. She was a little shaken up.

"What happened?" he said while helping her up off the floor.

"I'm not really sure, I was in the dark. I was trying to get into bed and then I ended up on the floor."

"Are you hurt?" he said while running his eyes over her looking for a cut or some sort of injury. His heart felt like it was twisting in his chest. Just the thought of her being hurt scared him half to death.

"I'm fine, but I think I broke my bed." she giggled softly

They both looked and noticed that her headboard had come off. "We should really stop walking around here in the dark." she agreed "At least you can still sleep in it until you get a new one."

"New one? I don't want a new one. This one is just fine." she said, almost as if she thought he was crazy saying such a thing.

He smiled to himself. This was typical Neela, never wanting to throw anything away, even if it was broken. She was always worried she might need it later, or maybe they could fix it. She would always say it was still good no matter how torn, tattered, or falling apart it was. "Ok, I'll help you fix it in the morning." he started making his way out of her room now that he knew she was ok.

"Where are you going?" she said, slightly irritated. He was not leaving.

He turned back around and had that silly expression on his face that he usually gave her when he was about to say something she should already know "Back to bed" he smiled at her

"Not before helping me fix my bed you're not." she said sternly

"It's late, we can do it in the morning." Was she insane?

"No. Now." being patient was definitely not one of Neela's traits. Whenever she wanted something, or wanted something done, she wanted it done now. She hated to wait and if she had to, it was all she could think about. It was one of the things about her that really drove him crazy. He was more laid back and relaxed, and she was more classy and refined. She wanted things done in a certain way, usually her way. It was one of the biggest differences between them. Of course he loved that fact that she was so classy, but at the same time, it was also a constant reminder that he could never be good enough for her. "You take that side and I'll take this side." Why did they always seem to gravitate to her bed all the time? Was it subconscious? No, that was impossible.

He walked over to the side of the bed and both of them attempted to get the headboard back into place. It had to be slid back into a hole in the side of the bed. Ray slid his side in and tightened the screw back in with his fingers with slight ease. He also had to be somewhat careful. It was so old and falling apart. She had it for a long time, knowing her she probably had it since she was a teenager. She must have been the sentimental type.

Neela was having difficulty with her side and Ray came over to help her. "What is it?" he asked

"I can't get it back in. I'm not strong enough." she tried repeatedly to fix it, but couldn't and was now getting pretty tired.

First her viola, now this. "Either you break everything, or you need to buy new things every few millenia" he joked. Both her things had been very old. It must have been her being so sentimental, she keeps holding onto things even if they're falling apart. Ray had her step aside and attempted to fix it, but he wasn't able to. Alone, at least. "I can't do it by myself" he told her. He stepped back a little and she stood in front of him. He was literally right behind her. There was no space between them again, just like before. He placed his hands next to hers. They froze for a couple seconds and then remembered what they were supposed to be doing. Together, they both worked to get the side of the headboard back into place. Then with a strong shove, they were finally able to fix it. Ray was having a hard time controlling himself, and Neela bending over to twist the screw into place afterward didn't help either. Was she doing this on purpose just to torture him? He was already starting to get excited.

She straightened back up and then noticed that his hands had moved and were now placed on her waist. She was already having a hard enough time as it was with him standing right behind her. What was he doing to her? She wanted to ask him what he was doing, but all she could think about or feel were his hands on her body. She turned her head and looked at him, he was standing dangerously close to her. He had a burning intensity in his eyes and what she saw in them was need and desire. She thought his fixed stare was going to burn a hole right through her skull. No one had ever looked at her this way before. It made her feel very desirable. She watched as he started slowly making his way to her lips. He couldn't stand it anymore. His need to kiss her was starting to get unbearable. The time it was taking for him to kiss her felt like an eternity. He didn't know if she wanted to kiss him, too. He didn't even know if she even had feelings for him in the first place. All he could think about at that moment was how he had to touch her, to kiss her, to taste her. He couldn't help it. Finally, his lips met hers in a very soft and sweet kiss.

The moment his lips met hers, she immediately felt herself go limp. She was powerless under his charms. It was official, she, Neela Rasgotra, had fallen for Ray Barnett. The one thing she said she would never do. She couldn't seem to get enough, she wanted more. She shifted her position so that she was now facing him and wrapped her arms around his waist and held on tightly. He put his tongue in her mouth and she moaned.

Now that she was certain how she felt, she had to tell him while she still had the ability to speak. She had spent so much time in their relationship wasting precious time that she felt that she had to do it now, and that if she didn't do it now that she wouldn't be able to do it later. She mustered up all her strength to gently pull away from his lips. "Ray" she whispered as he placed his forehead against hers. He knew this was a bad idea. Why had he kissed her? Now he had just ruined everything. There was no way they could ever come back from this now and it was all his fault. He looked into her eyes, scared and looking like she had just ripped out his heart already. "I think I'm falling in love with you" she whispered and let her mouth go into a small smile.

He looked at her in shock. He thought she was going to yell at him for kissing her and she surprised him with an admission of love. All this time she had felt the same way that he did. The shock slowly faded away and she could see the happiness come all over his face. He moved his lips to her forehead and placed a gentle kiss there. He smiled and looked at her for a moment before he kissed her again. He wanted to tell her how he felt so badly, but hearing how she felt after not knowing all this time was too much for him to handle, he had to be closer to her. He didn't want to talk right now, all his feelings came bubbling to the surface all at once. He wanted all of her, every single inch of her. He felt her slowly move her hands to his pants. He felt all the air go out of his lungs, she had literally taken his breath away. She unzipped them and gently eased them off of him. After she took them off, he was suddenly everywhere. She could feel him all over her body. His arms, his hands, his lips. His hands moved to her shirt and removed it off of her before scooping her up into his arms and kissing her again.

She tried her best to reciprocate his actions, but it was hard for her to even move at that moment, everything he did was so intense. How was he able to keep going through all of this? She was surprised she was still able to stand up straight. All she had the ability to do was wrap her arms around him and kiss him back, she couldn't muster up the energy to do anything else. How did he have this kind of power over her? He moved his hands down the back of her legs and wrapped them around his waist. They both gasped in passion.

He made his way to the bed and laid her down gently. They stared at each other for a few moments, almost as if they wanted to make sure this was really happening, that they were really here with each other about to make love to one another. She couldn't take it any longer, she put her hands on his shirt and started raising it up over his head. Now, it had to be now, she was done waiting. After she removed his shirt, he pressed his body against hers. Her emotions built up inside of her so much that she had to shut her eyes.

Neela opened her eyes to find Ray laying next to her on the couch. He had his arm wrapped around her while she had her head on his chest. Sometime during the night, they had fallen asleep and laid down next to each other. She watched him as he slept. Her body was wet from the intense dream she just had about him. It felt so real. She could feel him all over her, and feel his lips on hers. He wanted her, she felt it, but it was just a dream. How could it not be real? She could feel the tears start to form in the corners of her eyes and felt a small tear go down the side of her cheek. It wasn't real, and waking up next to him seemed to make it hurt even worse. She placed her head back on his chest, wrapped her arms around him, and shut her eyes tightly. She wanted so much more than this, but it was as much as she was going to get.

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A/N: Please review!!

I've been brainstorming a lot with this story, and now I'm actually going to have more chapters than I said there was going to be. I may decide to have the next chapter be an extra one, and then start getting into where I'm going with this in the chapter after that, which now should be chapter 8. Hope I'm not confusing you. I haven't really decided yet because I'm really enjoying writing this story. It doesn't seem to be cooperating with me, and I have a feeling it's going to end up being really long. It seems to have a mind of it's own.


	7. Thank You

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I don't own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! It really means a lot to me! KG, I'm glad I could brighten up your day. Aww, I was hoping I could fool you guys, you all are just too smart. Hopefully the rest of the story won't be predictable, and I'm hoping there will be a few surprises.

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Ray was in his room going through his laundry. That was the best thing about having a girl roommate, she did his laundry. She even folded it for him; she was a keeper. He was putting his clothes away with a small smile on his face. He did the cooking and she did the laundry. That was fair. He continued putting it away and came across something that wasn't his. It was a red lace g-string. That definitely wasn't his. How did that get in there? For a split second he thought maybe it belonged to one of his girl companions, but then he realized that he hadn't had one for several weeks now. Not since he had gotten feelings for…never mind that. The important thing was that, that wasn't it. If they didn't belong to one of his groupies then it had to be…oh, no.

_Red_? She didn't seem like the type. He couldn't just keep them. She would find out they were missing sooner or later. Maybe she would think they got lost in the dryer. No, that's socks. He could actually picture what they would look like on her body. Hugging her hips, covering her smooth, beautiful cocoa skin. Of course, she could be dressed in rags and he would still think she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and she was. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't keep them.

He made his way to her room. He stopped just outside the door. He felt that it was only appropriate to knock first. They were close, but it was still the polite thing to do. That's right, knock on a girls door before you give her back her underwear, that way you won't seem as sleazy. This was weird. Things had been on the awkward side lately, especially since the other night. She had been acting different around him since then, and he didn't understand why. He knocked but, there was no answer. That's when he started to hear the sound of someone playing music on the other side of the door. Then he realized that she must have been playing the viola he had given her the other night. He had never actually seen her play before. He knocked again, this time a little louder than before. She finally answered the door.

He looked at her, not really sure what to say. He was feeling really weird and uncomfortable. How was he going to say it? He had to give them back but, he didn't want to come off like a pervert. A pervert wouldn't be standing in her doorway trying to give them back, but that still didn't change the fact that this was really strange. "Hey" he said and she said the same. He held up the panties slightly so she could see them "These got in with my things somehow" he said with a slight blush on his cheeks.

She didn't think she had ever seen him blush before, it was kind of cute. She was a little surprised and embarrassed at the same time, and reached out to take them. When she finally grabbed them, her hand was softly touching his. He wasn't letting go of her and started to look in her eyes very seriously. She was wondering what he was thinking about. Sometimes when he looked at her he made her feel so exposed. Like he was seeing her for what she really was, almost like she was standing naked in front of him. He could have been picturing her that way. He seemed like the kind of guy whose mind was always in a dirty place. "Thank you" she said. He finally came out of his dream-like state, let go of her, and cleared his throat nervously. This was just as uncomfortable for him as it was for her.

She turned around, put her panties away in her drawer, and picked her viola back up again. He noticed that she hadn't shut the door. If she wanted to be alone then she would have shut the door in his face, right? He took the invitation and walked in. "You sound amazing." She smiled a little and shook her head. "You do" he reassured her "Will you play for me?" She looked at him and he noticed a part of her seemed a little shy. She hadn't played for an audience in a long time. "Please? I've never seen you play." Neela couldn't turn down someone asking her that sweetly. He was too charming and sweet for her own good sometimes. If it wasn't for him, she wouldn't have the instrument in her hands in the first place, so it was only fair for her to play something for him. It was the least she could do. "Okay" she said.

He sat down at the end of her bed. Their relationship had basically been about her bed and her underwear lately it seemed. It had to have been subconscious, there was no way it was just a coincidence. He did his best not to think about that. "Is there anything you want to hear?" she asked. She couldn't think of anything to play so she was hoping he would. "Play whatever you want." Thanks a lot. He's a big help. He thought it was adorable how nervous she was getting, thinking that he was doing that to her. He kind of liked it. She thought for a second and then decided to just play what she had been playing before he came in. She raised the instrument to her chin and started playing. Ray watched as she glided the bow skillfully across the strings. The only time he had ever seen her this focused was when she was working on a patient but, he didn't think he had ever seen her this at ease before. She looked exactly like how he felt when he played the guitar. She looked so peaceful, and had a calmness on her face.

He wasn't sure what she was playing. He didn't know much about classical music. It was probably Mozart or Beethoven but, whatever it was, he liked it. He couldn't take his eyes off of her while she played masterfully, perfectly, and to him it looked like it was almost easy for her. He hadn't listened to a lot of classical music in his lifetime but, after hearing her play he knew it was the most beautiful music he had ever heard. She was amazing. It was then that he realized that she could do anything. She could be a doctor or a violaist, what else could she do? Everything. It wouldn't surprise him. This was a new beautiful side to her and it only made him fall for her that much more. He could listen to her play forever. After she finished, he sat there applauding her. "If you ever quit medicine, you should become a violaist." She loved that he was taking an interest in something she really cared about. She knew that if it wasn't for her that he wouldn't even care about this kind of music. It proved that he was a great friend. He cared about the things she liked and cared about. He would always be there, always be her friend. She needed that, she needed him. Since he had taken an interest in the things she liked, naturally she started taking an interest in the things he was doing, too.

She smiled at him. She put her viola in the case, walked over to her closet, and pulled out a box. He gave her a suspicious look. What was she doing? She sat next to him on the bed and placed it in-between them. "It's for you" she said. He was a little surprised she had gotten him something. He opened it. His shock was written all over his face. He hadn't even said anything yet and she already knew he liked it. She had bought him a personalized guitar strap with his name on it on one side. The other side had the name of his band, _Skunk Hollow_. It was pure leather and looked expensive. "I wanted to get you something to say thank you for what you did." He was grateful to her but, now he was more confused than ever. This whole time he thought she had been a little upset with him for what he did for her. If she wasn't upset with him about it, then why had she been acting so weird around him since then? "I don't know what to say." Ray had traded just one of his guitars, he had others besides that one. He still had the one his father had given him, along with a couple others, but the one he traded had been his favorite. Unlike Neela, who had broken the only viola she had. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. "Thank you. This means so much to me."

"I'm glad you like it." she held onto him tightly. She pulled him closer and placed her head on his chest. Ray was a little surprised she was holding him so closely but, he wasn't about to complain. In her opinion, her gift was nothing compared to the gift he gave her but, he was acting like it was the greatest thing he had ever gotten from anyone. Maybe it was because he liked the fact that she appreciated his interests. She didn't understand why he wanted to be a famous rock star because she felt he was such a good doctor, and why let that go to waste? No, she didn't understand it, but at the same time, she did show respect for the things he was interested in. If it was interesting to him, then that was good enough for her. There had to be something good about it. She had her eyes closed and slowly breathed in his scent. There was that cologne again, the one that drove her crazy. He wore it all the time, he must know that it drives her insane, why else would he wear it?

He heard her take a slow, deep breath. Did she just smell him? No, it was just in his imagination. He's just imagining things that he wants to be there. He had been having so many fantasies about her lately and now his mind was playing tricks on him. It was just because he was holding her so tight. She probably couldn't breathe. Reluctantly, he released her from his grip. He probably had been holding her too tight. She's small, she can't take being held that way. Ray looked into her eyes, he wasn't really sure what to say again and found himself getting lost in her eyes for the umpteenth time.

It was at this moment that Neela realized that they were both sitting on her bed. They weren't doing anything but, with everything she was feeling and the way Ray was looking at her, she felt like she did before. Exposed. He had to have been seeing her feelings for him. She felt so embarrassed and the next thing out of her mouth did not come out the way she meant it "I guess we should go to bed now" He looked at her surprised, but in a good way, and he couldn't help but look a little happy and curious just the same. She didn't mean it like that, did she? Her face looked just as shocked as his did. Obviously, she couldn't believe what she just said either and she started to get very nervous and a little flustered "Um, I mean, you know, me in here, and you in there." He did his best to hide his disappointment "Of course" he said. He picked up his guitar strap and stood up. They said goodnight and he made his way out of her room. She had her back to him and placed her hand over her face as a blush came to her cheeks. That was very embarrassing.

He started to open her door but, before he walked through, he turned around and said in a very sweet tone "Thanks again for this." She faced him and he held up his strap. She smiled at him sincerely. He shut the door and made his way back to his bedroom. Neela fell back onto her bed, but neither one of them would be able to sleep anytime soon after what just happened.

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A/N: Please review!!

Okay, I know I've been putting this off for a while, but I promise that the next chapter will be where the real story starts. I want to thank everyone who's reading my story. There's still a lot more left. I'm not exactly sure but, in all, this story is going to be over 20 chapters long. That's just an estimate. Could be a little shorter, could be a little longer. Anyways, it all starts in the next chapter, so keep reading! I'm sorry for drawing this out for so long, but it was necessary. I feel better now that this story has a good, solid foundation. At least, I hope! And I can't wait to start getting into the good stuff!!

A big thanks to DocRock and KG for reviewing every chapter!! It always makes my day, thanks so much!!! Please review, and please keep reading! I hope I'm not boring you right now, but just believe me, it will pick up!


	8. Truly, Madly, Deeply

Title: Encore!

Rating: This chapter is rated M

Disclaimer: I do not own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music mentioned. I am not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Much thanks to all who reviewed!! I was so surprised too, because when I wrote it I thought it was bad, and it turned out to be the most reviewed chapter so far lol. So DocRock, KG, starryjen, Historianic, and tiger-tiger27, thanks so much!!! Getting all those reviews really put me in a good mood, and as a thank you, I decided to write this chapter a little earlier than I planned to. Hope you like it!

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A couple days later, they were finally able to go out again. Things had been so crazy at work that this had been the first chance they had to go to the bar in several weeks. They could finally let loose and unwind.

_The Love Shack is a little old place where we can get together_

_Love Shack baby! Love Shack, that's where it's at! Love Shack, That's where it's at!_

Had they been drunk when they picked this song? They thought that maybe they had been, but they weren't drunk right now, so that couldn't be it. Was there such a thing as brief intoxication? It was either that or they were just stupid. They liked the drunk thing better.

_Huggin' and kissin', dancin' and lovin' ,_

_wearin' next to nothing_

_Cause it's hot as an oven_

_The whole shack shimmies!_

Maybe this was another dream. They had been having so many dreams and fantasies about each other that lately it had been difficult to tell the difference between reality and fantasy. They hoped it was a dream because that would make this a lot less awkward.

About an hour later they went home. The club closed earlier than usual because it was the middle of the week. Their first night out in several weeks and now they had to go home early. It was a little disappointing. It was too early for the night to end. They walked inside their apartment.

"What time is it?" Neela asked

He looked at his watch "11:15" he responded.

That late? She wasn't tired at all, even though she had been drinking, but no more than usual. They weren't ready to go to bed yet. "I'm not tired. Are you?"

He told her "No". It had been a while since they had been out and since they both weren't on again until tomorrow afternoon, they could stay up later if they wanted to. They were having a really good time. "What do you want to do?" Things were still a little on the weird side, like they had been lately but, they both hid their feelings with their usual friendly bickering. It helped if they could laugh about it.

She went into the kitchen and came out with a bottle in her hand. He couldn't hold back his laugh "You want to drink." After the day he just had; getting bitten, yelled at by Weaver (the usual), and nearly falling flat on his face on his way to van, who was he to argue with her?

"And you don't?"

"I didn't say that." Of course he'd drink with his roomie. His really, really good-looking roomie, who he also had a slight crush on. What sane guy wouldn't? That was what he always told himself, that it was just a crush and he'd get over it. Perfectly natural to fall for your roommate, especially when they looked like her. Only this _little _crush had been going on for several months now.

"Good." she said as she handed him the bottle of vodka and went into the kitchen to grab a couple other things they would need. Any excuse to spend more time with Ray. She'd been doing that a lot lately. Ever since her dream the other night she had been a little off. Before that, she tried to convince herself she didn't have feelings for him, but now she was positive. She didn't really know how to act around him anymore. She wanted to be with him but, for some reason, she couldn't.

He just stared at her the whole time she was in the kitchen like he couldn't believe it. "What are you getting?" He stood by the kitchen table and watched her as she brought two shot glasses and placed them on the table.

"We're going to play a game." she smiled at him, then went back into the kitchen to get more things. "That is, if you think you can handle it." She knew Ray better than anyone, and she knew that he never backed down from a challenge. Now he was definitely going to drink with her and she knew it. He was drinking with her whether he liked it or not. She hated drinking alone.

That sparked his interest. What kind of game? Obviously a drinking one, but of course there were games he was thinking of and hoping they would play. Maybe this was another one of his 'friendly' fantasies about her. Just the other night he dreamed she ate chocolate syrup off of his body. He liked that better than a silly drinking game. Why didn't she want to play those kind of games? She came back out with salt and several limes. He knew now. She thinks she'll be able to out-drink him. Given how much shorter she was, was it even hard to tell who would be able to drink more than who?

"I haven't played this since I was in college. We ask each other questions, like have you ever done this or have you ever done that, and if the answer is yes, then we have to drink a shot." she didn't know what made her think of the game. Maybe she wanted to learn more about him, more than she already did. Maybe she just wanted to spend some time with him.

"What kind of questions?" he asked, even though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer

"Things you think the other person secretly has done or is doing." she gave him a look and he wasn't entirely sure what it meant. Either she was flirting with him or she was putting her game face on. He could usually read her pretty well but, lately she had been acting so differently around him, even more than she had before. It seemed like a fun game but, a part of him was a little reluctant. There were things he didn't want her to know, not that he had anything to hide, but he didn't trust himself not to blurt out drunken ramblings of love for her. Not only that but, did he want to know her deepest, darkest secrets? He didn't have to ask her anything like that but, he could ask his questions carefully. There were definitely things he wanted to know. "I'm in." he said and sat down. He really needed to learn how to say 'No' to her sometimes.

She did the same and asked "So, who gets to go first?"

"Since this was your idea, I think you should get to ask the first question." How very gentlemanly of him. Not to mention courageous to put himself in the line of fire first like that and all.

"Ok." she already knew what she wanted to ask him. "Have you ever stolen anything?" He looked at her, sighed, and then poured the vodka into the glass and took the shot. Her mouth dropped, even though she wasn't entirely surprised. "What did you steal?"

He bit into the lime, then said "I don't remember that being part of the game." he tried to get out of it.

"Come on, Ray. You have to tell me now" but Neela never let him get out of anything. Ever.

"It was beer, ok? I was 14." he didn't like this game already. Part of him wished he hadn't agreed to this. She started laughing. He hasn't changed one bit. He still has the mind of a 14 year old. "Ok, roomie. Now, it's your turn." She smiled at him, she wasn't afraid of him. He already knew most everything about her anyway. "Have you ever smoked a cigarette?" She let out a deep breath and then poured the vodka and took the drink. "I knew it! When?" He liked the fact that she actually had a wild side to her.

She looked him square in the eye and said "Right before I told you I would move in with you" he could tell she was joking and started laughing loudly. "I was 16. Peer pressure." He didn't think she had it in her. She never let anyone intimidate her. He didn't think she could be. "And it's your turn again." That stopped his laughter "Have you ever run away from home?"

He took another drink. "It was a couple months after my dad left. My mom found me at my cousin's. I had never seen her so scared. I never did that again, I couldn't put her through that a second time."

She could tell he was starting to get drunk. Normally it would hurt him to talk about something like that but, he just stared at her. "I'm sorry" was all she could think to say. Maybe this game wasn't such a good idea.

"It's ok. Don't apologize." he gave her a gentle smile that made her feel better. Only he could make her feel that way. Funny how two people can go from having a rough start, to being roommates, to friends, to whatever it was that they were right now.

They continued their drinking game for about an hour, learning more about each other. They were laughing and doing their usual roomie banter, and they did learn a few things about each other that surprised the both of them. The bottle of vodka was now almost completely gone, and they were both very drunk. "Ok, I have one. Have you ever lied to a patient?" he asked her

She took another drink. "This really cranky woman came in one day complaining that her head was hurting. She was very rude and stuck up and said she didn't want me treating her because I was 'Not American'." Ray looked at her in disgust. "We did a CT and found out her headache was psychosomatic." This of course made them both burst out laughing. "We also found out that she kicked her husband out of the house when he lost all his money."

He was still laughing "Is any of this true?"

"No, but just listen anyway." she couldn't stand being interrupted "So I had to tell her that if she got treated at County, her insurance wouldn't cover it. I told her she had to go somewhere else." They kept laughing. He thought it was funny but, he still couldn't stop thinking she was a little weird. She was either crazy, or heading in that direction. Hopefully it was just the alcohol. "Sorry. I think I'm just going crazy." she continued laughing. What was wrong with her? Ever since her dream the other night she had been feeling so different around him. She was starting to turn into one of his groupies he always brought home.

"If it makes you feel any better, I think you are, too."

Ordinarily she would get mad at him but, he looked so adorable sitting there in his nice clothes. They hadn't changed yet, only taken off their shoes when they came in "Now, your turn. Have you ever been in love?"

Where did that come from? He didn't know what to say to her. If he was truthful then he would take another drink but, he didn't want her to know. Was he in love? He had to think about it, which is kind of hard to do with that much vodka clouding your brain. There were other times where he had more alcohol than this but, he was still drunk. "I wish I could answer that but, we drank it all." he said, pointing at the bottle. That was close.

Since the game was over, they decided that now would be a good time to go to bed, it was after midnight. They both stood up. They were going to need a good nights sleep because they were going to spend most of the morning getting sober before work. He told her 'Goodnight' and she stared at him. He had never seen her look at him this way. This had to be a dream and if it wasn't a dream, then it had to be the alcohol. She didn't think about him that way.

She looked at him and for some reason, she wasn't able to say a word, all she could do was look at him. What was wrong with her? She noticed that he started giving her a strange look, he was most likely wondering why she hadn't said anything and was just staring at him. She didn't know why she was doing it any better than he did but, she couldn't seem to stop. He was the guy who knew her better than any man she's ever known. Who looks after her, who takes care of her, who's always been there for her. The best friend she's ever had. She has a connection and a degree of closeness with him that she didn't share with any other man. He was sweet, smart, funny, her best friend. Literally, the man of her dreams. She couldn't take it anymore. Without a thought in her head, she went up onto her toes and gave him a short, tender kiss and he froze. The kiss was over not long after it started and he couldn't believe it. After all that time, not just one but two tries before, and she kisses him like it's nothing. It was like she was teasing him. In that short kiss, Ray felt more than anything he's ever felt from all the kisses he ever had with a girl combined.

He still had his eyes closed, and no sooner than Neela's lips left his than she saw him leaning in for another kiss. When his lips finally connected with hers, it made her whole body start to heat up. He did want her after all, only this time, this wasn't a dream. For a second she thought maybe it was, but when she felt him wrap his arms around her, she knew this was real. She had dreams about him before but, none of them felt anywhere close to this. She felt him pull away from her and immediately after he had gone, she found herself craving for more. "I'm sorry." Neela could feel her heart breaking inside her chest, she wanted so badly for him not to say it had been a mistake. "I just, I shouldn't have taken advantage." He didn't mean for that to happen but, he couldn't really control it, it was just sort of an instinct.

That was all she needed to hear. She leaned forward again, this time with more eagerness than before and crashed her lips onto his. He was in shock. "We probably shouldn't be doing this." he said against her lips. Of course he wanted her, he wanted her so badly that it took everything he had to try to form a sentence right now. He cared about her and didn't want her to get hurt. Not that he would ever intentionally hurt her. He felt her sticking her tongue into his mouth, trying very hard to silence him. She didn't want him trying to talk her out of this. If she stopped then she was going to think of all the reasons why she was making the wrong choice. "Neela, we're drunk. Very drunk." He knew he was an idiot for saying that but, he just didn't want to be one of her regrets.

That was it. She wanted him to stop talking. She pulled back and said "Shut up." and wrapped her arms around his waist. "And it's not taking advantage if I _want_ to." At first, he looked at her in complete disbelief. Then that's when he started to realize, that was why she had been acting so weird around him lately. She had feelings for him, too. He couldn't believe it. She was right. She was the one who started this. _She_ kissed him first, not the other way around. All this time, and it wasn't him, it was her.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her so tight. He had never felt this way with any girl he'd ever been with. He gave her that look of intensity again before slowly easing his way to her lips for the second time. He half expected the phone to ring, or for there to be a knock at the door, or knowing their luck, for there to be an earthquake. Something. There wasn't. Not this time. The kiss had more certainty and passion than the one he had given her earlier. Neela felt the heat come back instantly. For once, she ignored her doubts and fears, and the constant nagging voice in her head that kept telling her this was a bad idea and she shouldn't be doing this. She didn't care. She didn't want to think right now. All she wanted was just to be with him. She didn't care about anything else at the moment.

Still kissing, she guided him back to her room. She couldn't seem to stop and felt her breath quickening. His hands traveled all over her body, which started to make her grow impatient. It felt like he was teasing her. They finally made it to her door and slammed into it. Not hard, but enough to make them both elicit a lustful moan. He leaned in and kissed up and down her neck. He had wanted this for so long, and it was so much better than he ever imagined it would be. He grabbed her by both her wrists and pinned her to the door. She wanted to touch him so much that it ached. She tried, but he wouldn't let go of his firm grip on her. Now that he finally had her with him, there was no way she was getting away. This was how he wanted her. As his lips continued to travel all over her neck, he reached behind her and began unzipping her dress. Just like in her dream, all she could do was stand there and watch as he slid the dress slowly off her body. She watched as his eyes traveled all over her. He looked at her again with so much desire. She could see how much he wanted this, and for how long. She couldn't make him wait any longer. She looked into his eyes as she sensually started taking his shirt off his chest. Her hands slowly and softly started caressing his body as she took off his shirt. His need was growing for her more and more with every passing second. He pushed her against the door again slightly, letting her feel his body pressed up against hers. It felt so good but, it wasn't enough to satisfy either one of them, and it was starting to get hard for both of them to control themselves.

He opened the door and their lips met again. Every kiss seemed to push her closer and closer to the edge. If he kept doing this, she was going to rip off the rest of his clothes. They made their way to the end of the bed. Their tongues were still exploring each others mouths until he pulled away from her. He just looked at her. He didn't have to say anything, she knew what this was about. He wanted to know if she was sure about this. Once they did this, things would never be the same. He knew she wanted this but, he had to make sure she understood the seriousness of the situation. She slid her hands around to the front of his waist and smiled at him while she began to undo his pants. He did his best not to grope her right then and kept telling himself to let her prove how much she wanted this to him. He placed his hands gently onto hers, letting her know that he wanted her to resume what she was doing. When she was done taking them off, they started kissing again. Just like her dream, after she took off his pants, he was everywhere. His lips of course, but especially his hands.

Ray felt Neela's hands go onto his stomach, pushing him gently back onto her bed. He landed onto it softly on his back. A sexy smile formed on his lips as he watched her slowly crawl her way onto him and sit on his lap, straddling him. She had never looked more beautiful than she did right now. She pressed her body against his and kissed him. He wrapped his fingers in her hair. It was so soft. His hands moved down and started gently caressing her back. After a while, Neela went back up into a sitting position. She could tell what he wanted right now. He watched her, desire still in his eyes, as she put both hands behind her back and started to take off her bra. She smiled as she watched his eyes travel to look at the skin that had been shown to him, now he didn't have to imagine what she would look like. The look on his face started to change to a more hungry yearning look, along with the always burning intensity. She knew he wanted this just as badly as she did. She reached down and grabbed his hand, brought it to her mouth, and tenderly kissed it. He was just about to break now. Then, she took his hand and placed it onto her left breast, close to where her heart was. He could feel the rapid beat of her heart and held onto her firmly, which made her start to bite her lip. She wanted him to touch her without boundaries between them. No clothes, nothing getting in their way. Just them. That was all it took for him to loose his control. She had finally pushed him over the edge, there was no going back now. This was going to happen.

When she leaned in to kiss him again, that's when he suddenly wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled himself on top of her, making her moan very loudly. All of a sudden, he was acting a lot differently and she started seeing a side of him she had never seen before. He pressed his lips onto hers in an instant, kissing her fiercely and determinedly. Her legs were still wrapped around his waist and he ran his hands up and down her thighs very firmly. Her desire had built up inside of her so much now that she started to feel like she could burst at any second. He took his mouth away from hers and moved it over to her breast. He gently took it into his mouth, sucking and nibbling at it. His hand moved to her other one, squeezing it hardly. Her moaning had now grown louder, and she started to get goose bumps all over her body. She was growing more and more impatient, she wouldn't be able to take much more of this torture. She digged her nails into his back, making him groan slightly. Now she was the one who was torturing him. He moved his lips back over to her mouth, running his hands all over her body. He looked into her eyes and saw how badly she was wanting this. He could tell that it had been going on for some time. How had he not seen it before? He must have been so blinded by his own fear and doubt that he couldn't see what she was going through. She must have been doing the same thing with him. It seemed like there wasn't any inch of her skin that he hadn't already touched. At least, almost any inch, but that wouldn't be for long. Their tongues quickly entered into each other's mouths again. They both started moaning impatiently and breathing very heavily.

She was so afraid to close her eyes. She didn't want to wake up and find that it had all been a dream again. When she did do it, he was still there above her when she opened them this time. Then she knew with absolute certainty that this was really happening.

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A/N: All right, can any of you honestly tell me that you didn't see that one coming? lol Didn't think so. Oh, and tiger-tiger27 thanks so much for telling me about chapter 6! Glad I had somebody fooled!

Wow, I had no idea this chapter was going to be so long. I think it's the longest chapter I've ever written for any story. It definitely was not easy to write. I hope you liked this very long chapter and please, please review!!!


	9. The Reason

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I do not own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music mentioned. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Thank you so much again for the reviews! I wasn't entirely sure if it was the right moment for the last chapter yet, but when you guys were saying things like "About time" and "Finally" I knew I had made the right choice.

To KG, it's ok. You guys didn't pressure me at all. I love hearing from you guys. It always puts me in a good mood and I posted it to say thank you. And Historianic, just wanted to let you know that yes, that was intentional. Glad you caught that. Like I said, the music is in here for a reason. Also, thank you so much for the compliment about the love scene. That really blew me away. Thanks!

Thanks again! You all are very sweet!! And keep them coming because I love to hear from you guys!

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Ray and Neela both laid on their side sleeping. Ray was laying behind Neela. He was very close to her and had his arms wrapped tightly around her. A part of him was still afraid that she might get away.

Ray woke up before she did. He was so happy to open his eyes and see this beautiful woman that he cared about like no one else laying next to him. He had been with a lot of girls but, it had never felt anywhere close to the way it felt with her last night. She knew exactly what he was wanting when he wanted it, almost like she had been reading his mind. She was his best friend, and who knows you better than your best friend? But for her to just look at him and know exactly what he wanted, it proved to him that she was the girl for him. She was the one. Ray, the ladies man, the guy who wasn't with the same girl for more than one night, he had finally found the one. A part of him didn't think that he would ever settle down. He didn't think that any girl would ever make him want to. A sweet smile started to slowly form on his face as he watched her sleep. Obviously, he had been wrong.

Neela started to wake up. She had a really bad headache, brought her hand to her head and covered her face. She groaned slightly. Ray could always hold his liquor better than she could. She still had her hand on her head and the events of last night started to flood back to her. He had been so sweet and so gentle with her. After all the times she heard him with his groupies, he really surprised her last night. Ray didn't seem like the gentle type. More like the pin you against the wall and throw you against the bed type. Then again, he did raise her arms above her head and pin her to her bedroom door with a good deal of strength. Not that she was complaining. He had been wild and passionate but, he had also been very sweet, kind, and god, even tender at the same time. She didn't know he could be like that.

She put her hand down and noticed that his arms were holding her very tightly. She could feel him behind her. She turned her head back to look at him. He had been watching her with a soft smile on his face. "Hey" she said, a little embarrassed. How long had he been watching her?

"Hey" he replied and smiled a little bigger. He had been wanting this for such a long time and he couldn't help but wallow in his happiness.

She shifted her position and laid on her back, then asked "How long have you been watching me?"

Every time he looked at her, she seemed to get more beautiful than the time before. Sometimes at work he would just watch her. Watch her talk, move, and he loved it when she laughed. He still had one arm wrapped around her, then moved the other one so that it was gently caressing her stomach. If he could have his way, he would take her, right here, right now. Last night had been unbelievable and left him wanting more. "Not long" he said to her with the hungry look in his eyes again.

When she saw the way he was looking at her, it reminded her of the way he looked last night when she was sitting above him. Only this time, it was him who was looking down at her instead. It scared her just a little bit when he looked at her that way. Not because she didn't like it, but because no one had ever looked at her so intensely and so passionately before. She looked into his eyes, said his name softly, and then looked away. She couldn't finish with him looking at her that way. She started to look down at the sheets that were covering her body. "Last night…" she didn't really know how to put it into words and she hated how that sounded so much like a cliché. How was she going to say it without him thinking she was a dork? "Well…" she tried to continue. He thought it was adorable how nervous she was getting just talking about last night "it wasn't something that was just all of a sudden" she shut her eyes. She was so embarrassed right now. He was grinning the whole time, he had never seen her so shy before. "I had been wanting it to happen for a while now."

He took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I know" he said and when he did, she finally started to look at him again. How did he know? Already knowing why she was looking at him that way he simply said "I could tell." She knew it. She knew that he could read her when he looked at her that way. She couldn't seem to keep anything from him. He always knew. Then again, last night it probably wasn't hard to tell. "I've been feeling the same way" he said tenderly.

She smiled slightly. "I know." Guess he had been pretty obvious, too, and her reply didn't surprise him at all. She had known that he had feelings for her for a long time but, this had been the first time he had actually voiced his feelings to her. The same thing went for her, too. "And last night wasn't entirely terrible" she told him teasingly. She felt much better now that it was out in the open but, that didn't mean that the looks he was giving her made her any less nervous. She laid over on her other side this time, still facing him, and looked at him from the corner of her eye. He ran his fingers all over her back and moved them up into her hair. She noticed that he had started staring at her mouth. She could tell he wanted to kiss her.

"Really?" he said with a cocky grin. He made his way to her mouth slowly, still not entirely certain if she would stop him or not. He was just inches away from her lips when she just barely caught the time on the clock on her nightstand behind him before he was covering it up. "Ray!" she exclaimed.

Here we go again. Just when he thinks he's making progress, he actually starts going in reverse instead "I'm sorry" he told her, obviously hurt and disappointed. This was making his head spin. He didn't think that was just the hangover talking.

"No. It's not that. Look what time it is" He turned and looked at the clock "We're late!" Perfect. They forgot about work. They had gotten a little distracted. At least now he knew it was because they were late and not because she didn't want him to kiss her.

While Neela was searching around looking for something to throw on, Ray, without thinking, suddenly got out of bed and started looking around for his clothes "Ray!!" she exclaimed

He turned around quickly "What? What's wrong?" he looked confused.

She rolled her eyes slightly. He didn't know? He can't be serious. "Put some bloody clothes on!" she was somewhat irritated. He could be so oblivious sometimes.

Isn't that what he was trying to do? Of course, Ray used this to his advantage. "Why? It's not like it's anything you haven't seen before." he said flirtatiously with fire in his eyes.

She looked away again and kept telling herself over and over not to look at him "I know, I know. Just put some clothes on" she said quickly and had a blush on her cheeks.

"What's the matter? Did you see something you liked?" he continued flirting and started walking towards her.

"We don't have time. We're already late" she tried to stop him. Don't look at him, don't look at him. There isn't time.

"I don't care" he said boldly and was starting to reach out for her

"Put your clothes on, you wanker!" He acted just like a child sometimes.

"Make me."

"Maybe I will." He was almost on her when she suddenly scrambled forward and grabbed his pants. They were still at the foot of the bed and she threw them back at him and they hit him in the face. When he removed them, she had already started making her way to the bathroom.

How did they go from being close friends to trying to become more than that in just one night? Was it just the vodka? Maybe they were still a little drunk. They didn't normally act this way. Not that they hadn't been wanting to, but it was just different now. Sometimes different can be a good thing.

They got ready as fast as they possibly could considering they were both still hung over from last night. Things were still a little awkward but, not like they had been before. Before it was because they weren't being honest with each other. Now it was awkward because they hadn't really been in this kind of situation before. Not that they never had feelings for someone before, just not for their roommate and someone they were this close to. How were they supposed to go from being close friends to something more? Was it supposed to be easy? Why was it so complicated?

They made their way into the hospital and saw Abby and Frank standing at the admin desk. They were better than they were when they first woke up but, it was still pretty obvious why they were late. "Have a few drinks last night?" Frank asked, but didn't wait for the answer and left to go talk to a doctor in one of the exam rooms.

Neela and Ray stood in front of the desk facing Abby. "Finally, you two are here. Weaver is looking for the both of you. She's really mad."

"We, uh, overslept" he said and looked at Neela. He knew she wouldn't want anyone to know about them, at least not yet. Not when they were still trying to work things out between them.

She started looking at them suspiciously "Right" she said, first looking at him for a while and then at Neela. "Well, I covered for you both." They _both_ overslept? That seemed strange.

"Thank you" Neela replied.

Ray walked behind the desk, stood next to Abby, and then grabbed a chart. He was still a little out of it. "Looks like the two of you had fun last night" she kept shifting her gaze between the two of them but neither of them were really looking at her.

They both ignored her last comment. Neela looked at Ray and said "Ray, we'll talk later" Hoping he'd get the hint.

"Ok" he said, not paying any attention and still looking at the chart. That's when he felt Abby nudge him in his side with her elbow. They both knew he didn't understand what she was really saying. He looked up and said "What?" There he goes again. Did she have to spell it out for him? She wasn't going to say it in front of Abby so she just gave him a look. "Oh" finally, it sunk in "Ok" he gave her a sweet smile and then walked away.

Neela sighed and then walked around so that now she was the one who was standing next to her. She watched Neela out of the corner of her eye and didn't say a word. "What did you tell Weaver?" Neela said as she was looking through some papers on the desk. At first she didn't respond and continued to look at her. When she didn't say anything, Neela turned her head and looked at her.

"You slept with Ray, didn't you?" she said confidently with a smirk on her face.

Neela blinked rapidly a couple times and her eyes grew a little bigger "No! Why would you think that?" she pretended not to know what she was talking about.

"Yes, you did. You and Ray got drunk and had sex, that's why you two were late." She wasn't trying to be nosey, but she seemed like she needed someone to talk to. Her intentions were good.

"Ray and I are just friends. That's all" she went back to looking through the papers, doing her best not to have any eye contact.

Abby nodded slowly a few times and Neela could tell from the look on her face that she didn't believe her "You do that with your friends?"

She didn't want to talk about this anymore at the moment, at least not with Abby. This was a conversation she had to have with Ray and no one else "I have to get to work" she grabbed a handful of charts and started walking away. Abby just chuckled.

She was embarrassed, but Abby was her friend so she knew she wouldn't tell anyone. Not that she was ashamed of sleeping with Ray, it was just private. She didn't want the whole ER to know. Her and Ray were still trying to work this out and having it spread around to everyone you know wouldn't help when you don't even really know what's going on yourself. If Frank, or Chuny, or someone else had found out, then it would have been spread around to the entire hospital. Thank god it was just Abby. She could trust her. She knew she wouldn't do that to her. It made her feel better about it.

Neela finished up with a patient and started walking towards admin again. She was walking slowly because she had been writing something in her chart. The sound of laughter broke her out of her concentration. She looked up and saw Ray standing at the admin desk with a young nurse. Who was she? She had never seen her before. She must be new. No need to get upset, their just talking. She and Ray seemed to be having a friendly conversation, especially when the girl placed her hand on Ray's arm. Unbelievable. He was flirting. This was so typical. Neela couldn't watch anymore. She turned around and started making her way to the elevator. She had to get some space and clear her head.

She went out to the roof and looked onto the city. How could she have been so stupid? Her and Ray? Who was she kidding? They hadn't even talked about last night yet and he was already moving on to the next girl. She couldn't believe him. How could he do this to her? She thought she was his friend. Why should she be any different than any of the others? She was hoping their friendship had meant more to him than that. It wasn't just their relationship at stake here, they had both put their friendship on the line last night. She had meant nothing to him. What a jerk. He had no respect for any of them, and especially not for her. She felt miserable and cheap. She wanted to cry. No, she shouldn't cry over him.

Ray gently took the nurses hand off his arm. Ordinarily he would jump at the chance, but he cared about Neela too much to hurt her like that. He was a changed man now. That hadn't been his intention when he started talking to her. He was just talking and having a good time but, he had to get away from her. Not that he didn't trust himself, he knew there was no one else for him but Neela. It was because no one was allowed to touch him that way anymore except for his roomie. He made his way to the stairs. He didn't want to take the time to wait for the elevator and he thought that kind of exercise would be good for him and help him to think about some things. Especially last night. He hadn't seen Neela for hours. Not since they first came in. He had been wanting to talk to her all this time and could hardly think about anything else, but whenever he looked for her, he couldn't find her. Where was she? She said she wanted to talk. They had both admitted how they felt but, they had a few things they still had to work out.

He opened the door to the roof and stepped outside. He didn't see her at first. He took a few more steps and that's when he noticed her. She looked so small and frail. Was she ok? He approached her quietly and slowly because he didn't want to startle her, she still wasn't aware that he was behind her yet. She was standing completely still. He knew she had been up here thinking about him, and from the way she was acting he didn't know whether he should be happy or worried. He was finally right behind her and placed his hand gently on her shoulder.

She shut her eyes when she felt his soft touch on her. Please don't let it be him right now. Not now. She was going to have to face him sooner or later, she did live with him. She turned her head to the side and saw him looking at her with a small smile on his face. She couldn't return it, not with the way she was feeling right now. "Are you ok?" he asked before removing his hand.

She kept telling herself not to cry, especially in front of him, this was hard enough as it was. "I've just been thinking about last night" she choked out the words.

He was really nervous. He still didn't know if he should be worried or not. Was that good or bad? He couldn't take much more of this. It was killing him. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her before it was too late because it was starting to make him anxious "So have I. Neela, I--"

No. She didn't want to hear it. No lines. No more excuses. She wasn't one of his skanks and she wasn't going to let him do this to her. She turned and faced him "I think last night was a mistake" she cut him off.

He couldn't hold back his hurt and disappointment. He was afraid of this. He thought he made it clear last night how serious this was. He was too hurt to say anything, and honestly, he didn't know what to say to her. He wanted to tell her how he felt. He wanted to know why she was doing this. This morning she was fine. He didn't understand. What happened? What changed? She said she wanted it. She wanted him. He saw it, he felt it. "What?" was the only thing he could say. No, this wasn't happening.

After she saw the look on his face, she felt so bad. She knew she had really hurt him. Maybe last night did mean something to him. She was just lying to herself and seeing what she wanted to see. He just wasn't used to being rejected. "I want things to go back to the way they were. I think we should go back to just being friends." It broke her heart to say it but, she didn't have a choice. She was doing this for their own good. Their friendship meant more to her than anything and she couldn't lose that.

There was a look in her eyes that he couldn't seem to place. Why couldn't he read her lately? He honestly didn't know if she was angry with him or lying about the way she felt. Maybe it was both. She had been sending him so many mixed signals, and this one was the worst one of them all. They just stood there in silence for a few moments. Neither one of them able to move or say anything. He looked down at the ground for a few seconds, not even able to look at her after a while. He wanted to say something to her. Talk her out of it. Find out why she was doing this. Something. He was certain she had feelings for him, but maybe it wasn't enough. He couldn't find the strength to argue with her right now. He was too hurt and too upset. He could already tell he was going to regret not doing more to try to stop her, but she had broken him too much for him to be able to come up with anything. All he could think of to say was "If that's what you really want" he was still looking down at the ground and walked away from her, leaving her there alone.

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A/N: Please review!


	10. Not Ready to Make Nice

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I do not own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music mentioned. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Wow, thank you so much for all the reviews!! You guys are the best! Very special thanks to the regulars who review every chapter, you all know who you are, it really means a lot to me!!!

Thanks so much again Historianic! Just wanted to let you know that I can say with absolute certainty, that there will be NO Katey or Gates. I'm going to keep my promise I made back in the first chapter about no Katey, Gates, Michael, or Brenner, so you don't have to worry about that.

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It was three weeks later. Neela had just started working her shift about an hour ago. She was hoping she would run into Ray today. She really wanted to talk to him later. Things were still very uncomfortable between them, even more so than they had been before.

She needed someone to talk to about it. She was just so grateful that Abby was working today. Even though she didn't really want to talk to her when she was asking questions the last time, she needed someone. The most important thing was that she wasn't Ray. She wanted to talk to him about this of course, but right now she needed someone to talk to and give her advice that wasn't him.

Neela was walking away from admin when she suddenly saw Abby making her way towards her. After they greeted each other, Neela said "Can I talk to you about something?" She hoped she wasn't too busy and would have time to talk to her. She really needed it.

"Sure." she told her, as they started making their way into the doctor's lounge so they could get some privacy. You never knew who might be listening. "What is it?" she asked, hoping she'd be able to help.

"I don't know where to start." she sighed. She had been in so much pain and anguish these past few weeks, she couldn't take it anymore. Even though Abby already knew about her and Ray, she still had never really admitted it. She already knew, so why couldn't she just say it? She wanted to talk about this but, how can she do that if she can't even say it or better yet, even think of how to put it into words?

Abby looked at her. She could see how much she was going through and she felt so bad for her. She seemed so lost. Neela was never lost. She always knew exactly what she was doing. She had never seen her this way before. "This is about Ray, isn't it?" She could already tell. Neela always got a certain look on her face whenever she was talking about him.

Neela tried to put on a small smile and shook her head a little. Not because she was denying Abby's question but, because a part of her couldn't believe that she already knew. She didn't know how she was going to tell her but, the fact that she already guessed made this a little easier, but how did she know it was about him? "He's the sweetest, most gentle person I know. He makes me laugh. He's the best friend I've ever had." she stopped for a second before she said the next part, almost like she was afraid to say it "And I can't stop thinking about him. All I want is just to be with him." She said sadly and quietly. Funny how she just was trying figure out the right way to say how she was feeling and now she couldn't stop talking about him. "I don't know what to do." She finally admitted. She still didn't really want to say out loud that they had slept together, not even to Abby. It was private. Not to mention, it was too painful for her to talk about.

"I can understand the problem." She said calmly as she teased her slightly and looked at her confused. What was the problem? "Have you tried talking to him?" She wanted to help her but, if she felt this way, then why wasn't she talking to him and not her? She didn't understand it.

Neela now looked like she was on the verge of tears after she mentioned talking to Ray. That was one of the reasons why she was so upset. "He's barely even looked at me in 3 weeks, let alone spoken to me." He hadn't talked to her since their conversation on the roof. She wanted them to go back to being friends again, but he hardly even looked at her. After all that, the exact thing she didn't want to happen between them, happened. They slept together, she had given into her feelings for him just for one night, and it ruined things between them. "He's gone back to working opposite shifts." He had started going back to the arrangement they had made when they first started living together. She knew he was avoiding her. He couldn't even stand to be around her anymore. What had she done? She hadn't made things better between them, only worse.

Abby looked at her concerned. She was starting to get very worried about her. She had noticed that Ray had been acting really different lately, too. He wasn't his usual joking, playful self. He had been acting more serious, only when she had asked him about it, he wouldn't talk to her. He was closing himself off from everyone, especially from Neela. They weren't going to solve their problems like this. Even though he found it too painful to be around her right now, this wasn't the solution. "I noticed he's been different lately. I didn't know what was wrong. If he's miserable, and you're miserable, then why don't the two of you both just swallow your pride and be together?" She wasn't trying to be mean to her or make her feel bad, but this all seemed so stupid to her. It would make sense if only one of them felt this way but, they both did? Why couldn't they just be together?

"I can't." she said simply, looking so broken and fragile again, just like she had on the roof.

"Why not?" she asked with feeling. She was trying her best to be a friend and try to help. Since she said that _she_ couldn't, now she knew that the real reason was Neela and not Ray.

"Because…" she couldn't seem to think of an answer right now. She had dumped him and she had known why, just like she knew why now, but she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. Instead she told her "I dumped him." and then looked down. Not able to look at her and feeling so ashamed of herself.

She looked at Neela and shook her head. It was at that moment that she realized that she was completely nuts. She was her friend. She loved her, and would do anything for her but, she's crazy! If she wants to be with him, then why doesn't she just be with him?! "Well, then why don't _you_ swallow your pride and be with him?!" she asked, almost yelling at her.

"I want the two of us to just be friends. I can't lose that." she mumbled, still not looking at her.

She looked at her for a few seconds, almost like she was analyzing her. She looked so weak, almost like you could make her fall over just by the smallest touch. Abby was starting to understand a little more, but she was still confused. Was she afraid because she didn't want to lose their friendship over a fling? It seemed to her like they already had, even though she would never say that to her. He wasn't talking to her. Or was she afraid of meaning nothing to Ray? She had to know that she could never mean nothing to him, right? Even Abby knew that. One thing was for sure, standing here talking to her was not going to help them, this was something they needed to work out together. Somehow they needed to find a way to communicate with each other, no matter what had happened or how much tension there was between them right now.

She took a step towards her and put her arms around her. She knew that this is what she needed right now and felt Neela's arms return the embrace. "I'm sorry but, I don't think I can help you with this. You need to work it out with him somehow." she said sweetly to let her know that she cared "I'm here for you but, this is between you and Ray."

It was true. She was her friend but, ultimately, the only way to fix this was to try and talk to him. While Neela was still upset about the situation with Ray, and even though she knew Abby couldn't really help her, the fact that she was there for her and how much she cared did make her feel a little better. She didn't know how she was going to strike up a conversation with him or better yet, if she was even going to see him in the first place. How can you talk to someone that you don't really see anymore? Makes it a little difficult.

She never meant for any of this to happen. She never meant to hurt him, it felt like she had lost her best friend. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but she didn't know it was going to be this hard. The pain was starting to get unbearable. What was worse? The no communication or that they couldn't be together? Neither one of those was better or worse than the other.

Later, Neela started walking into the drug lock-up to search for some vials of meds she needed. After she got everything she needed, she started making her way out. When she turned, she was stunned to see Ray standing right in front of her. She hadn't even heard him walk in. What was he doing here? Not that she didn't want him here, she just wasn't expecting him to be. Either he wasn't able to get the opposite shift as hers today or he mixed the days up. Maybe he had come early. She looked into his eyes and saw everything she was feeling reflected back at her a thousand fold, if that was even possible. It really broke her heart to see him this way. They were standing there staring at each other and not even saying a word for a couple of seconds before they tried to make their way around each other. The thing was, there wasn't very much space, the drug lock-up was quite small. So much so that they were starting to brush up against each other in a way that they hadn't done since the night they made love.

She shut her eyes for a second as felt Ray brushing up against her. They were moving rather slowly and she was starting to remember what it felt like to be pressed up against him. The heat and the intoxication, and he only made the situation worse when he placed his hands on her shoulders to try to guide himself around her. Before now she had told herself that it was because of the alcohol that she had felt like that, but now she knew that wasn't it. Every fiber and every sense of her body was filled with him, which made her freeze right there in one spot and just stare up at him.

He didn't realize she was in here. He wasn't able to get the opposite shift today. Why hadn't he called in sick like he planned on doing? Ray tried his best to make his way around her, trying to ignore the fact that she was so close to him. He wanted her now more than he ever had and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying this just a little bit. After all, he's a guy. Then she brushed up against him in a way that sent a sudden shock-wave all throughout his body and made him stop almost at the exact moment that she did. If she hadn't broken his heart, he would be all over her right now. There was no question in his mind about that.

The only thing she could ration out of her head right now was "Ray, I miss you" she whispered very softly, but she knew he was standing close enough to hear it. Hopefully that would break down the brick wall he had built to shut her out.

He continued to stare at her. This was one of the reasons why he hadn't really looked at her these past few weeks. He knew that if he looked at her, even if it was just once, that he would start to cave. He wasn't doing this to be cruel to her but, being around her and this close to her right now was too much for him to handle. Of course he felt the same way. He didn't want to tell her the truth but, he would never lie to her. "Me, too" he told her quietly with a little glisten in his eyes.

He wasn't cold and he did care about her more than he cared about himself, so he wouldn't shut her out forever, she knew that, but she still didn't know how she was going to help him let her back in. She really wasn't going to figure it out with him standing so close to her either. Now that she was standing right in front of him, she wasn't really sure what to say. How was she going to get his friendship back? She wanted it so badly, possibly even more than she wanted him. At least he was talking to her now. "I want us to be friends again."

He looked at her the same way he had the last time she had said that to him. There was that 'friend' word again. It felt almost like a death sentence. He did want to be her friend, but he just really needed to not hear that word right now. It killed him to think what he was about to say almost as much as it hurt him to listen to the conversation they were having. "I'm sorry. I can't. Not right now." was all he could say to her. He hated himself for doing it but, he couldn't _just_ be her friend right now. Being friends with her seemed more like torture.

She hoped for a different answer than that, but at least he actually said something to her, and he did say that he couldn't right now. Maybe all he needed was just time. Three weeks had already seemed like such a long time but, she would wait for him if that was what he really wanted. She looked at him sadly and started making her way past him and out of the drug lock-up. Hopefully this would just be temporary. She didn't know how much more of this she could take.

Ray just stood there in a fog for a minute. It was childish to shut her out like that, but he couldn't help it. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her. He had been with a lot of girls before, but he wasn't used to getting dumped. Usually it was the other way around. Of course, that wasn't the reason why he was so upset. He wasn't used to wanting to see a girl again after they slept together. What was so different about Neela? She was his roommate, his best friend, even though they weren't really talking right now, but she just made him feel so…different than the rest of the girls he'd been with. They weren't going to be together, she didn't want it. She wanted him, but she didn't want that, which made no sense to him, but he needed to accept it somehow.

One of the reasons she started walking out of the drug lock-up was because she didn't want him to see her cry. She didn't want him to know how much this was hurting her. She was pretty sure he knew how much this was affecting her already but she didn't want him to see it. He had enough to deal with right now. Did this mean he still wasn't going to talk to her or even look at her for now? Hopefully she had made things a little better by talking to him and not worse like she had before.

She continued her shift, talking to a patient in one of the exam rooms. This had been such a long day, good thing it was almost over. Just a couple more patients and then she could go home and get in bed. "How can I help you, Mr. Murphy?" she asked, barely able to keep her eyes open as she was scanning over his chart.

"I have a really bad pain in my stomach that won't go away." he told her, putting his hand to his stomach with a look of pain on his face.

"How long have you had these pains?" she asked as she started writing down what he was saying.

"Almost two weeks." he told her, before he let out a small moan.

She looked up at him slightly in concern. Could be an ulcer or an appendicitis. "Ok, I'm going to do a scope. That's where we put a camera down and try to see what's wrong but, before we do that, I'm going to give you something for the pain. I'll be right back."

"Ok." he said and shifted a little on the table, most likely because he found it too painful to move.

Neela turned and started making her way out of the room when she heard a noise that sounded like movement and suddenly felt someone grab her from behind tightly so she couldn't move. He had one arm wrapped halfway around her waist, and felt part of his other arm clutch around part of her shoulder to where she felt the cold steel of a knife held tightly to her throat. Time seemed to stand still as she was completely frozen in total disbelief and heard him say into her ear "If you try to call for help, I'll slit your throat."

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A/N: Please review!

Also, just wanted to let you all know that I know I talked about how many chapters there was going to be but, I just want to make it clear so no one's confused that that was just as estimate. The truth is, I still have no idea how long this story is going to be exactly. It could be shorter than I estimated or it could be longer. I promise I know where I'm going with this but the thing is, I don't have it entirely mapped out just yet and I also have to see where it takes me, too.

Thank you so much again to everyone who takes the time to read my fic!!! I hope you all are liking my story and please keep reading!


	11. Save Me

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I do not own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music mentioned. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews!! It's always great to hear from all of you! You mean, I was actually able to surprise you for a change? Wow. I couldn't believe it but, it was still nice to know! I didn't think I would surprise you guys ever.

On a side note, if you'll notice, I decided to have titles for each chapter now. Their all going to be named after songs. The idea came to me just recently and Idk why I didn't think of it earlier!! Oh, and just in case you were wondering, no, I did not make up the title for chapter 2, it is an actual song lol. I know, I know, it's crazy but I just thought it would be very appropriate for that chapter, and really funny lol!

Anyway, enough from me, here's another chapter!!

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Her whole life flashed in front of her eyes. She always thought that people who said that sort of thing about near death experiences were just making it up.

She had never been through anything like this before. They had always instructed the interns with these kind of situations and told them what to do. Stay calm and try to diffuse the situation. How was she supposed to diffuse a situation like this? She couldn't call for help. All clear thought had escaped from her head. Yes, she had been instructed on if something like this happened but, they had never told her how to deal with the fear.

She was all by herself. She wished someone would come. Anyone. But they didn't. What did he want? Why was he doing this? She thought of a few things: possibly rape, or maybe he wanted money, or he could have just been an insane patient. It was then that she knew with total certainty she was going to die.

"What do you want?" she shut her eyes in pain as he held the knife more tightly against her throat.

"I know you have it here." he said into her ear with burning anger and with a deadly look on his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She had always heard of people having these kind of experiences but you never think it will happen to you. These kind of things happen to other people, not to you.

"I know it's here, don't lie to me!" he was now starting to yell at her. Maybe she wouldn't have to worry about being alone. Someone might come in if they heard yelling.

"Please" she begged, trying to swallow her fear as best she could. "I don't know what you're talking about." He might kill her if she took too long to figure out what he was talking about, so she did her best to think of what it was, but the fact that she was so scared right now wasn't helping her figure it out.

He didn't respond to her and forced her to move to the other side of the room by the cupboards. He surprised her by loosening his grip slightly on the knife. Pointing towards the cupboards, he said "Is it in there?"

What was he talking about? "What?" This was so frustrating. Couldn't he just say what it was? "What do you want?" She couldn't stand it anymore, she was scared but she was getting sick of him expecting her to know what he was thinking.

"You're a doctor, you know where it is. You don't need to leave the room to get it for me. It's in here somewhere, where is it?!" He was shouting again. As much as it hurt to hear him shouting into her ear, she hoped he would do it more so someone would overhear.

After the ringing in her ears went away, it was starting to sink in. He was talking about drugs. He wasn't sick at all. She had said she was going to get them for him, so, what was going on? Why was he threatening her? He didn't want her to leave the room because he thought someone would see her and that he would get found out. That was why he said she didn't have to leave the room to go get them. He must be an addict.

"Why are you doing this?" she finally asked. She had been wanting to know this entire time. Maybe if she knew why then she could reason with him.

"Because I want you and everyone else to suffer like I have suffered." He dropped his hand from her throat and went in front of her, holding the knife close to her face. "I know it's in here." He wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted, and he didn't care what he had to do to get it.

Neela didn't know what to do. He didn't sound like he could be reasoned with. If she gave him something just to make him high then her medical license could be in jeopardy, but if she didn't do it for him then he could kill her. It was like having to decide between bad and worse. She had no choice. Her hand slightly trembling, she reached into the cupboard and pulled out a couple vials.

His eyes were watching her intently. He watched her pull out the vials with madness and obsession. He wanted the drugs, but she had the upper hand. She's a doctor and he isn't. She knew the names of the medications, and what they were used for. One of the bottles she pulled out was a sedative that would calm him down and put him to sleep, while the other was one they used on patients with mental problems. "No screwing around, you understand?" He let her know that he was watching her and wouldn't let her get away with not giving him what he asked for, just in case what she pulled out was really for something else, or maybe were placebos.

She didn't say anything to him and just gave him a small nod to let him know that she understood. She did her best not to let him know how scared she was.

Still pointing the knife at her, they made their way over to the table. He sat down as Neela went over to get a syringe. How was she going to live with herself after she did this? Doctor's don't lie to the patients. They don't say their giving them something when their really giving them something else. She could remember the Hippocratic Oath word for word, and she was about to break it. She kept telling herself that she didn't have a choice. She was backed into a corner. This wasn't lying or malpractice, this was self-defense.

After she walked back over, she started to fill the tube with the drugs. Then, she heard a noise that sounded like thumping at the door. Someone was trying to get in. She looked over at the door and then back at the man, realizing that he must have locked it when she had left to get the syringe. She felt relieved that someone was here, she didn't care who it was. She heard the person, whoever it was, trying repeatedly to turn the knob. It was pretty obvious that they weren't going to leave anytime soon. Using logic, she looked at him and said "If we don't answer that, they'll just come back." Hoping he would understand her point. Yes, whoever it was, she wanted their help, but there was truth to what she was saying. Not to mention whoever it was had to have already been getting suspicious. They didn't usually lock these doors.

Giving her a look to let her know how serious he was, he said "You say one word, just _one_ word…" he started but didn't finish because he knew she would know what he was going to say.

She gave him a look like she understood, then walked over to the door. She took a breath in, trying to remain calm and do her best to control her panic. She wasn't sure if the person was still there until she heard them knocking on the other side of it. How was she going to tell this person what was going on without actually telling them? They should come up with some sort of secret signal for medical professionals to let each other know when their in trouble.

Standing in front of the door finally, she unlocked it. She opened it to see Ray standing there. It was the second time today that he had surprised her. Even though things were shaky between them right now, she couldn't have been more happy to see him.

"Neela, here you are." He had been looking for her? "One of your patients is critical and needs you." Looked like they made a little bit of progress from before, even if it was just about work and the hurt he was feeling was still evident, at least to her anyway. Right now, all she could think about was trying to figure out a way to get him to stay.

"Ok, I'll be there as soon as I'm finished" she looked deeply into his eyes. If she couldn't tell him, he might be able to tell from the look on her face. Somehow Ray always knew what was wrong, even when she didn't say anything.

Ray looked over Neela's shoulder and saw the man sitting on the table. Neela looked back and noticed that the knife had disappeared. Obviously he hid it so Ray wouldn't suspect anything.

They looked back at each other again. He didn't know why, but something about this seemed a little weird to him. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was wrong. "Are you ok?" he asked quietly so only she could hear. He wasn't just talking about him and Neela.

She kept a serious face. Maybe he would figure it out. She hoped. He could already tell something was bothering her, just like he always did. "I'm fine, Raymond." She looked into his eyes again as she said his name in a way she never had, hoping he would pick up on it.

He gave her a confused look. She had never called him that ever. He must have hurt her more than he thought he had when they were in the drug lock-up. She had to have been upset. Maybe it was time for them to talk about this. After all, avoiding each other wasn't going to solve anything. They would talk later when they got home. "Ok" He gave her a look like he was sorry. He hated himself for hurting her. "I'll go work on him until you're finished." He hoped that would help make her feel a little better.

"Thank you" she mumbled quietly while doing her best to give him a little smile. She was very worried and upset that he hadn't figured it out. Maybe he didn't know her as well as she thought he did. She did have to spell things out for him sometimes, but this time she really couldn't. She closed the door and locked it again, figuring that if she didn't that Mr. Murphy would say something. She walked back over and was shocked when she felt the man, once again, put the knife to her throat just like he had before. Why was he doing this? She hadn't done anything. She hadn't told Ray anything.

"What did you say to him?" he said angrily. He had seen them whispering to each other. He must have thought she had told him something.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything." She knew how that must have sounded. He wasn't going to believe her. Why her? She was a good person, why was this happening to her?

"Yes, you did" he exclaimed, sticking the knife into her throat further. She could almost feel what it would be like to really be stabbed, the knife was digging that far into her throat. "What did you say to him?"

Before Ray had knocked on the door, things had seemed like they were going to be ok, but now she was right back where she started. What was she going to do? Was there anything she could say to convince him? No matter what she said he was going to think she was lying. "I didn't say anything to him. He doesn't know" she said with more boldness, hoping he would just believe her but doubting he would. She was quickly nearing her breaking point. If he didn't believe her, then he was going to kill her.

Then, she felt the man quickly remove the knife away from her throat. For a second she felt relieved that he had actually believed her, until she heard what sounded like struggling behind her. She turned around and saw Mr. Murphy and Ray fighting with each other. Ray had come in and grabbed the man from behind. She locked the door, how did he get in here? The two of them struggled for a few moments until Ray pushed him back. The man stood there with the knife pointed at both of them while Ray stood in front of Neela to protect her. He knew Neela, and he had never seen her act that way before, and more importantly, she had never ever called him 'Raymond' before in the whole time he had known her. Something had to be wrong.

"I knew you told him" the man said, even angrier than he had been before.

"She didn't" Ray replied back with a look on his face that Neela had never seen before. It wasn't so much fear, although she was sure it was there, but it looked more like he was angry. The very idea that anyone would try to hurt Neela, _his_ Neela, made him furious. Ray was always so sweet and gentle, especially with her, but for the first time in her life, Neela could see that Ray wanted to kill him.

"She must have told you something" he said, with murder in his eyes "They always do!". What did he mean? 'They' who? "I spent 6 years in prison because of my wife!" Ray and Neela both looked at him, listening to him and trying to understand what he was saying. "She told me she loved me, and she turned me in!" By the word 'they', he must have meant 'women'.

Now they understood, but of course since Neela had been in the room with him this entire time, she knew more than Ray did. His wife turned him in because of his drug addiction. He had either sold drugs or bought them illegally. "Before she took my two kids and left me." Even though this guy was insane, a small part of them felt a little bad for him. It was sad his kids were living without a father, but at the same time, he couldn't blame his wife because he had only brought this upon himself.

Looking at Ray, he said "And I am not going back there", talking about going back to prison. He lunged forward with the knife to stab Ray who jumped out of the way just in time. Ray reached forward and grabbed his hand, the one that had the knife in it. They struggled as Ray tried to get him to drop the knife. Neela just stood there, not really sure what to do and in shock. The knife dropped to the floor and just as the man started to lean down to pick it back up, Ray punched him in the face as hard as he could, making him fall to ground and lose consciousness.

After waiting a few seconds to make sure the man was really out, Ray looked back up at Neela, who was standing right there. Taking a few steps toward her, they just stared at each other. They were both still in shock and not really sure what to say right now. He had just saved her life. Looking up at him, not able to say anything right now because she was still coming off of what had happened and also feeling so moved because of what Ray had just done, she did the only thing she could think of to do. She quickly went forward and put her arms around him, squeezing him as tight as she could. He returned the embrace and wrapped his arms around her. He felt her body trembling and heard her sobbing softly. He ran his fingers gently through her hair and whispered "It's ok now."

Both of them knew they couldn't stay here long. The man would come-to eventually. They would just stay here for a few moments while Neela calmed down.

"How did you get in here? The door was locked." Not that she wasn't glad he had come, of course she was, but she couldn't figure it out.

"You locked that door" he said as he looked at the door where they had talked earlier "Just that one. Not the other one." Letting her know how he had gotten in. He had sneaked into the other door.

That's right. She had forgotten about the other door. Not all the rooms had doors that could lock, but this one did, and she was glad that Ray had been smart enough to check the other door, too. He did know her as well as she thought he did after all. How could she have forgotten about the other door? Her fear must have been affecting her logic and memory. And the patient hadn't noticed it? Not that she wanted him to. "Thank you" she said softly as a couple tears fell.

He held her tighter to let her know how he felt without having to say it. Just a while ago they could hardly stand to be around each other and now they were starting to remember what it had been like to have each other in their arms, missing the feeling of it. Somehow, some way, they would work through this. They didn't know how, but they would. They couldn't lose each other. Not now, not ever.

"What happened?" He still wasn't entirely sure what that guys deal was. He had only heard part of the story and he hadn't been there from the beginning. Why had he pulled a knife on her? He could have just been a psycho, but maybe getting her to talk about it would help. He hoped.

She closed her eyes. It took a little while before she could say it even though the feeling of Ray's arms around her was starting to get her to calm down. "He said he had stomach pains. I told him I would get him some pain meds and he put a knife to my throat." Talking about it was starting to make her relive it in her mind and that was hard, but Ray was helping.

He stroked her back softly. Poor Neela. Good thing he came when he did. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn't. He didn't even want to think about it.

A couple more tears fell before she continued "He didn't want me to leave the room, and he forced me to get drugs from in here. All he wanted was drugs." There. She had finally told him everything. It did make her feel better, especially knowing the fact that he cared that much about her and wanted back into her life again.

"He just wanted to get high" Ray said as it sunk in. He finally understood after she told him what happened. He leaned back a little, wanting to look at her and asked concerned "Did he hurt you?" Wondering if maybe there were some sort of cut or wound he couldn't see.

This was the Ray she remembered. The one that she had missed these past few weeks. The one who cared about her. "No" she said as she looked back at him knowing he had been meaning had he hurt her in _any_ way. After all, he didn't know every single thing that had happened before he got there.

Putting his hand to her cheek he said "Good" looking into her eyes, he realized that he didn't want to wait until they were home to talk. He couldn't wait that long. He wanted to do it now, but they couldn't do it here, plus they didn't have much time right now. "Neela…" he started, wanting to tell her they should leave and call security. After they did that, he wanted to talk to her.

She looked back into his eyes as he said her name. She thought she saw him look past her and somewhere else out of the corner of his eye, but she wasn't sure. He suddenly started acting a little odd. Noticing that he wasn't doing it anymore, she waited for him to finish what he was going to say, but he surprised her by pushing her to the side and onto the floor. He didn't do it violently, but that didn't mean that it wasn't still on the rude side. What was that about? Had he actually just pushed her onto the floor? Ray had never seemed like the violent type. He hadn't hurt her, but why would he do that to her after what she just went through? The initial shock wearing off, she looked up just in time to see the man stabbing Ray in the stomach. Neela watched in horror. Ray must have noticed that the patient had regained consciousness and didn't want to scare her. He had seen him coming with the knife. That made sense since the man had been behind her the whole time. That was why he had pushed her out of the way.

The man quickly ran out of the room while Neela was still sitting on the floor. Ray looked at her for a second before he collapsed onto the floor, landing hard on his back. She was at his side in an instant. "Ray" she said, her voice cracking. She put her hand to his face and then said "Ray, look at me. Please." The tears started to spill over even faster. Every time she had thought things were going to be fine or that they had gotten better, they had actually only gotten worse instead.

He held his hand to his stomach and looked at her with his eyes half open. If he died, then at least the last face he would ever see would be hers.

She put one hand on his chest, while the other hand was still on his cheek and said "You're going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok" she told him, trying to convince herself of it, too. She got up and ran to the door, pushing it open like a maniac and shouted "I need help in here! Please?!" Several people looked and started making their way over. She went back and sat next to him again, this time taking his hand in hers. She felt comforted when she felt him give her hand a gentle squeeze. He still had life in him somewhere.

He had seen the man moving around from the corner of his eye. He didn't want to tell Neela because she had already been through enough as it was. He also made sure the patient didn't know, too. He had seen him stand back up with the knife in his hand, getting ready to stab Neela. He wished he could have been able to save the both of them, but the guy was coming too fast and Ray only had enough time to save one of them. He felt bad for pushing her onto the floor, but it was just a reflex. She would have gotten stabbed instead if he hadn't done it. If he had to choose between the two of them who got to live, it would always be her. Of course it was her, and if he could do it again, he wouldn't have done it any differently. He had risked his own life to save her, and he didn't regret it for a second.

The last conscious thought Ray had was that he had done what he came in there to do. He had saved her and protected her. Twice. The last thing he thought before everything went black was that at least it had been him, and not her.

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A/N: I've never done suspense before, but I like it!! Hope I'm writing it ok!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!! Please review!


	12. If Today Was Your Last Day

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I do not own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music mentioned. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! I love to hear from all of you!!

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Neela watched in shock as Ray laid before her unconscious, he was dying right in front of her. It was like a bad dream. She wished this was a dream. She wanted to wake up and find that none of this had actually happened. But it was. All of it.

Abby, Sam, and Morris all ran into the room after Neela had called for help. They were in shock when they saw who was laying on the ground next to her, the pain they felt obvious on their faces. All of them hurriedly lifted Ray off the ground and onto the gurney, and wasted no time as they started hooking him up to machines and an IV.

"What happened?" Morris asked Neela as he started to cut open his shirt.

"One of my patients stabbed him" she replied, not really wanting to get into the whole story right now. They didn't have time. They needed to focus on Ray. She'd explain later.

She felt the tears spilling over even faster now as she started to wipe them away with her hands. Just a few weeks ago she had been foolish enough to think that he didn't care about her, or at least that he didn't respect her. Now he was laying on that table, for _her_. She had to save him. She didn't care how long it would take, she was going to save him. There was no way she was going to let him die. She didn't even want to think of the possibility of having to spend the rest of her life without him. That was not a possibility.

"He's lost a lot of blood" Abby said sadly. Neela looked at Abby knowing what she said was the truth. A brief flash of agony and torment passed over her face. No, he wasn't going to die. He was **not** going to die. She grabbed the other syringe that she had originally gotten for the rest of the drugs she was going to give to Mr. Murphy. Neela started to fill the syringe with meds. She sniffled as the tears kept falling from her eyes. It took her longer than usual because of her blurry eyesight, but she was finally able to get the dosage she wanted.

"Pupils are fixed and dilated" Morris said, more to Neela than to anyone else. Of course everyone knew it was affecting her in a different way then the rest of them. It was one thing having to work on someone you worked with and were friends with. Having to work on someone who was as close to you as she was with Ray was another situation. They couldn't imagine how hard this must have been for her. If that wasn't bad enough, the whole thing had happened right in front of her.

She held the syringe close to Ray's arm, getting ready to inject him. Her hand held onto it so tight that if it were any tighter there was a possibility she could split it in two. Going painfully slow, she felt her body start to tremble involuntarily. She had been crying this entire time. She closed her eyes. She wanted to save him. She was determined to. She had to. She had to find a way, but it was too much.

She started to sob, frustrated with herself because she wanted to help him. She couldn't do it. It was Ray. It was _Ray_.

Abby stood next to her and placed her hands onto Neela's shoulders. "Neela, sweetie, you shouldn't be in here. Let's go outside" she whispered kindly, offering to wait outside with her.

Neela finally opened her eyes and looked down at him. It was heartbreaking to see him like this. He had tubes up his nose, blood all over him, and was hooked up to machines, but she wasn't leaving. Even though seeing him like this was painful, it would be even more painful if she left. She shook her head quickly and said through her sobs "No." While she was weak and fragile, the determination was evident in her voice. "I can't leave him. I won't" she said, with everyone in the room looking at her.

"You can't do this." Neela knew that. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't do this, but she still couldn't bring herself to leave. "I'm sorry but, you can't help him like this." She kept staring at Ray. She lost him before and then it started to feel like he was going to be back in her life again, only to have him taken away from her again. She would rather it had been the way it was before, with him avoiding her. Anything was better than this. "It's ok" Abby assured her.

She was right. There was nothing she could do for him. If she couldn't help, then she would just be in the way, and she wouldn't be leaving, she would just be outside the door. Neela sadly nodded her head to show she agreed. Abby took the needle out of her hand and placed it onto the tray, before she helped her out of the room. They made sure to open the blinds before they left so they could look inside.

Watching them work on Ray, Neela said "It happened right in front of me. I watched him get stabbed, and I didn't try to stop it. I just sat there." It was her fault. This whole thing was her fault. She felt so guilty.

Abby looked at her, feeling so bad for her. How could she think that? "It wasn't your fault" she placed a hand on her shoulder as Neela looked into the window with a glazed, almost hypnotized look "There was nothing you could have done." If the man had a knife, then what could she have done? She hadn't been there, but she knew if there was any way Neela could have helped, she would have.

The tears kept falling, which was beyond her control now. "He's bleeding to death, and I couldn't do anything to help him" she said, talking about how she couldn't bring herself to help him just now because it was too heartbreaking for her.

"That's not your fault either. You couldn't help him because he means so much to you." She tried to get some sense into her. She was already worried about Ray, the last thing she needed was to make herself feel worse by blaming herself for it.

Of course she was right. Again. Ray was her best friend. She wouldn't just stand back and watch something bad happen to him. There was nothing she could have done. She didn't know what had happened until it was too late. But since he had been found as soon as he did, he had a better chance. Thanks to her. Maybe she had helped…hopefully.

Abby and Neela watched as they started wheeling Ray out of the exam room. They both moved out of the way as they started going through the door.

"He needs to go up to surgery" Sam explained to the two of them.

They walked towards the elevator. She went for his hand again as they walked, taking it in hers she immediately noticed how cold it felt. The surgery should take a few hours, if there were no complications.

A bittersweet smile came to her face as she started to remember the day she saw him for the first time. She had been talking to Abby, when she heard someone talking and turned around to see him popping his head around the doorway. He hadn't even been talking to her, but she still remembered being so intrigued by him. He came in a suit looking very professional, but from what she had heard, he hadn't been the only one to show up at County like that on their first day. Why anyone would get dressed up to treat sick people was beyond her. It was such a stark contrast when he showed up only a few days later looking completely different; eyeliner, nail polish, tattoos. In her opinion, Weaver had actually let him off really easy. She never understood why he made such a drastic transformation, and she couldn't come up with any other reason than that he must have been doing everything he could to ensure he got the job.

He had always come off as this really cocky, arrogant hotshot whose sole purpose in life was to piss her off. The first few weeks she knew him, she didn't think she would ever like him, let alone be friends with him. Not that she hated him. She could never hate him. It seemed like such a long time ago. Things were so different now.

As they were walking towards the elevator, Neela was suddenly approached by a police officer. "Dr. Rasgotra?" he asked.

"Yes?" She affirmed, but asked as more of a question to find out what he wanted. She didn't have the time to deal with this right now. If she just answered his questions quickly she could leave. Or hopefully answer them later if she had to.

"I need to ask you a few questions. It's about your patient Mr. Murphy…" he told her very serious and straight laced.

How did the police know? Ray came in and they were about to call someone but, then everything happened and they never got a chance to, and after that her mind had been on other things. She knew Ray hadn't told them, and she didn't tell them, so who did? "How did you…?" she started only to have her question answered before she could finish.

"We called" Morris told her. It was the least they could do, they knew Neela had more important things to worry about. She had seen them go over to the phone for a bit, but she just figured it had been to call up to surgery.

"We have a man in our custody who we believe to be the suspect" he said, looking solely at Neela.

Morris and Sam continued their path to the elevator. Time was precious. The sooner he got to the OR, the better. Neela watched as they went passed, wanting to finish this conversation as fast she could so she could be with Ray.

"We need you to give us an ID and a statement." It didn't take long after Morris and Sam had called to find him. He was dumb enough to try to hide in the hospital, and even dumber still that he still had the knife with him.

She looked at him in confusion as her head started to spin. Not even an hour ago she didn't even know who Mr. Murphy was, she was getting ready to leave so she could go home to rest, and Ray was fine. It was all happening so fast. She couldn't deal with all of this, not by herself. She was glad Abby was there, but she wasn't Ray. He was the only one who could help her.

Abby looked at her and could tell how she was feeling. She shook her head and replied for Neela after she still hadn't said anything "Can it wait? Now's not a good time."

She looked at Abby and did her best to give her a little smile, she was glad she had stayed with her. True, she wanted Ray of course, but Abby was still her friend. She was helping her more than she realized. She didn't know what she would do if she wasn't there with her. Just the fact that she didn't have to be alone was something in itself.

The officer understood because he knew the one who had gotten stabbed was one of their fellow colleagues, but that was it. The rest he knew was just about what had went on in the room, but even then he didn't know everything.

He nodded his head and agreed. He dealt with situations like this all the time, sometimes people didn't want to be bothered right then and wanted to talk about it later. Before he could walk away though, Neela saw Mr. Murphy being escorted out of the hospital by two other policemen, one on each side of him.

She watched him the entire time with burning anger in her eyes. Neela had never felt this way before. She remembered the look she had seen on Ray's face earlier, the one with so much malice and enmity. She understood how he felt now. This wasn't just dislike for someone, which she did feel for some people. This was sheer and outright hatred. Every day for her was about saving or preserving life. It was her career. He was the only person she had ever met in her whole life she actually wanted to be dead.

The policemen walked with him towards the entrance so they could take him outside. Her eyes still on him, she said with determination and fire "That's him" telling the cop, since he had said he wanted her to make a positive ID. That was one less thing she needed to worry about.

"Are you sure?" he asked, even though he was almost certain she was. They had found him in the hospital. It would have been unlikely it wasn't him, but it was his job to make sure.

"Positive" she said in the same tone she had before, but this time with confidence. She faced him, then said "I'll give you a statement later." She still didn't want to do this right now. Not without knowing if Ray was going to be ok or not. "Whatever you need from me, I'll do it." With Ray the way he was, she was the only one who could help for the time being, and she was going to do everything she could to make sure that jerk got what he deserved.

After he thanked her and left, Neela and Abby got into the elevator to go up to surgery.

"Are you ok?" Abby asked her, not talking about Ray, but about what just happened. She had never seen her look that way before, the look on her face was enough to scare her.

"I'm better. _Now_" she emphasized, letting her know she felt better knowing the guy who had done this wasn't still on the loose somewhere.

They stepped into the surgical room where there was a huge glass wall so they could watch the entire thing. Only doctors were allowed in here. They had already started working on him when they came in and sat down. Minutes seemed to go by like hours. Every time they treated a patient like this, this was what their loved ones had to go through. How did they stand it? She always felt compassion and empathy for them before, some more so than others, but now unfortunately she understood exactly what it was like.

Neither one of them said a word for what seemed like an eternity. Abby put her arm around her in the hopes that it would at least make her feel a little better and feel comforted. She got that same look on her face as before. The look where her face started to glaze over, like she was having an out of body experience, almost like it was happening to someone else. She didn't know if she was in shock or denial or what, or if her mind was still trying to process it all.

The tears started falling from her face again, and she felt Abby tighten her arm slightly. She didn't think she had ever cried this much in her life. She closed her eyes and used both her hands to cover her face as her whole body started to tremble. The past few hours had finally come crashing down on her all at once while she listened to the slow beeping coming from the monitor. He wasn't going to die, he _couldn't_. Not now. Not with the way things were between them. She would never be able to forgive herself. Abby pressed her head gently against Neela's. She wasn't really sure what to say to her right now, nothing she could say would make her feel better, but words weren't necessary. She didn't know where all of this had come from or why but it had been building up inside of her all this time until it got to the point where she couldn't hold it in any longer.

Her mind couldn't stop reminiscing over the time they had spent together. He's laying there, possibly dying, and she couldn't stop thinking about some of the times they shared. How much she missed him over these past few weeks, about the way she felt then was nothing compared to the way she felt now, about how much he meant to her and she couldn't lose him. It might have been selfish, especially after what he just did, but she didn't care.

She thought about the day she agreed to move in with him. Thinking it was a bad idea at first, and that she would regret it somehow. She did when she first moved in, but after a while she knew it was quite possibly the smartest decision she ever made. But maybe in a way right now, she did regret it just a little. If she hadn't moved in then he probably wouldn't be laying on that table. Maybe he would, she didn't know. Ray was the kind of person who would risk himself for anyone he knew or cared about, but even more so for her. He let her live with him when she had nowhere else to go, even though he hadn't known her for very long, he still cared about her enough to make sure she was ok.

She was forced out of her thoughts as one of the surgeons came to the intercom and said "He's going to be fine. We're just finishing up." Neela smiled through her tears as she felt all the fear and sadness vanish from her in an instant. Abby quickly reached over and pulled her into a hug. As Neela lifted her arms and returned the embrace, she let out a relieved sigh before a soft laugh escaped her lips as she realized he was going to be ok. "You can see him in a few minutes."

Her face still wet from the tears she had shed from earlier, she lifted her hand and wiped herself dry. She kept telling herself over and over he was going to be fine, that he had to be, but somewhere in the back of her mind was the nagging uncertainty and fear that wouldn't go away. To say she felt better would be a gross understatement. It would take him some time to get better, but at least there was no lasting damage. If the guy had stabbed him just an inch away from where he had, Ray would have bled to death instantly. He was really lucky.

As they were making their way out, Neela excused herself to the bathroom. She stood there for a bit and took a few slow, deep breaths to calm down and regain her sanity. She had experienced virtually every emotion possible today. When she looked in the mirror, she noticed she looked like a complete mess. Her eyes were red and puffy. She had faint traces of mascara on her cheeks. She couldn't let him see her like this. Yes, they lived together and he had seen her look worse than this before, like when she had just gotten out of bed or when she was sick. It might have seemed silly, but she didn't want him to see her like this when he woke up. It wasn't about vanity or being superficial.

She turned on the water and splashed some onto her face, the coolness of it helping to calm down her nerves. She could always talk to Ray, it had never really been an issue between them, but what was she going to say to him? No one had ever done anything like this for her before. If it wasn't for him, she would probably be dead. How was she supposed to put that into words? How was she going to tell him how she felt? There was nothing she could do to repay him.

She grabbed some paper towels from the container and wiped off her face, removing all her makeup. It was smudged and runny so it didn't serve a purpose anymore, other than to make her look worse. She scrubbed the hint of mascara off her cheeks. She didn't care less about not having any makeup on. She was too exhausted and had been through too much today to care.

She walked out to rejoin Abby, who was nice enough to wait for her while she was in the bathroom.

"When you were gone, I found out he's in room 3" she told her. Abby had quickly went to find out, they really needed to know, when Neela had been pulling herself back together just now in the restroom.

"Great. Thank you."

Of course, they both knew exactly where that was and started making their way towards it. There was no way he would be awake yet because of all the drugs they no doubt had given him before the surgery. Which was ok with her. She couldn't wait. Asleep or not, she had to see him now.

Walking in, she saw what she already knew affirmed. He was, indeed, still asleep.

Turning to Abby, she gave her a hug before she said "Thank you for staying. I want some time with him." She appreciated her staying the whole time, especially when she was supposed to be working. Neela knew Abby would have to stay longer now to make up her shift, but it wasn't personal. She simply wanted some time with him, even if he was asleep.

Abby returned her embrace, hugging her for the second time today. She giggled at her polite way of telling her to basically 'Get lost' so she could be alone with Ray. "Sure" she replied, before turning and walking out. It didn't hurt her feelings. She didn't mind and she completely understood.

Neela grabbed the chair that had been next to the one of the walls and set it next to his bed. Sitting down, she looked at him as his face was pointed in her direction. He wasn't going to be waking up any time soon. He was really out of it and would be asleep for at least a couple of hours. If she had been in his position, would she have done the same thing? She placed an arm onto the bed, propping herself up. Yes, she would. In a second. One of the first things she thought when it happened was how she wished it had been her instead. It was supposed to be her. He was willing to die for her and she wouldn't give him anything less if she was ever in that kind of situation.

She blinked slowly, her eyelids feeling heavier now, as her entire shift started to catch up with her. She was determined to be here the moment he woke up, but she didn't know how much longer she could keep her eyes open. She reached forward to gently hold his hand. There was so much she wanted to say to him. How could she have even thought she didn't mean anything to him? She shook her head slowly. She had been so stupid. But their friendship was still every bit as important to her as it was then.

Neela whispered softly "I'm so sorry, Ray. I'm so sorry" which was all she could think of to say to him, even though she knew he couldn't hear. Something about saying it out loud was important to her. Lifting his hand, she brought it to her mouth and kissed it softly. He was going to be spending the next month or so recovering. She needed to be strong, for him. He needed her now more than ever.

She looked at him one last time before she rested her head down on the bed. He wasn't going to wake up for a while, so it would be ok to get some rest. If she stayed awake, there would be nothing for her to do, he was asleep. Except maybe sit and stare at him. She closed her eyes. After a few minutes, she drifted off for some much needed sleep.

Neela kept remembering the little things about him. How he always cooked her something to eat when she got home, how he would make sure to save her some hot water before she took a shower, how he turned the heater up a little higher even though it was always too hot for him because he knew she was always so cold. One time he went to the store in the middle of the night for her, somewhere around 3 or 4 in the morning, after she told him she didn't have any tequila. She never forgot that. It was so thoughtful and unselfish. Crazy, but unselfish.

She opened her eyes again to see him still sleeping. How long had she been asleep? She checked her watch. It had been over two hours. She was still very tired, but he wasn't awake yet so she was glad she decided to rest. He had a little more color than he did earlier, and he looked so peaceful laying there. Hopefully he would be awake soon. He should be. She still had to go give her statement to the policemen. That had escaped her entirely until now. That was hours ago. But she promised herself she would be here when he woke up. It would have to wait. She didn't know for how long, at least until after she got to talk to him.

Finally, she noticed as he started to stir slightly. Getting up from her chair, she whispered his name as she leaned over the bed. She didn't know if he was waking up or just fidgeting in his sleep, but just seeing him move filled her with so much excitement and eagerness. He slowly started to open his eyes, the pain killers and sedatives still coursing through his body. Where was he? He was in County. And who was it that was calling him? It sounded like Neela, he was almost sure of it but couldn't be positive. Usually he would be able to tell instantly but the drugs seemed to be clogging his brain. He couldn't think.

"Hi" she gave him a warm smile as the tears started to collect again, so close to spilling over, but not quite. Only this time if they did it would be out of pure joy.

He opened his eyes a little bigger, not only did everything look on the blurry side, but his eyes were adjusting to the light. He was able to see her standing there after a moment. He had been right. It was Neela. "Hey" he mumbled.

"How do you feel?" she asked, genuinely concerned and wanting to talk to him so badly.

"I don't really know." That probably sounded ridiculous, but all the medicine they had pumped into him did this. He didn't know how he was feeling because he honestly didn't feel anything. Well, no pain at least. For now. In actuality, how he was feeling wouldn't really hit him until after the painkillers wore off.

She was a doctor, she knew what he meant. This was what she saw every day. She was glad he wasn't in any pain. "You were really lucky. You should be able to go home in a week" she said with enthusiasm and happiness. She had missed talking to him so much, but she wasn't going to push him, especially at a time like this. "Weaver gave you a month of sick leave, and me a week so I can stay home to look after you." Their time off would start after he got out of the hospital of course. She was really looking forward to the time they were going to get to spend together. Of course, she wished they could spend it together under better circumstances, but she would take what she could get. At a time like this, after they hadn't talked to each other or even seen that much of each other for several weeks, they were going to need it.

He looked at her a little confused as he tried to process everything she just said. It was a lot to take in. "What?" he asked, almost like he wanted her to repeat it again. It was either that or he didn't understand what she was talking about. Maybe she should tell him again later after he woke up a little more.

"I'm going to help you recover when we get home" she said again, his reaction making her feel uneasy. Did he not want her to help him? She worried that maybe he didn't feel comfortable with it or that he had some lingering resentment.

"Neela, what are you talking about? You're making no sense. You and I don't live together" he told her quickly, looking at her like she was the one who didn't know what she was talking about. He was too tired and out of it and had too many drugs in his system to do their friendly teasing and bickering that had become a normal routine for them. He just hoped she knew that.

She started to laugh, thinking he was joking at first, until she saw the serious look on his face. He wasn't joking, he was being serious. This was weird. What was going on? Maybe something had gone wrong during his surgery. No, he must have been doing that thing where he acts like he's serious but really doing it as a joke to tease her. She hated whenever he did that. "Yes, we do. We've lived together for over a year and a half, Ray" she assured him, hoping he was just doing this as a joke. A joke which she didn't find funny in the least and would be sure to talk to him about later for being inconsiderate of her feelings and finding something like this funny.

"No" he said confidently, still with the same expression, like he thought she was talking nothing but nonsense "You live with Abby."

Yeah, she did before they lived together. She couldn't understand why he would do this to her when he had to have known what she just went through. To tease about them not living together was just plain mean. She looked at him and saw the expression on his face. He wasn't teasing her or trying to be funny. He really was being serious.

Her heart skipped a beat and all the blood escaped from her face as it suddenly dawned on her. She felt like she had just leapt off a 50 story building as she remembered how hard Ray had hit his head when he landed on the floor after he was stabbed.

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A/N: I hope you liked it! Please review!!

I'm not too sure about this chapter and it seems a bit rushed to me. I had a lot to cover, and I thought of splitting it into two chapters but I really didn't want to. What do you guys think of it?


	13. Standing Still

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I do not own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music mentioned. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews!!

Sorry it took me so long to update, but life has been busy lately. Every time I wanted to sit down and write this chapter, something always seemed to come up. But I want to let you all know that I haven't forgotten about this fic, and that it will get finished. Since I'm still not sure how many chapters are left, I have no idea when that will be, and I still have several ideas for this story. So please keep reading!!

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A week later, Neela was staring into the window of the door that looked into Ray's room. He was asleep and she didn't want to disturb him. Plus she needed to stand for a little while. Her legs were starting to hurt from sitting in that awful chair next to his bed for so long.

He was supposed to be getting released today. She hoped. Sometimes things happened at the last minute and then they decided to keep the patients a little longer. Neither she or Ray would be able to take much more of him having to be in the hospital. Not only was it mind numbingly boring, especially for Ray, but she hated having to see him like that. After all, no one in their right mind wanted to have to stay in a hospital, he would do much better at home.

The past week had gone by like sort of a blur. All of this still felt like a dream. Like one of those dreams that feels so real, but then when you wake up from it you're so relieved that it was just a dream. The kind of dream you were glad to wake up from.

She was still standing there watching him sleep when Abby came and stood next to her. Neela didn't know she was there until she started talking. "How is he?" she asked gently, not wanting to startle her because from the look on her face it seemed like her mind was off somewhere else. Abby tried to visit at least once a day, not just to see how Ray was doing, but also to be there for Neela.

"Much better" she said with a blank look on her face, not turning to look at her when she gave the response.

"Has he remembered anything?" she asked, realizing that Neela had been talking about his physical state when she answered the question. She didn't think anything had changed from yesterday, but it didn't hurt to ask.

The sadness came back onto Neela's face. It took her a moment to finally respond, the answer should have been obvious from the way she was acting, but she did it anyway "No" she responded quietly, undoubtedly hurt by the fact that Ray couldn't remember any of the time they had spent together as roommates.

"A majority of people that have amnesia get their memory back" she told her, even though Neela was a doctor and there wasn't really any need to, but she was her friend and wanted to keep her thinking positively.

"But nothing is guaranteed" she finished for her. Ray had severe retrograde amnesia, which meant that he still remembered things that had happened when he was young, but not things that had happened before the accident. In Ray's case, he had no memory of the past year and half of his life, and he also sometimes had difficulty remembering things that happened this past week.

She knew it was beyond his control, but she was still hurt that Ray had forgotten a good majority of the time they had spent together. Physically, he was doing much better than he had been, but mentally, he was still in the same place as he was before. The mind could be very unpredictable, and not everyone could have the same response. She had seen some get their memory back right away, while others took months or even years. There was no way of knowing when or how, or even if it would happen to him.

"I'm sorry" was all she could say. Abby couldn't lie to her and tell her she was wrong when she knew it just as well as she did.

"I don't know. I'm trying so hard, but it feels like it's not going anywhere. I can't go forward, but I also can't go back" she told her, trying to explain how she felt. She could feel the tears starting to come back in the corners of her eyes, but she wasn't crying. Yet. "He's here, but it's like he isn't." That was probably really confusing, but it made sense to her. "It's like he's someone else, like he isn't Ray" she mumbled quietly in a sad tone. To her, it was starting to feel like he was a stranger. It wasn't the same between them like it had been when they lived together. Before all the awkwardness obviously. It felt like it did when he had just come to County and they were more like acquaintances rather than friends.

"In a way, it feels almost as if he did…" she couldn't even finish the sentence as she started to lose her voice.

Abby looked at her and could tell what it was she was about to say, "Die?" she finished for her.

Neela finally looked at her. She couldn't say anything, all she did was start nodding her head slowly. No, she couldn't think like that. He hadn't died, he was alive. She had been thinking that having him this way was just as bad as him being dead. He wasn't dead, that was all that mattered. It would take some time, but he would eventually be fine physically. She would do whatever she could during their time together to try to help him remember. He was still here, and asking more than that right now would be too much and be selfish. She couldn't expect more than that. She should be grateful. Things could have been a lot worse.

Abby reached out and pulled her into an embrace. She wished she could have been there for her more than she had this week, but she was glad she had been there with her when it had happened. Neela put on a brave face in front of Ray, but deep down she was an emotional wreck. "He's going to be ok." Abby held onto her tightly for a few moments, trying to get her to cheer up. At least she had been better than she was when Abby first came down. She was looking at her and talking now. That was some improvement.

Neela pulled away and sniffled as she felt a small tear fall down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. Ray would do better at home than he would here. If there was any place that would help him get back to normal, it was home. It would take longer than a week, but he would be well enough to at least take care of himself by the time she had to go back to work. Which didn't mean that she wouldn't still be worried, but at least she would be better than she was now.

The two of them started staring into the window again. She didn't know how she was going to be like when he was home. She was glad he was going home, but why did she feel a little sad about it? Shouldn't she be happy? She was happy, but having to go back there after all the time they had spent there together, and now with him the way he was, she was dreading it as much as she was looking forward to it.

Abby turned to her and said in a kind tone "The point is that he didn't. He's alive and he's really lucky. He doesn't remember right now, but that doesn't mean he will always be that way" she told her as she faced her. Ray hadn't been the only one who wasn't like himself this week. Neela had been like a ghost. Abby had never seen her this way. She knew there was nothing she could say or do that would change anything, but she couldn't help but try anyway. It's like when you do something and you know no matter how much you do it or even if you do it in a different way than you did before but it won't make any difference to the outcome and you do it anyway just because you have to try. "If anyone is going to bring his memory back, it's you" she whispered to her.

Neela didn't say anything to her. She nodded her head, silently agreeing with her. She was right. She had to be right, or at least she hoped she was. She knew him better than anyone, and he needed her right now. She would be the best person, perhaps the only person right now, who would be able to help him remember. With him in the hospital bed, this would probably be one of the last places that would do that. Down in the ER was better because he worked there, but home would be best. That was where they had spent most of their time together and that was most of what he had forgotten. Of course, it wasn't that she was being selfish and wanted to be the one who did this and didn't want anyone else to. She would just be glad that he was back. She didn't care how it happened or why, not that she wouldn't be happy if it did happen because of her help. She missed him so much. Even more than she had before. She didn't realize you could miss someone so much who was right there in front of you.

They stood there in silence for a few moments. Abby wasn't sure what was the right thing to say right now, but she didn't realize that she had already said it. She had already made her feel better. What Neela needed was someone who she could talk to about this, which she had already done. She couldn't talk to Ray about it. So once again, Abby had helped her more than she realized. All she needed was someone to talk to who would listen to how she felt and get it off her chest. She didn't need someone to tell her some insightful and profound words of wisdom.

"I forgot to ask you, did you ever talk to that cop?" she asked her. Neela had told the policeman she would give him her statement, but as far as she knew, she hadn't gotten around to it yet. She said she was going to, but she didn't know if she had yet. She hadn't talked her in a couple days. She had worked late the past couple nights. She had come down and seen Ray, but Neela hadn't been here because she was in the ER working. They had missed each other.

"I went the other night. When I was done, I came back here." It had been one of the nights she had missed Abby. She had just missed her by about 20 minutes, but Ray had told her about it when she came.

She had given her statement. Knowing they had gotten the guy who had done this to Ray helped, but it was still hard to talk about everything that happened and answer questions.

"Did it go ok?" She wasn't asking if they had believed her or not, but rather how it had been for Neela to basically have to relive something like that.

She could tell what Abby was really asking, and said "He asked me some questions, I gave him my statement, then I signed it. It was harder than I thought it would be, but if I don't do it, who will?" Neela crossed her arms as she continued to look at him through the glass. She had a lot more courage and strength then she gave herself credit for. If she didn't do it, then there wouldn't be anyone else. She had been the only person in the room besides Ray, and he couldn't do it. She couldn't let him down, she owed this to him, and he would have done the same for her.

Abby felt so bad she had to go through all this, but she was right. She was there for her, but without Ray to be a second witness, she was ultimately in this alone. "Are you going to have to testify?" There was a very good chance she was, she was the only witness at the moment.

"Yes. I have to go in a little over a week." They had enough to take him to trial, besides Neela's testimony, they also had the weapon. She hoped they had enough to convict him of attempted murder. She didn't know if they had any other evidence, she hadn't talked to the policemen or the lawyers that much yet. She hadn't had the time. She would worry about it later. She had told them a week and half because she was the only one who would be able to look after Ray. That was the soonest she could come, there was no way she would be able to come before that and she wasn't going to leave him alone.

"Is there anything I can do?" She felt so bad that she hadn't been there for her enough when she needed a friend the most. She was doing the best she could.

The truth was that Neela didn't really mind. She knew she was busy and she appreciated that she would even come at all after a long shift. It meant a lot to her that she would have a friend who would be there for her like that. "Can you go with me?" she mumbled quietly.

"Yes. Of course" she said with a smile, glad to help her out even it was something as easy as being there for moral support.

Neela didn't expect her to have to do anything for her. She knew this was something she had to do on her own, but when she did have to go on the stand, she didn't want to have to go by herself. Taking someone there with her, even if they were only sitting in the crowd, would be enough for her. She hadn't said anything about it to Ray. He knew what had happened to him, but she didn't talk to him about the trial. He didn't remember and she didn't want him to feel guilty that he couldn't help. He had enough to deal with right now.

"Thank you" she said with the faintest hint of a smile on her face. Abby would be the perfect person to take. She always seemed like she was so much more brave than Neela was. If she got scared, she would just remind herself why she was there. She was doing this for Ray. Nothing else mattered.

Abby noticed how exhausted she looked. "You look tired. You slept here again last night, didn't you?"

Blinking slowly and with small bags under her eyes, she said "Yes. I can't sleep in that apartment knowing he's here, but hopefully I will tonight." She had spent every night here with him, usually sleeping in the chair next to the bed. Or trying to. It wasn't easy trying to sleep in a chair. Especially in the ones they had here which weren't really that great to begin with. It was unbelievably uncomfortable, but she couldn't sleep anywhere else. She hadn't gotten much sleep in the past week, and she spent every moment she could with him. The only time she would go home was when she had to take a shower and change her clothes. The rest of the time she was either working, or in here with him. The thought of having to go home to an empty apartment or having to sleep there when he wasn't there was too depressing for her. She couldn't do it. It was their apartment. Not hers. Not His. But theirs. So, she spent as little time there as possible.

"He's going home today?" she asked, judging from what she had said about hopefully she would be able to sleep at home tonight.

Neela could see Abby's hopeful look out of the corner of her eye. She had felt the same way all week. Hoping that he would come home today. It had been a little more than a week, and now she wasn't too sure.

"Supposedly" she mumbled. While it was true she was a doctor and would be able to tell when and if he would be able to be released, but she only knew about his physical condition. Physically, yes, he was ready, but mentally could have been a totally different story. She was a doctor. Not a psychologist. She had seen it before. There had been patients who had been well enough to go home, but that weren't allowed to because they weren't ready or weren't stable enough. Not that Ray was unstable, but that still didn't mean his doctor would want him released today. "That's what everyone keeps saying."

They looked in and noticed that he was starting to wake up. Neela let out a breath to try to relax a little before she opened the door as the two of them headed inside. She let Abby take the seat next to his bed, while she stood next to her.

He smiled when he saw the two of them, glad to be having some company. They had become close friends. Closer than Ray realized just yet, but of course not as close as he and Neela were. They all were in their same year of residency so they looked out for each other and understood what they had to go through. Like having to deal with endless hours and crazy attendings.

"Hey" he said to them with a smile, not directing it toward one over the other, but to both of them.

"Hi, Ray. You're actually awake" Abby teased him with a soft laugh. He hadn't been asleep every time she came, but he did sleep a lot which was normal for someone in his condition.

"It gets pretty boring if no one's here, so I go to sleep because there's nothing else to do" he said with a chuckle. If Neela was there, he would stay awake and talk to her, but sometimes he would occasionally nod off for a while. If there was no one there to talk to, then what else was there to do? And watching TV got so tedious after a while. There was only so many channels to watch. The TV in his room was off most of the time.

"How did you sleep?" Neela asked, even though she had watched him just now. She came after her shift and he had been sleeping this whole time.

"Good" he said as he let out a yawn, then raised the bed so he could sit up and look at them without having to angle his neck. "I'm ready to go home" he said it in a way that you could tell he was far passed ready and was sick of being in the hospital, which made the two of them start to laugh. "Did I miss the doctor?" If he had come when he was sleeping, that would have been just perfect. He waited for him all day. Then again if he had, then maybe he said he could go home, but he would have either been woken up or Abby and Neela would have told him when they came in.

"No. He hasn't come. We're still waiting" she said, feeling a little sad, too. She wanted him to get out of here today just as much as he did. He was supposed to be released a few days ago, but the doctor kept extending it, telling them he wasn't well enough to leave yet. Every day they would say maybe he could leave the next day. It was becoming a routine, but after three days Ray's patience was reaching a boiling point.

He laid his head back against the pillow and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pain he was starting to get in his head. His fall to the floor had given him a concussion, which was mainly responsible for his memory loss, too. He brought his hand to his head and covered his eyes, trying to block the light, which was making his headache even worse. What he wouldn't give for a power outage right now.

Neela walked closer and stood next to him. "You getting another headache?" she asked softly, knowing that he would sometimes get some that would make him sensitive to sound. One time she had just asked him something, not loudly because she hardly ever talked that way, but asked him what was wrong when she saw his expression. All he told her was that she was talking too loud. She could never seem to be quiet enough.

"Yeah" he mumbled quietly with his eyes closed, still not wanting to open them. He hadn't even said anything about the pain he had in his head, but somehow she knew. He didn't always understand that because they were friends but not that close. In his opinion. Maybe he was more obvious than he thought, but from what she and everyone else kept telling him, she was his roommate.

Reaching over to the table next to his bed, she grabbed the small pitcher that had water in it and poured some in a plastic cup. She put her hand on his shoulder to get his attention and handed it to him. Turning around, she poured out a dose of one of his pain meds. After helping him take it, she threw the empty cup away in the trash.

He got headaches daily, even two or three on some days. Some of them were worse than others, and would occasionally turn into migraines. But the headaches would gradually lessen over time, and then should disappear completely.

She knew he would take a pill over an injection any time. Despite the fact that an injection would work faster. He would rather suffer through the pain than to have an injection. One thing he still had was his phobia of needles. She didn't know how he had survived in the hospital with them in his arm when he couldn't even stand to have a silly flu shot. Well, he didn't have a choice really. He needed it. There was no other way. He wouldn't be able to survive without them, so he must have just learned to deal with it.

He laid there and let the drugs take effect. They had him here to make sure he didn't go home until he was ready mentally. Which was weird because if he had to stay here for much longer, then he was going to start losing it, which would only make him stay longer. He was never going to get out of here. How do people who have to stay in the hospital all the time stand it?

Everyone looked when there was a sudden knock on the door.

"Hello" she said in a cheerful tone as she came in and started walking up to his bed "How are we feeling today?"

He let out a somewhat humorless chuckle. Was this what they sounded like to the patients? No wonder people hated going to the doctor so much. "Aside from getting stabbed, I've never been better" he replied back sarcastically. Pulling an attitude with the person who decided if you went home or not probably wasn't the best idea, but he had just been through a lot and now with the hard thumping in his head, he was allowed to be a little grouchy.

After asking him a few basic questions, she found that things hadn't really changed from before. Neela and Ray both worried even more now that they might want him to stay. They had hoped that they would see some change by keeping him here. He was still getting better even if it wasn't in the way they had been wanting. It wasn't like he wouldn't have the energy or the strength to be able to stay at home. They had removed the oxygen and the IV yesterday already and he was still fine. Basically the only thing he did here now was sleep. Was there something he did here that he couldn't do at home? Although, he did need help sometimes. He couldn't do too much. He would get weak and tired after exerting too much energy.

"The results from your CT and MRI show that there is no serious damage." She looked through his chart to make sure she hadn't missed or forgotten anything.

"So, does that mean I can go home?" he asked, wanting her to answer the only thing he wanted to know already, wishing she would say he could but not wanting to get his hopes up. Abby and Neela both listened carefully as they all waited in anticipation for her answer.

"Yes. I'm going to sign your release and your regular physician prescribed you more Topamax for your headaches. I'll need to have him sign your release as well, but we've already talked about it and you will be able to go home today."

"Thank you" he said happily with a big smile on his face, one that matched Neela's. It did catch them a little by surprise, not that they weren't happy about it. They had done everything they could to help him, but they wouldn't be able to do anything for him to get his memory back. There was no reason to have him stay. It wasn't a jail or prison. If Ray really wanted to go home then they couldn't keep him here. His mental state could have been better, but they had seen a lot worse. Some people would lose everything. Losing a year and half wasn't good either, but he did have most of it. Still wasn't good, but not as bad as it could have been.

"And when you get home try to do as many normal everyday things as you can. Just like you used to do" she made sure to tell him before she turned and made her way out.

He understood and nodded his head in agreement. As long as he got to go home he wasn't going to argue with her. There wasn't any medication they could give him to help his memory. There was one or two they had used on other patients before, but nothing had been proven it worked. The brain is so complex that it makes it difficult to prescribe anything for it in a situation like this.

Right after the psychologist left the room, Neela quickly went over and threw her arms around him, not able to contain herself any longer. He hadn't been expecting it and she had kind of come out of nowhere, but he did hug her back after the initial shock wore off. She knew he wouldn't fully understand what she was doing right now or what was going on to make her act this way, how close they actually were, but she couldn't help herself.

"I brought you a change of clothes" she said and went over to the other side of the room to get them for him. She hadn't known for sure if he would be coming home today, but Neela was always prepared just in case. What if something unexpected happened and she didn't have something important because she didn't think she would need it? She would be stuck. It was better to be over prepared than not prepared enough. So, she had made sure to bring some clothes for him before she left the house for work. Although he looked good in the gown, he would be more comfortable, and it would be more appropriate if he walked out in his own clothes. She had made sure to get him one of his favorite shirts, one that he wore a lot. She didn't know, it might help and it certainly didn't hurt to try. She was willing to try anything. She also brought a nice pair of jeans that she knew he really liked.

He took the bag from her with a smile, glad he finally had something to wear that wasn't open in the back. He couldn't believe he was actually going home. He had been here for so long. Actually it had only been a little over a week, but when you're in the hospital it always seemed like much, much longer. He excused himself to the bathroom to go change. He wanted to go in and do it before one of the doctor's came in and told him they changed their mind. He had to get out of here while the getting was good.

While he was gone, Neela and Abby started to collect all of his things; his toothbrush and toothpaste, the clothes he had worn that day, although they didn't look like they would be wearable anymore. He also had some get well cards from people at County who had come to visit him. Luka had come down, Morris, Pratt, and even Weaver stopped by before one of her shifts. The staff could drive each other crazy sometimes. The patients, and the inhumane hours they worked. All the stress. It could build up until you couldn't take it anymore, but there was no other group of people they would rather work with. If you needed them, you could always count on them no matter what. They protected each other and were there for each other.

Getting changed wasn't very easy. Neela usually offered to help him with things like this, but she had learned when he wanted to do things for himself. It wasn't that he didn't want her help, but he was never going to recover if she did everything for him. He smiled when he saw his shirt, one that he would wear to gigs. He couldn't remember when he had bought it, but he couldn't bear to part with it because it had a lot of sentimental value and brought back good memories. It was a dark blue band t-shirt with the words 'Rock On' written on the back of it. He felt a little dumb for getting so excited over just a t-shirt. Oh, well. Guess Neela did know him better than he thought. He started to put on the pants. Where had these come from? He didn't think he had ever seen these before. For a second he thought maybe she had bought them for him, but why would she do that? He couldn't even remember a stupid pair of jeans? He was hopeless. He was going to drive himself crazy trying to remember all of this.

He came out of the bathroom all dressed. It was kind of hard to tell he had spent all this time here. He was walking around and didn't appear to be injured. If you looked carefully, though, you could see he was still in pain.

Neela was closing up the bag after putting the last of his things in before she looked up and saw him walking towards her. She gave him a smile, happy to see him like this again. Now he was beginning to look more like the old Ray. "Ready?" she asked him, to which he didn't say anything in response but only smiled at her, figuring that would be enough to answer her question. Either his headache was gone now, or being able to go home was making him not pay attention to it.

Maybe she could ask Weaver for an extra week of leave just to be sure. He could use her help. He wasn't going to be well after only a week. It was going to take longer than that. What had she been thinking? Of course, that was before things had gotten complicated. She had felt a lot better about just a week then. He wasn't going to be working until who knows when, and it had just been her working for a week and a half. This week, they would both be home. Neither of them would be working. She was was starting to get worried. She couldn't take off another week as much as she wanted to. They couldn't afford it. She didn't know if they would be able to afford a week even, but they had no choice. She would have to make sure to do some double shifts when she came back, she hadn't done any this past week. Her mind had been on other things. She would come up with the money somehow. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about this. She didn't want to ruin this for herself or Ray.

Neela carried his stuff for him so he wouldn't have to as the three of them walked slowly out of the room. She didn't feel he should have to carry it in the condition he was in.

They went up to the desk to wait for the papers to get signed so he could leave.

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A/N: Please review!! And I promise you guys won't have to wait as long for the next chapter!

Glad you guys liked the ending of the last chapter. I wanted to have something a little different. Most stories I've read always have one of our roomies just magically get better after getting shot or hurt or whatever it is, and to me that's not very realistic. I didn't originally intend to have it be the way it was, but like I said, this story has taken on a life of it's own!


	14. New

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I do not own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music mentioned. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! Sorry it took me a while again, but things will be getting back to normal in a few weeks, and I will be able to update sooner.

But at least I kept my promise about updating this chapter sooner. I know it wasn't by that much, but it still has to count for something, right?

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The three of them walked out the door of the hospital an hour later. They spent part of it waiting for the doctors to finish signing the papers. Why did just being released take a long time? Hopefully the patients didn't always have to wait that long, but most of it had been spent in the ER with everyone wanting to talk to Ray and telling him things like how they couldn't wait for him to get back to work and the such.

He didn't know when he would be well enough to come back, but he hadn't even left yet and they were already trying to get him back in? He loved being a doctor and working where he did, but right now he was sick of this place. He had to get out of here for a while. Maybe he wouldn't feel like that after being home for several weeks.

While he couldn't remember living with her, at least the satisfaction of knowing Neela would be there helped put his mind at ease. Not that he would need help with everything, but it was a comfort to know that if something did happen he wouldn't be by himself.

She was willing to take a week off of work, so they had to be closer than he had thought. He just wished he could remember. It felt like there was this whole other life that he had lived that he knew nothing about. Like when you're trying to think of something and can't remember the name of it, even though you know for sure that you do, or at least that you had once before. There were so many things he had done, places he'd gone, moments he had had that he couldn't remember. Like they had never happened.

They stood at the end of the street as they tried to call a taxi, thinking that would be the best thing to do right now. Ray's car was back at the apartment and he never wanted her to drive it, something she always took offense to. She wasn't a bad driver, he was just uptight when it came to his car. He would really irritate her when she drove, telling her she was going too fast or too slow or whatever little thing it was. Then when she would slow down or speed up like he wanted after that, he acted like he was having some sort of conniption or panic attack and tell her that now she was driving too slow or too fast. She could never seem to satisfy him. So to keep her sanity she didn't drive his car. It was better that way. She guessed Ray didn't like anyone driving his car other than himself.

A taxi finally pulled up next to them and Neela opened the door for him so he could get in.

He turned to Abby and gave her a friendly smile as Neela started putting his bags into the back seat. While him and Abby had gotten off to a shaky start at first, actually he had gotten off to a shaky start with virtually everyone when he arrived, he did like Abby and consider her one of his friends.

"Let her help you when you get home, Ray" she said in a lower tone so Neela wouldn't hear "or I'll chase after you with a syringe" she added to lighten the mood a little.

Which she did. He let out a laugh, knowing she was only joking with him. He hated when people were so serious when they would talk to him about what happened. He realized what happened to him was serious, but was it so hard for everyone to loosen up a little? He had amnesia, he wasn't dying.

"No more sharp objects for a while, ok?" he replied back, but after she had stuck him out of nowhere that one time, he probably shouldn't put it passed her. He hadn't been expecting it. He didn't want to think of her coming after him with something else when he wasn't looking if he didn't listen to her.

She gave him a small smile and stepped forward so she could wrap her arms around him, which he reciprocated. Even though Ray could get under your skin sometimes, he did grow on you after a while. No matter how much you tried to fight it.

Neela turned back around right when they were starting to pull away from each other. She hadn't heard what they were talking about, but was pretty sure she had heard them laughing. She was somewhat curious, but she had the feeling they weren't talking about her so she wasn't going to ask. She was glad the two people that were most important to her got along with each other.

They got out of the way so Ray could get into the car. He did it slower than usual obviously, but they weren't in any hurry. The round of medications they had given him still hadn't worn off yet, but she could tell that just getting into the back seat was a mild struggle. Not that it was anything to worry about. She would have to make sure to go to the pharmacy later that day. She didn't want to make him go with her when the ride home would most likely leave him exhausted.

After shutting the door for him, they walked over to the other side and faced each other.

Neela didn't know exactly what to say to her. Abby was one of her very good friends, and she didn't know what to say? There were two people she could talk to when she couldn't talk to anyone else, and Abby was one of them. In a way, she hated times like this when she was feeling too much to be able to put it into words. She didn't hate what she was feeling. She hated when she wanted to describe to whoever it was, everything she wanted them to know and couldn't. She didn't know where she would be if it hadn't been for Abby. She had been there for her more than anybody. Would she ever be able to repay her?

With a smile on her face, one that showed just how grateful she was, she told her "Thank you" and leaned forward to give her a tight hug, "For everything" she said softly and full of emotion, hoping she would understand everything she was trying to tell her.

Abby wrapped her arms around her as her mouth started to curl up into a smile. "I didn't do anything for you that you wouldn't have done for me" she told her honestly, knowing exactly what it was that Neela was trying to say. She didn't feel Neela owed her anything. She was just doing what any friend would have done. Besides, he wasn't just her best friend's friend. He was her friend, too. She had been worried about him just like everyone else was.

She held onto her for a few seconds longer. She didn't want to make Ray wait too long in his current state. He was understandably eager to go home.

They pulled back from each other and just before Neela opened the door so she could get in, Abby told her "Call me if you need anything" letting her know she was still here for her.

She didn't need to tell her that, but it was still nice to hear it out loud. Abby was already going to be covering a lot of her shifts while she was gone, and on top of that, she was offering to help her even more. She was making all of this a lot easier. She appreciated the offer, but she couldn't ask her to do any more than she already had done and was going to do. Not saying anything, Neela just gave her an appreciative smile. Since Abby knew what she meant before, with her being one of her best friends, she was sure she would understand that.

She got into the cab, with Abby closing the door for her after she got in. They both waved goodbye to her just before they started to drive away, and Abby gave them a quick wave in return also before they did so.

The El would be faster, but there was no way he was going up the long flight of stairs that led up to it. Not when he just stepped foot out of the hospital not 5 minutes ago. He preferred this. He wasn't really in the mood to most likely have to stand up the whole way home and be surrounded by a huge crowd of people trying to get on and off the subway. This would be a lot better.

She smiled at Ray as he told the driver the address. He didn't remember living with her, but at least he did remember where it was. She did realize he didn't have a complete and total loss of memory, but she still couldn't help but grasp onto what little hope she did have. It might have been crazy, but it was all she had left.

They sat there in silence for a few moments. Why were car rides always so quiet at times with no one in the car saying a word? Was it because people didn't know what to say to each other? People always daydreamed for some reason.

They had shared so many memories since they she had moved in, and some before that even. Where was she going to start? Would just telling him about it be enough? A lot of them she would love to tell him about, but others she obviously didn't want to talk about when she did everything she could not to even think about them. He did have a right to know about his own life, and she would remind him someday. She would tell him what happened in the hospital that day and why this happened to him, but not today. She didn't want to talk about the accident. It wasn't the right time, and she still wasn't ready to tell him about it yet.

She turned to him again and noticed he was staring out the window. She never usually had a problem being able to tell what he was going through. Most of the time she could tell when something was bothering him or when he needed or wanted something, but at the moment, she had no idea why he looked like that. He had such a serious look on his face and whatever he was thinking about, it was clearly taking up a good deal of his concentration. He was in so much of a daze that he wasn't even blinking his eyes. Was he asleep with his eyes open?

"Ray?" she questioned, checking to see if he would respond. When she saw him move his head a little, not looking at her, but still doing so in her general direction, she knew he had heard her. He must have done it to let her know that he was listening. "What are you thinking about?" she mumbled, she didn't want the driver to overhear their conversation.

It took a moment for him to respond and she wondered if he was going to answer her. He had still been in a fog and it took a second for him to pull himself out of it entirely. Shaking his head a little, he said in a way that almost scared himself "I'm looking at some of these places" referring to the stores and buildings they were passing "trying to remember if I've been to any of them. I was hoping they might help me get back something. Anything. Some of them look familiar and I know I've seen them before," that was when he finally turned his head all the way to the side to look at her, and finished defeatedly "but I honestly don't know."

She felt so bad for him. She didn't know how she would feel if it were her. He must have felt so lost. Looking him in the eye, she replied "I know it's frustrating, but you're only going to drive yourself crazy if you do that." It wasn't going to work that way. "Don't try to force it, just let it come to you" she said, trying to continue being optimistic. She wanted him to remember, too, but his way wouldn't make things any better. Sometimes when you try to remember something, it seemed irrational, but it's best not to think about it for a while and let it might come to you later. When you're not expecting it.

She could be right. It would come back when it was ready. But what if it didn't? He had no idea where he had been at this point in his life. Was he happy? Did he still have his band? He wasn't in his first year of residency, he was an R2 and would soon be an R3 even. He had just lost the last year and a half of his life.

No. Neela was right. He couldn't let himself dwell on these things. He still had a lot to be grateful for. He looked at her again and gave her a small nod of agreement. Ray wasn't always the most patient person. His life was always fast and intense, but these kind of things took time. Something he would have to learn to get used to.

The taxi pulled up to their apartment and slowed to a stop. After paying the driver, she grabbed his things as the two of them got out.

Finally, he was back home. This was something he did remember. It wasn't exactly a five star hotel, but it was still home. They got onto the elevator, pressing the button for their floor. It was only a couple of flights, but if he walked up those, then he may as well have gone up the steps for the El. What would be the point?

The doors opened again not long after that. They made their way out and towards their apartment. She didn't think Ray had his key with him, so she started rummaging through her purse for hers. He would forget his key sometimes, and she would always have to let him in. She didn't like to leave a spare under the mat, or on top of the door-frame or on the light like a lot of people did. To her it was basically handing a burglar the key to your house. After she moved in, she was the one who encouraged him to get rid of it, telling him that she would make sure he had his key with him or to let him in if he needed her to. Anything but leaving a key to their apartment out in the hallway.

She found it when they had reached the front door. Taking it out, she unlocked the door and pushed it open, following him inside before pushing it shut.

He looked around the apartment for a second, scanning over everything like he was seeing it for the first time. He could tell not all of it was his. It seemed exactly the same and yet so different. It actually looked clean. She did live here. There was no clothes on the floor or the couch, and no trash on the coffee table. The place looked nice. Having a girl for a roommate might not be so bad after all.

But there was still something he didn't understand. Seeming confused, he asked, trying to figure this out "Were we dating?" It was something he had been meaning to ask her. She was with him at the hospital every day, had spent every night there. He could tell how much she cared about him. It was unlike anyone else did. That was the impression he had gotten seeing as how the signs appeared to say 'Yes', and they did live together. He wasn't sure if they were going out or if they were just living together as friends. Why would she be living with him if there wasn't something going on? It wasn't like she didn't have a place to live. Last he remembered she was staying with Abby.

"No" she told him quickly, as a brief flash of pain went across her face. It made her think about it, but she wasn't about to go on and say that they weren't, except for one night when they had both been really drunk. That would only mix him up even more.

He looked at her questioningly and waited for her to explain. He didn't understand. Then what happened with Abby?

"I was sleeping on Abby's couch every night and she wanted more time to herself." She kicked her out basically, but she didn't want to say that to him. She completely understood why and never blamed her. How could she after what happened to her? "Everything was either too expensive, or not suitable for human occupancy" she still couldn't believe some of the places she had seen. How could people live in places like that? If he hadn't taken her in, she probably would have ended up sleeping in the hospital like he had before he lived here. Maybe he took pity on her a little because he knew what it felt like. Whatever it was, she had always been thankful to him because of it.

The look on his face changed when he realized what she was talking about. He still didn't remember any of that, but at least he knew what was going on. It did sound like something he would do and he had no reason not to believe her. He wouldn't just let someone he knew live on the street. Another reason he was glad she was living with him. It made him feel good knowing that he had helped take care of her. He didn't know why he hadn't asked her this sooner. All this time he didn't know if they were friends or if there was something going on between them or what. Nothing had changed there. He never got what was really going on between the two of them even before the accident.

"Well, I'm happy you're here" he told her sincerely, meaning every word.

"Me, too" she smiled at him. She was getting a glimpse of the old Ray again, the one she knew. The one who saved her and risked his life for her. The one she missed more than anything. Their apartment hadn't felt the same without him. With him here, she didn't feel so alone.

"I'm tired. I'm going to lay down in my room and watch some TV for a while" he said, letting her know where he would be if she needed him. He hoped he didn't give her the wrong idea. He wasn't trying to say that he didn't want her around. He didn't mind at all, but he just got home. Perhaps he did want a little time to himself after having so many people around him for the past week, but hopefully she wouldn't think it was because of her.

"Sure" she mumbled. He needed the rest. She wanted to hang out, but they did have a week. He did say he was happy she was there with him, so it couldn't be her. Even with him back home, their apartment still felt empty in a way, but it was better than being there without him.

Today had been a long day, he wanted to go in his room and relax. He wanted to lay in his bed, happy it was his bed, and not some wimpy excuse for a bed that they had at the hospital. Those things were so small and had no room to move around in. He didn't need his entire bed all to himself, but he did at least like some space to be able to get comfortable. At least be able to lay on his side without having to worry he might roll off. It was hard trying to sleep on your back every night. Then when he actually did go to sleep, a nurse would usually come in and want to take his blood pressure, or change his IV, or draw some blood; whatever reason it was. They always woke him up at around 5 or 6 every morning to do something on him. He was too out of it to ever know what it was. Not just that, how did they expect people to sleep with a bunch of crap stuck in their arms, and the monitor's beeping incessantly in your ear? Needless to say, he was very tired.

He laid gently down onto his bed. Leaning his head against one of his pillows, he grabbed the remote so he could turn on the TV.

One of the things he had missed the most when he was in the hospital was having satellite. Watching TV could get boring after a while, mainly because they didn't have that many channels. There were things to watch sometimes, but it wasn't the same. He started looking through the guide, loving that he had so many different stations to choose from. He was enjoying this way too much.

After finding something he wanted to watch, _Nightmare on Elm Street_, he sank deeper into the bed to get more comfortable. This was one of his favorites when he was growing up. Ray was a sucker for horror movies. Always had been ever since he was a kid. Most of them he was too chicken to watch them by himself. He usually had one of his friends watch it with him. It was absurd, but he sort of liked feeling afraid. It was exciting. Just like being a doctor. It gave him the same rush every day.

He closed his eyes for a second when his stomach started to ache suddenly. He brought his hand up and placed it there gently. He wasn't in any mortal danger, but he guessed the pain meds must be starting to wear off. Moving his hand to the bottom of his shirt, he lifted it and looked at the mark from his surgery. Obviously he had treated patients who had been stabbed, and knew it had to be very painful, but he hadn't realized it hurt this much. He was seeing it in an entirely different light, and felt sorry for anyone who had to go through this.

He looked around his room. Where was the medicine the doctor had prescribed him? They hadn't picked it up from the pharmacy on the way home. How could he have forgotten that? He slowly let out a breath as he did his best to suppress the pain. This happened to him every now and then. It would go away, but it would take longer without his medication. There was nothing to worry about. This wasn't anything serious. He had just been released a few hours ago and did a lot today. He was fine. It was completely normal. He didn't need to go back. He wasn't going back.

Slowly but surely, the pain in his stomach began to fade.

After he felt good enough, he watched his movie again. He wouldn't watch the whole thing, but only until he couldn't keep his eyes open. Which from the look of it, would be sooner than he thought. During commercials, he closed his eyes as they started to feel heavy. He wasn't sleeping. He was awake. He could hear everything. He would know when the movie came back on, and would watch it.

That was when he heard a knock on his bedroom door, which had caught him by surprise and made his body fidget quickly, startling him. So much for getting some rest. Why didn't anyone ever let him sleep? He was going to need seven days just to catch up.

"Come in, Neela" he called, knowing there was no other possibility of who it could be. Hearing the door opening, he shifted so he was sitting more upright.

"Hey" she said sweetly as she walked inside. He said he wanted to go in his room and rest, basically meaning he wanted to be alone, but it was his first night. She couldn't help it. She wouldn't keep him up for long, she wanted to talk to him.

He looked at her and said "Hey" with a soft smile. He wasn't mad at her. She was doing this because she cared. "What's up?" he asked, wondering what her reason was for coming in.

"I wanted to show you something."

As she took a few steps towards him, he noticed she had something in her hand but couldn't tell what it was.

That's good, he's watching a scary movie for a change. And _Nightmare on Elm Street_, he never watches that. She smiled. He's still Ray.

Sitting beside him on his bed, she held up what she had so he could see. It was her photo album.

"I was looking through it when I was in my room. I was hoping I could show you some pictures" she said as she placed it on top of her lap.

"Ok." He wasn't stupid. He knew why she came in here and why she wanted to do this. She was hoping it might help.

She opened it to search for what she wanted. She didn't want to show him a picture of just her. There were some in here that had been taken before she met him. That wouldn't do him any good.

Turning the page, she beamed "There" as she found it and turned it around to him.

It was the two of them. He didn't know for sure where it was taken, but from what he could tell, it looked like they were at work. They were so different. This hadn't been taken recently. "When was this?"

Her heart sank. It was silly, but she thought the pictures would do something. "Our last day of first year residency."

All the resident's had their picture taken at the beginning and the end of the year. Mostly to show where they had been and were going. So naturally there was also a picture of them with Abby. But they both agreed they should have one of just them. It was the first picture they had ever taken together.

That was about a year ago, and he was right, it was taken at work.

But nothing. He shrugged his shoulders a little, feeling bad that it didn't work.

She guessed as much. This could have been a dead end, but she was going to try. She was being irrational. She couldn't just show him a single photograph and it expect it all to come flooding back to him. She needed to try harder. How? She had never done this before.

She turned another page as he was still holding it in his hands. She reached and pointed to a certain one.

His face lit up for a brief moment as he smiled. They looked so happy. They were standing closer than they were in the last one. They seemed more relaxed in this. He even had his arm around her shoulder. He really liked this picture. "Where are we?"

Once again she felt disappointed. His initial reaction had thrown her off. "At a bar called _Curtain Call_. It's a karaoke bar."

Was she making this up? He believed her before, but she had to be joking. Neela in a karaoke bar? It sounded too good to be true. "Karaoke? You?" he said, still in disbelief, not meaning it to sound insulting. "You don't sing, do you?" It was more of a statement than a question. He couldn't see her going up on a stage and singing in front of a crowd of people.

"Every time. We both do together." She wasn't upset with him for thinking that. He's used to the way she was before. Back then she never would have done that sort of thing. She didn't want to the first time, but Ray kind of made her. Now she really missed it. They hadn't been in a month.

Together? He wasn't surprised that he had, but she did? Really? That was something he had to see. "Did we go a lot?" Probably not.

"All the time" she answered as she looked him in the eye. "Everyone knows who we are."

He just thought they had gone once or twice. He didn't know they went that much, and she sang every time? "So, when was this taken?" he asked, talking about the picture again.

"Three months ago. You wanted to do it because we didn't have a picture of us there." They went there so much it felt like it was something they should do. It was strange that it had taken them so long to do it.

He went back to staring at it. "It was my idea?" From what she said it sounded like it.

"Yes" she mumbled, although he was asking questions he already knew the answer to. "You said..." she started, but decided it wasn't the best thing to say. She just remembered it now, but she hadn't thought before she started talking. She didn't want to tell him.

Unfortunately for her, Ray was never the kind of guy to let things go. "What?" he stopped looking at the picture and back at her.

"Nothing." Why was she doing this? It never worked.

"Neela" he said quietly, wanting her to know he was being serious. She had to tell him now.

She sighed. He wasn't going to stop. She didn't have a choice. She was quiet, not wanting to say it and trying to put it off longer. Looking at the picture, she said sadly "You said you wouldn't forget it, and wanted a picture" She hated herself for telling him this. Now she wished she hadn't come in here "so you could look at it and remember." This was so awkward. She had to stop talking. She didn't know what made her feel worse, that he didn't remember, or what she just did.

"Oh" he said, not sure how to respond. He felt so guilty. He had been so busy thinking about himself that he had forgotten about Neela. This had to be so difficult for her.

"I'm sorry." Hopefully he wouldn't be too hard on himself, especially with how he was in the cab earlier. "That's not why I came in here."

Trying to make her feel better, he replied "I know." He knew she never meant to hurt him. He closed the album and set it next to him on the bed. "I'm trying, but I can't." No matter how much he tried, he couldn't remember.

Putting her head back up, she was able to bring herself to look at him. "It's not your fault." He did feel like he was to blame. Thanks to her.

"You're right." It wasn't like he wanted any of this, or was doing it on purpose. He had no control over it. But that was the thing. Having no control over something that was happening to you could be scary. He didn't like the idea, but what could he do?

She was relieved he agreed with her and realized that it wasn't his fault, and that she hadn't done more damage to him with her careless choice of words.

He leaned back against his pillows as he felt the fatigue creeping back. He needed to get some sleep. It was starting to give him a headache.

"Something wrong?" she asked, noticing his sudden change in behavior.

"Just a small headache. I'll be fine after some sleep." He turned off the TV since he hadn't been watching his movie. He wasn't trying to kick her out or get rid of her, but he wouldn't be able to stay awake for much longer.

She could take a hint. Picking up on his subtleties, she stood up to leave. He could borrow the album until he was finished with it. She wanted him to look at it some more. Was why she had brought it in. "I'll pick up your prescriptions from the pharmacy." No, she hadn't forgotten. He needed them soon. He must have been in pain.

Half asleep already with his eyes closed, he mumbled "Thank you."

She turned and walked towards the door. Before she left she heard him saying something else to her. She had to listen carefully.

"Turn the light off on your way out, will you?" He was too tired to turn it off himself. He wasn't going to be able to sleep with it on, and his head would hurt less with it off.

"Of course" she whispered back, before flipping the switch and closing the door.

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A/N: Hope you liked this chapter! What do you think? Good? Bad? Awful beyond belief? lol It's ok, you can tell me. Sorry if it was bad, but it wasn't easy to write, especially the end. *wipes forehead* lol

I would really love input from all of you! I have an idea for the next chapter but, I don't think it will make it long enough. I could use some help so I want to know what you guys would like to see happen. *Please tell me something other than Ray getting his memory back. I already know you guys want that hehe* Would you like humor or more drama next time? Or maybe something else? I'm hoping it might give me some ideas because I want the next chapter to bridge the gap for what I want in chapter 16. So, please review and let me know!

Oh, and if you haven't already done so, please read the story that DocRock and I wrote together! The link to the sn is in my profile!


	15. All at Once

Title: Encore!

Disclaimer: I do not own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music mentioned. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: I am terribly sorry for taking so long to update.

Once again, I want you all to know that I haven't forgotten about this fic. One of my biggest pet peeves is reading an entire fic, only to come to the very end and realize that it was never finished! I'm not going to do that to you. This story WILL get finished.

I want to say thank you to the ones who reviewed the last chapter, as well as everyone who is taking the time to read my story. It means a lot to me!

* * *

Neela walked into the apartment after coming back from the store. The last few days had gone by so fast. You would think that having to look after someone and having to do so much for them would get to be tedious or too much sometimes.

She enjoyed the time she got to spend with him taking care of him. She had missed him so much lately. She still did, but she would always tell herself that he would get his memory back eventually. Hopefully soon. Very soon. But did her best not to think about that when they were together. If she focused on that the whole time then she wouldn't be able to enjoy what they had together right now. Not to mention that also wasn't going to help him remember.

She had gone out to get them something for dinner, which was in about a couple of hours. If there was one thing Neela hated, it was leaving things until the last minute. Why put off until later what you can do right now? There was no excuse for procrastinating. It was just another word for being lazy.

She put the container of roast chicken in the refrigerator and the box of garlic bread in the freezer. Easy food that didn't require any real cooking but just heating up, although she would probably make those inedible too by forgetting all about the food she had left in the oven until it turned to a very lovely shade of black.

She was getting better though. She hadn't burnt last night's dinner, but that was also because they had ordered in. The point was that she still hadn't burnt it.

That was when she heard what sounded like soft music coming from the other room. Ray must be listening to the radio. She walked towards his room until she was standing in the doorway and looked in.

A look of tranquility came over her face as she saw him sitting against his headboard, softly playing his guitar. He looked so at peace with himself and possibly even everything. It gave him a touch of unique happiness that she had also seen during the only night he spent with her. Only not anywhere close to that degree.

She hadn't heard him play in a long time. She had forgotten how good he was. Then again, it was difficult for her to be able to tell. He usually played faster, more loud songs. In her opinion, noise rather than music. This was slower and nice. Soothing even.

She didn't say a word, not wanting to startle him with her presence, but also not wanting him to stop. Not that he would care she was listening.

He was so wrapped into his playing that he didn't even see her standing there. Or better yet, didn't even know she was home in the first place. It wasn't even a song, technically, he was sort of making it up as he went along. He liked the way the chords sounded and how the strings felt beneath his fingers. After having so much practice since he was young, he switched almost perfectly from chord to chord.

She could see him getting lost in the music, first by the look on his face, and then when he started playing a little louder and faster. She realized how much his music meant to him. It was part of who he was. It wasn't just the music, it was that he could completely lose himself in something for as long as he wanted.

He finished his impromptu song with one last chord that was as melodic as it was graceful. This had been the first time he had picked up his guitar since the accident. Actually since the whole thing with Neela. But at least he still remembered how to play. Good thing it hadn't affected that part of his memory. Then again, why would it?

He let out a deep breath that sounded more like a sigh of contentment as he opened his eyes, only to see Neela standing in the door watching him.

"Hey" he said casually, not even being startled that she was there "I didn't know you were home." When did she get back? He looked at the clock next to his bed and couldn't believe the time. He had missed his guitar more than he thought. He just played for over an hour and to him it seemed like nothing. Except that his fingers were starting to get sore, which was unusual.

"I brought us back something for dinner." she smiled, letting him know that it was taken care of.

He gave her this look like it was so typical of her but also that he felt she was kind of crazy at the same time, as he gave her a small smirk while he still held the guitar in his hands. It was only half passed three, they had eaten lunch right before she left. He wasn't even hungry yet, and she was already thinking about dinner. Sometimes she thought way too ahead in advance. He wouldn't be surprised if she scheduled her days out from start to finish like clock work. 8-8:15 take a shower. 8:35 eat breakfast. 8:40 leave for work.

He sighed. Ray was more down to earth and spontaneous than she was. In his mind, the opposite definition of her. "What are we having tonight? More Cajun?" he teased about her cooking. He didn't care. She already knew how he felt about it, what's the use in trying to flatter her? They lived together, they were well passed that stage, and he couldn't help loving to see that look on her face. It felt good being around a girl that he didn't feel like he needed to impress all the time. It was a relief in a way. He could be himself.

All his groupies would eat up everything he said. It was no secret to him or to anyone else that he had a way with women. A way of treating them, charming them, really. Who knew if it was his way of talking, or his technique, his personality, the fact that he played guitar…why does every girl flock to any guy under the age of 35 that can play guitar? Or it could ultimately be because he was honestly attractive. Not that that seems to matter or not with actual famous rock stars.

Maybe it was all of it.

She shot him a brief glare for his 'funny' remark. She realized she wasn't a gourmet chef, but he was exaggerating. Her food was still edible, that was if you still wanted to eat it. "Are you hungry or not?" she warned, but it was an empty threat. She would never let him starve, especially at a time like this, but in her culture, you never insulted a person's cooking no matter how bad it tasted.

He didn't know why he loved seeing that look on her face. It wouldn't last long. She always got over it soon enough, he made sure of it. He just liked messing with her. It could have been childish, but what else was he supposed to do? She never fell for anything. That wasn't what he was used to. It frustrated him as much as it confused and fascinated him. This seemed like the only way he could get to her.

He decided to change the subject, he didn't need to know what they were eating right this minute, he would find out later "How long you been home?" It was fun to bug her every so often, but that didn't mean he wanted to push her further. He didn't want to piss her off. He did still have to live with her. Besides, they only had a couple more days left of her vacation, and he didn't want to spend it with her upset with him.

But no matter what he said or did right now, that wasn't happening. She couldn't. He still bugged her sometimes, yes, but she wouldn't let it go passed that. Right now he could probably say or do just about anything and it would be fine. A thing which she was sure Ray knew and would use to his advantage.

"Just got here" she told him truthfully. Ok, so she had been watching him, but it had only been for a minute. "And we're having chicken" answering his earlier question.

He nodded. "Cool" not really sure what else to say. He strummed quietly on his guitar a little more, just a few chords. Surprisingly, this seemed to help ease the slight headache he had been having before she left. It didn't even hurt any more.

She came in and slowly crawled onto the bed, making her way next to him. She hoped this would be ok. It wasn't like they barely knew each other, but she didn't know how he would feel about it. Knowing Ray he might take it the wrong way. He was a guy and this was his bed, but it wasn't like that this time.

Thinking about that right now wasn't the best idea either. Not that. If he sees her blushing then he's going to want to know why, and she would not be able to come up with a lie fast enough right now. She wasn't going to tell him about their one night stand tonight. She still wasn't ready. Things were finally good between them again. They still weren't back to normal but he was finally her friend again.

He didn't even really acknowledge her until she settled in beside him. She made sure she gave him enough space so she wouldn't be in his way. He flashed her a brief smile, before looking back to his guitar.

She was immediately relieved. That was it? So much for him having a problem with it or getting the wrong idea. He didn't even make any kind of obscene joke about her wanting to lay on his bed.

She didn't want to go back to work. She wanted to stay here with him; listening to him play his guitar, talking to him, _being_ with him.

But she knew she had to as much as she didn't want to. He would be fine on his own. He was recovering well from his surgery. In a few weeks he would be back to normal. She was the one who wasn't ready. If he suddenly got his memory back, she wanted to be there when it happened. Of course she would be happy, but she would never be able to forgive herself if she was at work if and when he remembered. Or if she had been anywhere else. She was going to spend every free moment she had with him.

"I missed playing when I was in the hospital. I would dream about it sometimes" he told her somewhat shyly. It was embarrassing, she would think he was weird. Why had he just told her that? He was never separated from his guitar for very long, he played every opportunity he could.

She hadn't realized his music had meant this much to him. She didn't find it strange at all, but she also didn't know which he loved more: being a musician or a doctor. "When I was little, I used to lock myself in my room and play for hours" she said as if she was in a daydream, knowing the feeling he was experiencing "My mum and dad always wanted what was best for me, but sometimes they expected too much" he stopped strumming so he could give her his undivided attention. "They loved me but, I couldn't always meet their expectations." She wasn't trying to switch the focus off of him and onto her instead, she was trying to tell him that they expected a lot from her. In school, in life, and even in something like playing music. That she could relate to what he was going through.

He kept listening as he tried to figure out what she was really saying. She was talking about playing the viola, he knew that part. Neela was a very strong-willed, determined person, but he knew it hurt and was hard when all you want is your parents respect and approval, even though they do love you.

"Playing was the only thing that helped calm me down and made me feel better" she explained, trying to make him understand.

And now he did. Completely. That was what he did when his father left. It helped him not to think about it and to be able to lose himself so completely in something. They weren't as different as he thought. They actually had something in common, besides that they were both doctor's.

"I know what you mean" he sighed softly, wanting to show her he cared but also not really wanting to get into all that.

She turned her head back and faced forward, not sure what to say next. She understood that he didn't want to talk about his dad. She wasn't going to pressure him and she wasn't going to bring it up. He had said that she was the only one he had told, so she couldn't expect him to talk to her about something so traumatic and painful. Then why was she so sad and disappointed?

"How old were you when you started playing?" he broke the silence, which she was glad he did, otherwise it would have started to get awkward.

"When I was 6. I hated it at first. My mum and dad wanted me to play all the time. Then it was the only thing that helped me at the time" she told him, not sure exactly how to explain it.

"Helped you with what?" he asked, wanting to know more as he looked into her eyes. He didn't realize that she could be this personal. They were roommates and he knew she was serious most of the time, but she didn't really tell him about her childhood.

"Everything" she said simply. "When I needed to think or just get some time away from them" she looked him back in the eye, seeing that he was genuinely interested in what she had to say. She didn't get that feeling from many people, especially from men. She always felt that guys only pretended to be interested in what she had to say, but that was only for the obvious ulterior motive. Ray, of all people, actually listened to her when she was talking. Something she doubted he did with most girls.

He nodded. After all, he could relate. It was starting to remind him too much of his situation and wanting to change the subject, he asked "Your parents were really strict?", but also said as more of a statement. He just assumed. It seemed obvious, at least in his opinion.

"Yes. At times, but they were still good parents" she explained, letting him know that even though they were strict and expected a lot from her, they still loved her and she respected them. "We just didn't always see eye to eye."

He wanted to know more, but didn't want know how to ask. They were close, but that didn't mean there weren't things she didn't want to talk to him about. Like him. He couldn't ask her to put more into this than he was. He would never do that. He gave her a gentle smile, and said sweetly "That happens to every kid" which was true of course.

She leaned back against the pillows to give her back better support so she could get more comfortable. He was the only person she would act this way around.

She silently agreed. She knew that. "This was different" she said slowly.

His eyes never left her. What did she mean by that?

She knew him better than that, he wanted to know but wanted to respect her privacy. "When I was 17, they wanted me to marry a childhood friend. Start a family. Our parents were trying to talk us into it, I guess you could call it sort of an arranged marriage. In my culture, at that age you're supposed to be married already and have a family" she confessed. This wasn't easy for her to talk about. It was the custom, but 17 was way too young to get married, in her opinion. She had had no desire to. "But I didn't love him."

He couldn't imagine having to grow up like that. He knew there were places where it still happened, but she was right. How could some people do that? He couldn't blame her, he couldn't marry someone he didn't love either. "You did the right thing" he said, trying to make her feel better. "How did your parents take it?"

"Not well. They thought I was a disgrace to the family, but they eventually came around." She stopped for a second. She wasn't used to someone being this interested in her life.

But if she wanted him to trust her, then she had to make that effort first and talk to him. "I was tired of having everything decided for me. Someone telling me what I should do, and how I should do it, what to say and how to act." She realized that she wasn't just talking, now she was telling him things that she had never told anyone before. He's not just a roommate anymore. He's her very best friend.

"What did you do?" he asked, now really interested in the story. He could see that she had always been the strong person he knew. Not always confident in herself, but somehow strong. If Neela wants or believes in something, she doesn't let anything stop her, and nothing can change her mind. She could be pretty stubborn when she wanted to be.

"I told them the truth. I couldn't do it. I told them I wanted to do something more with my life, that I wanted to be a doctor." She had never been this open with anyone, but it was easier than she thought it would be. He made her feel more at ease with herself when she was with him, like everything was going to be ok.

He had never seen this side of her before. "Were you scared?" She was always so private and self reserved most of the time, sort of to herself. He liked that she was able to talk to him. He was touched, but what made him so special? He was her roommate, but she was telling this to him of all people? Not that he didn't want her to.

It was even better when he didn't try to make her talk to him by asking intrusive questions. Which was why she was willing to telling him anyway. "It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do" she confirmed, letting him know that it was true. "But I wouldn't have been able to do it without them. They helped me pay for med school."

He couldn't believe it. He couldn't imagine her being scared, and if she was, then she definitely didn't show it. He didn't think she was afraid of anything.

But something didn't make sense. "What about college?" She didn't say anything about that. They only helped her with med school?

"I had a scholarship" she explained, letting him know why her parents hadn't given her any money for it. "In med school they paid for most of it, but when I was going to Yale, I got a part time job so I could save up the rest." That was her thinking ahead and trying to think of every contingency she could talking again. She didn't want to start her future off being thousands of dollars in debt. She took out loans just like everyone else, but at least this way she didn't owe nearly as much afterward.

He laughed. Figures. "I should have known" he teased her, but could be taken as a hidden compliment. Her having that much courage to stand up to her parents and do what she wanted, then working hard to make it happen, made him respect and admire her. "I did it the old fashioned way" he smiled, telling her that he had been one of those people who didn't plan ahead. He applied for student loans, piling up the money he owed more every year. He wasn't a brainiac like she was who could go on a scholarship, but his mom did help him with the college fund she saved up.

"It was probably the only way you could do it" she mumbled. She didn't mean it as an insult, but was talking about his alternate career as a musician. She doubted he would have been able to find the time to go to school, play in his band, and get a job all at the same time. There wasn't any way anyone could have time for all of that.

Looking down at his guitar, he replied, "That's true I guess" knowing exactly what she meant and agreeing with her. He barely had enough time for his schoolwork as it was. He would rather go after his dreams, even if that meant he would have to spend years paying it all back. He didn't care. He was able to do both this way. He didn't want to have to choose. Both gave him it's own sense of happiness and inner satisfaction.

"It's the only thing that keeps me sane" he admitted, talking about playing his guitar. "The only weird thing is, my fingers were starting to hurt. That never happens. When was the last time I played?" He hoped he hadn't stopped playing recently for some reason. He would never give up his music.

"I don't know exactly" she told him truthfully, she couldn't really remember the last time she heard him and she couldn't tell him exactly when the last time was because she hadn't seen much of him lately. "We were working a lot, but I think the last time I heard you play was about a month ago", telling him that to answer his question, but being somewhat vague also so she wouldn't have to tell him why.

She knew what he was thinking. When she hadn't played the viola for a while it would have the same effect on her. Now she was wondering when the last time he had played herself. She was never home when he was, but if his fingers were sore then it must have been a while. She hoped what happened between them hadn't kept him from playing. Music was the only thing that helped him and if he hadn't been playing, then before the accident he was worse than she had thought. Maybe the music reminded him of her, they did spend a lot of time at the bar.

It had also taken him a little longer to tune than it normally did, which was another thing that made him think that it had been some time since he had last played. But he had been sick in the hospital for a while and hadn't been well enough to play until now. Maybe that was it.

Pulling the guitar up over his head and placing it softly onto the bed in front of him, he looked at it, admiring his guitar strap. "I don't remember this" he said as he smoothed his hand on it, reading the writing. He had never seen it before.

She leaned forward until she was only a few inches away from him and looked at what he was talking about. Turning her face to him, she mumbled "I gave that to you" with a small but warm smile on her face.

He looked at her, noticing how much closer she had gotten within only the last few seconds, somewhat affecting his concentration. He almost forgot to listen to her. "Really?" he said sweetly, matching her expression. He was more confused now than ever. He thought she said there was nothing going on between them.

How did he have this kind of power over her? No one else ever made her feel the way that he did and he wasn't even doing anything.

"You didn't have to do that" he said, still looking at her. What was happening? Did Neela have feelings for him? No, that was impossible. She hated him. He guessed living with someone and being in such close contact, you could get all sorts of mixed signals.

Laughing quietly, for no reason at all, she replied "I know" letting him know that she had done it because she wanted to. Sitting next to him made all her feelings for him come back, but she didn't want to confuse him or put him in this kind of situation right now. It was just when she was around him sometimes she couldn't help herself.

"I think that's one of the nicest things you've ever done for me" he said, before looking away and back at the strap, still with that goofy grin on his face. Of course, he wasn't really positive but it was as far as he knew. Obviously taking care of him over the last few days was one of them, too. Flipping it over, he looked at the other side, seeing that it had his name on it. She hadn't been stingy about it either. It was leather.

"It was nothing" she said shyly with a slight blush on her cheeks. She didn't think it was really that big of a deal.

She leaned back against the pillows again. They had never spent so much time talking since she moved in. They had talked frequently whenever both of them were home, but it had never been like this.

Turning his head around, he said "Not to me" letting her know that it meant something to him.

Getting up, he placed the guitar carefully back into the case and shut it still with a smile on his face the whole time. He didn't want to be rude to her and be playing the whole time she was in there and just be ignoring her.

She was happy to see him smiling again. He had been so depressed lately. She smiled at him as he made his way back onto the bed and laid next to her.

"What do you want to do tonight?" he said as he placed his hand underneath his head and closed his eyes. He never acted this way around other girls. With her it was so comfortable, like he had known her his whole life.

Thinking about it for a moment, "We could watch a movie again" she suggested.

He loved to listen to her commentaries on the movies that they watched, 'Don't go in there, what are you bloody stupid?' and so on. Not to mention she would always hate it when people were being chased by the bad guy and the prissy in high heels would always trip over absolutely nothing at all. He personally found her more entertaining than the movie most of the time.

He wasn't up for it tonight though "We've already seen all the ones I wanted to watch. That's ok" it wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with her, he just wasn't feeling that well today. His stomach was sore again. He would rather just talk right now.

He liked talking to her. It was nice. Which was saying a lot because he didn't ordinarily just sit and talk to girls. Better yet, he wasn't just friends with girls. Neela was very easy to talk to. He hated the feeling he got that it was his responsibility to keep the conversation going so the girl would stay interested. He loved girls, but there was always so much pressure. Although most people would never have thought that about Ray. He just liked that he could talk to her and that they talked to each other, not just him talking to her. It was so much easier with her and so comfortable. It just came naturally. It was only like that with her.

And before they knew it, that was what the two of them had spent the whole night doing. Talking about anything and everything they could think of, not remembering when the last time they had had this much fun together.

"So, you have to testify in a couple days, huh?" he asked, she had talked to him a little about it before but she didn't really like to spend much time on it. He didn't know why. He didn't mind talking about it. It didn't bother him.

She didn't know where that had come from, but she didn't like talking about that with him. She didn't want to make him think about that. It was something she had to do and she didn't want him to worry about it. "Yes. I have to be there at 9am. I'm not sure how long it's going to take." She didn't want to spend her last day off in the courtroom but it was the only time she could do it. She had to go to work every day after that and who knew when she would be able to get a day off again. She just wanted to do it and get it over with.

"Are you nervous?" he asked, worrying and hoping that it wouldn't be too much for her. It had been traumatic for her, too. The whole thing had happened right in front of her.

"A little, but I'll get through it" she told him, not exactly lying but not telling him the whole truth either. She didn't want him to worry about her, he had enough to deal with. Besides, she was worried enough for the both of them. About him, about the trial, about everything, but Abby and Sam were coming so it wasn't like she had to do this alone. She still hadn't told him what he had done for her. She wasn't sure when the right moment was or even how to tell him something like that.

Suddenly Ray let out a long, deep yawn as he stretched out both his arms and legs. Why did doing that somehow make you that much more tired? Out of nowhere he was starting to be overcome with fatigue.

Just when he was going to ask her if she wanted him to come, Neela looked out the window of his bedroom and noticed the sun starting to rise. Where had the time gone? She was tired but she had been ignoring it all night. She hadn't realized they had been talking so long, and they had eaten dinner a long time ago. "Do you realize that we've talked all night?" she said, almost not believing it herself.

Opening his eyes a little, he looked outside his window himself and saw that she was right. "I guess I didn't notice either" he told her, guessing she hadn't been paying attention either and that was why she had pointed it out.

Good thing she didn't have to go to work today. She could sleep in, but she didn't usually sleep during the day unless she had worked the graveyard shift. This was so unlike her. She had never stayed up all night talking to someone before, not even with one her girlfriends. Which was kind of sad when you thought about it. She had stayed up late before with her friends but never all night. It did feel good, aside from the complete and utter exhaustion.

His eyes were still open a little but she could tell he wasn't going to last much longer. She would go in a minute, she still wasn't ready to leave his room just yet.

As she was looking out the window, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head all the way to the right and noticed something on the stand next to Ray's bed. She almost couldn't believe it at first and thought it was the sleep deprivation playing some sort of weird trick on her brain. Was she seeing things?

It was the picture of her and Ray from her photo album that she had let him borrow. She felt an instant happiness when she saw that he had framed it and put it next to his bed. Where had he gotten the frame?

"Ray…" she said to get his attention and wanting to talk to him about it.

"What?" he asked as he looked at her, wanting to know what she wanted, then shifted his eyes to see what she was looking at. "Uh..." he said nervously, guess he probably should have asked first. After all, it had been hers. "I couldn't resist. I hope you don't mind." He wasn't afraid of her, but he didn't know how she would react to him essentially 'stealing' her picture.

Mind? Was he joking? Of course she didn't mind. It had just surprised her. "No. It's fine" she looked at him with a smile to let him know it was all right "Where did you get the frame?" She had to know. She knew she hadn't bought him one and he hadn't left the apartment.

"I found one in my closet" he told her truthfully. Yes, he admitted it. He was looking for one just so he could put that picture in it. "It's the only one I took." He didn't want her to think there had been others. He had taken it, but just the one, he wasn't going around stealing all of her stuff. Besides, if she had had a problem with it, then he would just give it back to her. All along, he knew deep down she wouldn't care.

She loved that picture of the two of them at the bar, but she had others of the two of them so it was ok and if he wanted it that badly then he could have it. Actually, she thought it was kind of sweet that he liked it that much. "Don't worry about it" she assured him, letting him know that it was fine with her. "Do you still have my album?" she asked, wanting it back now, figuring he was done with it.

"It on top of my dresser" he said, slightly pointing his face forward in its general direction.

After walking over and picking it up, she told him "I have to go get some sleep" making her way towards the door.

Watching her as she left he said, "Ok. Goodnight, roomie."

She came to a sudden stop after he said the last word and looked at him as tears started to come to her eyes. He hadn't called her that in so long, and ordinarily she hated when he called her that, but right now, it was the most beautiful thing she had ever heard.

He wasn't entirely sure what to do right now. He hadn't meant to upset her and he didn't mean to make her cry. What did he say? What did he do? "I didn't mean to…" he started to apologize but she stopped him.

She couldn't let him think there was anything wrong and that she didn't like it. It wasn't affecting her in the way he thought. "It's not that. I'm fine" she smiled happily still with tears in her eyes threatening dangerously to spill over "Goodnight, Ray."

He had no idea what just happened here, but as long as she was ok then that was all that mattered.

She turned off his light on her way out and shut the door. She stood on the other side of his door as a tear finally fell slowly down her cheek.

Maybe there was hope yet.

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A/N: Thank you to all of you who made your suggestions! It helped me come up with more for this chapter. As I said, I still don't have this story completely mapped out yet, and I'm still doing a little brainstorming. I used a couple of the ideas, but some will have to wait until later (sorry goldstaar). With all the drama going on in this fic lately, I also felt that it was time for something a little lighter and more fun for a change. Hope you liked it!

Please review!


	16. Heartbeat

Title: Encore

Disclaimer: I do not own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music mentioned. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Sorry for the delayed update again but had sort of hit a wall for a while with this story. Especially with this chapter and the previous one, but after this one is done it should get much better. I'm really excited to start the next part of the story, and I haven't forgotten about the karaoke. It will be back VERY soon!

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"All rise!" the man said before everyone in the room started to stand up "The honorable Judge Stevenson is now entering the court room."

The bailiff finished and went to stand on the side of the room.

She really wasn't up for this today. She was still exhausted from her night with Ray. While she had dealt with countless patients before, and not always dealt with them the way she knew she should have, she was still an excellent doctor. She never had to go to court before. Well, except for when she went to jury duty, but that didn't count and it wasn't the same thing. Not to mention it was a pretty long time ago.

The judge came and sat down as everyone else followed after that.

She was sitting with Sam and Abby on each side of her, with her in the middle, there for moral support. She hadn't felt this nervous since the day of her med school exam. But what did she have to be nervous about? She hadn't done anything wrong. She was the victim. He was the creep. All she had to do was tell the truth.

She was told this would be the only day they would actually need her in court, and since Ray still had amnesia, he wouldn't be taking the stand. She was glad. She wanted to handle this herself. Not that she didn't want Ray there. She would always want him there, but at the same time, she didn't. He had enough to worry about, he was still recovering and his memory loss could be so frustrating for him sometimes. He didn't need to worry about her, too. All he needed to think of right now was getting well again.

She took a deep, slow breath to calm herself down, which only seemed to serve little good. She was still so nervous.

"Call your first witness" the judge said authoritatively.

"The people call Dr. Neela Rasgotra, your honor" the lawyer said, then turned around to look at her.

She swallowed hard as everyone in the rooms attention suddenly fell on her. Of course, none of this actually showed on her face. To most people anyway. The only one who could tell was Abby, and if Ray had been there he would be able to tell also, but to people who didn't know her that well might think of her as being stone faced. You could say she was when she wanted to be.

She got up and started walking towards the bailiff, right next to where the witness stand was. She absolutely hated being the center of attention. She wasn't that type of person. She just wanted to get this over with. Hopefully confronting this would make the horror of that day finally stop haunting her on a regular basis. She feared the image of Ray being stabbed would never go away. She still had dreams about it. As if going through it just the one time wasn't enough. Now she had to describe it again a second time in detail, but of course this would be the last time. Knowing that much helped.

She raised her right hand.

"Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth…the whole truth…and nothing but the truth, so help you god?" the man asked

"I do" she said determinedly as she looked him straight in the eye.

She turned and took her seat in the witness stand, feeling her heart start to beat faster. She could see the man who had tried to take her life and who had injured Ray's out of the corner of her eye. She hated him and just knowing he was in the same room was enough to bring back all the anger, but she had to stay focused right now.

"Dr. Rasgotra…where were you on the 27th of January?" the lawyer asked as he approached the wooden railing in front of where she was and stood at her side so the jury and everyone in the courtroom could see.

"I was working at County" she replied calmly, in that mellow yet somewhat bored tone she sometimes used.

"On that day, was there anything different or out of the ordinary?" he asked, continuing.

"I was almost finished with my shift when a patient, a young man, came in with stomach pains" she said, starting to relive it. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. She still continued to look him back in the eye. Trying not to lose her focus on what she came there to do. You could always count on Neela to be very professional.

"And what was so different about that?" he said, trying to get the information they needed out of her but trying to do so delicately. He had been a lawyer long enough to know that it wasn't always easy for the witnesses, especially the ones who had seen something very traumatizing. It was understandable.

"That wasn't really why he was there" she said softly and a little sadly, starting to think of Ray again.

"Go on" he urged gently, as he looked into her eyes trying to tell her that, yes, she had to say it, but that it was going to be fine.

Taking in a breath she said, "I told him I was going to get him something for it, but he grabbed me from behind suddenly and held a knife to my throat. He threatened to kill me if I tried to get help." She did her best to say it quickly and get to the point, making sure she didn't' leave out any of the important details that would be vital to the case. She knew this was something she was going to have to deal with for a long time. Ray had been stabbed and had amnesia, but she had been in there with him for a while before Ray had even gotten there. Her life had been threatened, too.

"Do you know what he wanted, Dr. Rasgotra?" he said, going along with it, but still trying to get the information.

"Yes." she nodded "He was a drug addict. He wanted me to get him drugs, but didn't want me to leave the room to get them. He locked the door when I wasn't looking" there was a little tremble in her hands, but no one could see it. She dreaded saying the next part.

Abby and Sam looked at her concerned. They knew what was coming next and felt so badly for her. Neither one of them had actually heard the story before. Abby had tried to get her to talk about it, but she failed every time. Neela actually hadn't spoken of it since she had given her statement. Not to anyone.

"What happened next?" he asked her, feeling just as bad for her as her friends did.

She paused for a few seconds, hating having to finally say it out loud, and hoping she'd be able to get it out without crying.

Swallowing before taking a deep breath, she finally said, "One of my colleagues was trying to get in the exam room. He allowed me to answer it to get rid of him." She could feel the tears coming, but used everything inside her to hold them back.

"Who was it?" he asked, needing her to say the name.

"Dr. Ray Barnett" she replied "he had been looking for me to tell me about one of my other patients" she said, recalling everything even down to the littlest detail. Neela never forgot about anything it seemed.

"Did you say anything to Dr. Barnett about what was happening? Did you tell him anything?" he asked.

"No" she said as a reflex, responding to his question.

Suddenly, she noticed the bailiff out of the corner of her eye slowly bringing something into the room, not really sure what this was all about. The lawyer's attention had momentarily fixed on it as well. She looked at him curiously, wondering what was going on. Then, she saw he was carrying a small tape player.

What was this all about? The lawyer hadn't mentioned this to her.

"Your honor…members of the jury…after the witness finishes her sworn testimony, the prosecution has audio evidence that will prove, without question, that everything Dr. Rasgotra has said, is in fact the truth" he told the entire courtroom.

Neela suddenly looked at him in disbelief, betrayal, and terror as his words started to sink in, and finally understood what was happening.

There had been brand new microphones installed just a couple months ago in all the exam rooms, purely for safety reasons, for situations exactly like this one. High tech and very sensitive microphones, that would pick up everything that was going on in a room.

She had forgotten about those. They didn't have someone there listening to what was going on in every room yet. Right now they were still relatively new, but they did have them so they could refer to them later if they needed to. Something definitely needed to be done about that. They needed to hire somebody to be there manning the rooms, and County was so vast, obviously they would need several. They just hadn't gotten around to it yet.

"Excuse me?" she asked the lawyer offended and stunned, but quietly, so only he would hear, as the bailiff handed him the tape player. She knew full well what was going on, that was true, but still couldn't believe it. Just like when you know good and well what's happening, but part of you still doesn't want to accept it. She couldn't help feeling angry at him. This wasn't happening.

"What happened next, Doctor?" he continued on as if nothing had happened and like he hadn't heard her.

No. She wasn't doing this. She had already been on the edge as it was. She didn't have to take this. Neela wasn't the sort to be pushed around.

Leaning in a little, she whispered again, upset "What did you just say?" She wasn't going to continue until he told her and she wasn't going to stop asking until he gave her an answer.

"Neela, it's strong evidence for this case. We don't have a choice" he whispered back to her, not really wanting to talk about this right now. It wasn't the time or the place.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" she said, even more upset now with her tone increasing slightly.

"Objection!" was heard from the opposite side of the room by the defense attorney "Your honor, this is completely unprofessional!" he argued, getting annoyed over the two of them consorting secretly with each other. His patience was running out.

"Sustained!" the judge called out, agreeing. "We don't have time for this. You can talk this out later" he warned.

They both looked at him, his words bringing them back to reality.

"Please answer the question, Doctor" the judge said politely. Neela found it a little odd, even though he was notably upset just a moment ago, he's still so polite.

But now she couldn't go on, even though she knew she should. It was all too much. Knowing what was going to happen after she was done. Having it playing constantly in her mind was bad enough. She was NOT going to listen to the tape, she didn't even want to HEAR it again. She couldn't bear to. She spent all her time trying not to think about it. She had to do it, but somehow she wasn't able to say a word. She could feel the tears coming closer now.

"Dr. Rasgotra" the judge said, slightly more stern this time

"I can't…" was all she could say as she closed her eyes. She would regret it later and she hated herself for it, but she just couldn't.

"Your honor, can we take a brief recess for the witness?" the lawyer asked, hoping to get permission.

"Very well" the judge agreed, seeing she needed a moment to recover from her distress, as well as consort with her lawyer about some things "There will be a 10 minute recess" he continued, before banging the gavel loudly, and getting up from his chair.

She stepped off the witness stand quickly and rushed hurriedly out of the courtroom, going just outside the door, needing some air.

She started breathing rapidly, almost hyperventilating, as she paced back and forth. What had just happened it there? She knew this wasn't going to be easy, but that was just ridiculous.

It wasn't long before she heard her friends calling her from behind. They both reached out to her and gave her a comforting hug, trying to calm her. Abby's was obviously somewhat longer and with more feeling behind it, seeing as how she was closer to Neela than Sam was.

"I'm sorry, Neela" she said sadly, meaning she was sorry she had to go through that.

Neela remained silent, still momentarily unable to say anything. She didn't want to talk about this right now. She needed to regain her thoughts. Just the idea of listening to what happened was making her heart start to pound hard.

"Neela, I talked to the judge" they heard a man say from behind them as the door started to open. It was the lawyer.

Looked like that wasn't going to happen soon. "You should have told me!" she almost shouted not letting him finish, looking angry and hurt. Honestly, what was the matter with him? Didn't he think?

"I know. I was going to, but there wasn't time." He was trying to tread softly and reason with her.

"I don't want to listen to your excuses. If you think I'm going to listen to that tape, you're out of your bloody mind!" But sometimes Neela couldn't be reasoned with, and Abby and Sam were both trying to hold back their laughter. He did kind of deserve it for not telling her. They couldn't blame her for the way she was acting, they would be doing the same thing.

"You're not going to!" he said quickly, not shouting but just wanting to get through to her. He understood why she was upset and was trying to calm her down, but she needed to stop yelling at him. They were still in the court house; people were beginning to stare.

"What?" she asked, not expecting his response, her anger starting to recede.

"That's what I was trying to tell you…" he said quietly, giving her a moment to soak it all in and calm down.

"I talked to the judge and explained to him how I didn't think you listening to the tape was a very good idea. He granted you permission to leave the stand after you give your testimony, and come back after the tape is played for your cross examination." He said it all at once, figuring if he didn't she wouldn't give him the chance to, given how upset she was. He wasn't an idiot. He realized what a complete jerk he had just been.

She just looked at him in shock for a few seconds.

Finally. Some sense.

Guess he did understand. She felt the relief flood onto her instantly. It was evident that her friends were happy for her, as both Abby and Neela both looked at her at the same time with a smile.

"Thank you" she said politely, which was all she could think of to say.

She wasn't about to apologize for her behavior, so seeing as how nothing else needed to be said, the lawyer turned and went back inside, leaving the three of them there.

She was glad that was settled. If he was going to say she had to get back in there, she probably would have backed down from this. She wasn't going to do it. That was that.

"Come on sweetie, have a seat" Sam said, pointing her toward the bench that was behind where they were standing.

Neela immediately obliged, needing to sit down after everything that just happened. Her emotions had just gone through the ringer.

At least the judge seemed ok; and reasonable. She was grateful for that.

"You going to be all right?" Abby asked, she was starting to worry about her now, hoping she would still be able to do this.

"Yeah" she mumbled "I knew this wasn't going to be easy" she sighed, answering her question but finishing there, not really wanting to talk about it.

Then suddenly…"Did I miss all the fun?" they heard a man say from behind. Abby and Sam turned around to see who it was, both of them still standing in front of Neela.

"Ray!" Neela exclaimed, surprised to see him. She leapt to her feet so quickly it surprised all three of them, as the girls moved out of the way while she rushed forward to give him a hug. She didn't normally act this way.

He just smiled as he wrapped his arms around her, gladly willing to embrace her back, and enjoying his warm welcome. She had gotten over that quickly.

Abby and Sam each greeted him after they separated.

"Hey, guys" he said, with a bob of his head and a smirk.

Abby looked at him and noticed that oddly enough, Neela was the one who had changed more after all this than he had. He was the same cocky, rock star, overachieving punk he always was, and always would be. She loved him for that.

"You look awful" she said, looking him straight in the eye, teasing him but being dead serious at the same time. She was always there to make him come back to earth whenever he was starting to get too full of himself. Both her and Neela.

What she said, of course, made Ray let out a loud chuckle. "Yeah. Thanks" he said blandly, being sarcastic. He didn't take it personal. He could take a joke.

They both just looked at them, unsure of what to say next. Since Abby wasn't really one for uncomfortable silences, she picked up on their not so subtle hints of wanting to talk, as the two of them barely seemed to notice they were there anymore.

"We're going to see if there's anything good in the cafeteria" she said, making up an excuse for her and Sam to leave them alone. Neela gave her a thankful smile. Abby always knew what she wanted without her even having to ask sometimes.

After they were away from ear shot, she said sweetly "What are you doing here, Ray?" Not meaning it rudely, but just asking. She was very happy he had come.

"I came to get those outstanding parking tickets I have off my record" he teased her, figuring the answer should have been obvious. Why did she think he was there?

"Very funny" she said, trying to hold back a smile. He always thought he was so funny. Ok. Maybe on occasion.

"So what did I miss? Is it over?" He hoped he hadn't missed everything and come all the way down here for nothing.

"No. We're just taking a recess right now" she said, telling him without actually giving him the whole story.

"Oh" was all he said at first, before noticing a bench there and being grateful there was. He was feeling a little tired now and needed to sit down and rest.

She took her seat right next to him, understanding what was happening as she could see it evident on his face. She had actually asked him not to come, thinking it was better for him to stay home at a time like this. She also didn't want Ray to have to hear what went on under these kind of circumstances. This wasn't the way to tell him.

"Are you all right?" she asked as she placed a tender hand on his shoulder and scooted in closer. There was now no space left between them.

Turning his head, he looked her straight in the eye and seeing all the care she had for him there, he said quietly "Fine. Stop worrying about me, roomie."

She could feel his breath on her cheek and that was enough to make her heart skip a few beats. This wasn't the time or the place to be having these kind of thoughts, he was still in some pain, not to mention they were in the middle of a courthouse.

"You shouldn't have come. It was too soon" she said sadly. Yes, she was glad he had come but she had also asked him not to. She would tell him what had happened that day in her own way. Doing it for the first time in front of a group of strangers, and the man responsible, was not what she had in mind.

"Don't be ridiculous, I wanted to come" he admitted. Ok, so he had gone against her wishes, but he felt he had a right to be there, and an obligation to.

She couldn't argue with him at a time like this. She hadn't been able to at all lately. Not with the way he was, and after what he did for her, she had been seeing him in a totally different way. Not that she was shocked he had done it, she knew what kind of guy he was, but knowing something and actually witnessing it, were two different things entirely. She would have done the same thing for him.

She placed her arm back at her side which was now touching his, and looked down. Her initial happiness to see him starting to wear off, now she was feeling sadness and dread as she started to think about what was coming.

"So, you done in there?" He figured that was why they had taken a brief recess, not thinking they would take one in the middle of her testimony.

"Not exactly" she said, wanting to avoid the subject, but it had never been easy to lie to him.

"What does that mean?" he asked confused, not sure what she meant but at least knowing something was going on. He had suspected something was off from the moment he had first seen her talking to Abby and Sam when he was walking up. Something was bothering her.

But he always knew when she wasn't telling him the whole truth. "I haven't been crossed examined. I haven't even finished my testimony yet" knowing if she wasn't straightforward with him about it, he wasn't going to give up until she told him. They were alike in that way.

Now he understood what she meant, but there was still something that didn't really make any sense "Then what are you doing out here? Why did they take a break in the middle of your testimony?" he asked, wondering what was going on. He had never heard of anything like this happening before. It didn't make sense for them to leave before she was done.

The tears started to come back in an instant and she just stared forward expressionless.

"Ray, please." She didn't want to say it. Especially not to him. Not like this. Not here.

"Neela" he said softly, picking up on her obvious anguish and feeling sorry for her. "Tell me" he urged. While he felt bad for her, it was pretty clear she needed to talk about this so she could go back in there.

"I can't." Tears finally fell down her cheek that she couldn't hold back any longer. She wished he wouldn't make her talk about this. It was bad enough she had to do it in there.

Stretching his hand out to meet her chin, he gently guided it, using mainly his index finger to have her face look back at his.

Closing her eyes as he did this, reawakening feelings she hadn't experienced since their night together. She had never felt this way about anyone before.

"Look at me" he pleaded, as her eyes were still closed, wanting desperately for her to open them. He was the only one who knew how to talk to her.

She kept them closed for a few more seconds, partly not being able to look at him, and also being swept away by the emotions that had been overwhelmingly created in a few seconds just by being in close proximity to him.

"What is it?" he said sweetly after she finally opened her eyes. She was crying, her eyes sad and turning red, her makeup smeared, but she was still so beautiful. Actually he had always thought of her as being attractive, even a blind person would know that, but didn't think she would ever be interested in him. He wasn't her type. All of his 'innocent' flirting attempts had failed in the past.

She shook her head, pleading with him not to make her talk about it, but even though she would never show it to him, she was helpless in his hands. All the girls he had ever been with had been the same way, although not in the way she did. They would fall at his feet with just a look or a word, proving they didn't want anything more from him than to get in his bed. He had that power over Neela, too. Even the slightest touch or briefest glance made her shake and lose all her ability to think, and even now all she could feel was his skin touching hers, but that wasn't all this was about for her.

He could tell he was going to have to do this more delicately, he couldn't just force her to tell him, and he didn't want to. He would just wait until she was ready, and if she didn't want to tell him then that was ok, too.

He didn't say a word. He looked at her with so much care and tenderness as he moved his hand over to her face and used the back of it to wipe away the tears from her cheeks. Seeing her cry was more than he could take, and with his free hand, reached out to hers and squeezed.

"I thought I was going to have to listen to the tape" she said sadly, sounding so small and shattered, but him giving her the strength she needed to tell him. This was the first time they had ever talked about the accident.

His eyes never left her. He wanted to prove to her that he cared about what she had to say. Which meant a lot. Not that he didn't listen when girls were talking, just he didn't really seem to have much to talk about with them. With Neela it was so easy. She was one of the few girls he actually liked talking to.

He understood what had happened in there. "I don't have to now" she continued. He just listened, letting her get it all out. This wasn't easy for her.

"Good" he smiled, happy for her. He wouldn't want to listen to it either.

"I don't know if I can continue" she admitted. She didn't know if she could go back in there now that he was here.

"Why?" he asked curiously. Neela was never the sort of person to give up or back down from anything. She was the most courageous person he knew.

"I can't do it now that…" she stopped short. She couldn't say it, it was too horrible, and it wasn't going to come out the way she meant. He would just take it the wrong way.

But he could already figure out what was coming next "Now that…I'm here?" he whispered. He knew she wasn't saying it to be hurtful or because she honestly wanted him to leave. That wasn't why. He didn't take it personal.

"I'm sorry" was all she could say. She couldn't lie to him, but now she just felt so bad, and she was unable to look at him again after what she just said.

"Neela" he sighed, shifting in his seat to face more toward her. "You have to go back in there. Not for me, but for _you_" he emphasized, trying to get the point across. It was necessary for her to go back in there in more ways than one, aside from the obvious reason.

"But I don't think you should-" she started to say

"Listen" he interrupted, he didn't have very much time. He wasn't trying to be rude, but he had to get through to her. And fast. "Of the two of us, you're the one who is having a problem dealing with this." Couldn't be more direct than that.

Her eyes opened wide in shock. "That is not true" she said quickly, finally looking at him again. She wasn't mad, but that was a pretty stupid thing for him to say.

"When did I ever say I didn't want to talk about this?" he asked, not needing to spell it out for her, since they obviously both knew what they were talking about. It had to come up eventually.

Maybe he had a little bit of a point, but she had her reasons. She really was going to talk to him about it. Eventually. She opened her mouth, not really sure what to say to him "I…just" she started. So maybe she had been putting it off, but "was waiting for the right time. You just got out of the hospital." And that was the truth. How could she tell him during all that? It had only been a couple weeks.

Maybe he was being a bit unfair. She did have a point. "That's not all this is about" he told her, getting even more direct than before. It was true, and by saying so little, he was saying everything.

"I know!" she exclaimed, the hurt starting to overpower her. She wished he hadn't made her do this. She didn't want to yell at him, hating herself immediately after she had done it. Giving him a look as if she was begging his forgiveness, "I was going to. You know that" she sniffled.

He needed a different approach. This wasn't going to work this way. She couldn't be like this when she went in there.

"I do." He believed her. He really did. She would have. She had gone through the same thing he had, he just wished she would tell him what really happened. "But don't you think I want to know?" he said quietly, but sweetly, imploring her.

It's true when the mind goes through something that traumatizing, it can't be opened and closed like a box whenever you like. It deals with it when it's ready. If he wanted to know, however, that could be something different. It was a good thing.

Seeing how she had nothing to say to argue with that, he continued, trying to reason with her "You're not going to be able to move forward until you do."

He was right. She knew he was right. She had to do this to get peace.

Not saying a word still, she leaned forward until her head rested gently on his shoulder. He placed his head against hers ever so lightly, returning the favor and wrapping his arm around her. He had finally got through to her. He was the only one who could. He was the first person she had talked to about this and she knew she wouldn't have done it with anyone else but him.

And for the first time in weeks, she felt safe. He made her feel safe again.

But he had been wrong about one thing "I'm not doing this just for me" feeling she needed to say it.

"I know" he smiled, and sighed deeply, squeezing her arm.

She had to do this for _both_ of them. After what he had done for her, she owed him this. She couldn't let him down.

The door to the courtroom opened again, and the bailiff appeared, looking directly at Neela, saying "Dr. Rasgotra, it's time."

They both looked. They had sort of lost track of time. It went by so quickly.

He said to her "Come on" and they both stood up and headed for the door as he held it open for her, ever the gentleman.

She flashed him a smile and saw the girls heading back towards them, walking faster as they noticed how little time they had, going in immediately following Neela.

Three of them sat down, with Ray at the end of the row while she made her way to the witness stand again, and watched her being sworn in.

"Dr. Neela Rasgotra, will you please continue where you left off?" he asked, hoping the time off gave her what she needed in order to be able to finish this.

Ray was straight ahead in the front, with no one in their way, watching her intently.

She wanted to finally get this over with. The sooner the better. "Dr. Barnett left for a moment, then came back suddenly. We all work very closely, so he could tell from my behavior something was off." Although now she was admittedly more talkative and descriptive than she was before.

Looked as though his talk with her had helped. She seemed her old self again. He was glad.

"I thought you said the door was locked?" he asked curiously. Even though he knew everything that went on in the room, it was his job to ask her; for the record.

"There was another door that hadn't been locked which both of us had overlooked, except for Dr. Barnett. He came in through there, and was able to fight the knife away from the patient and he became momentarily unconscious" she explained everything, starting to dread the next part. She still hated having to say it, especially with Ray in the room.

"So that's when you escaped?" he asked, his questioning starting to near it's finish.

"No" was all she said at first, shaking her head "I was very out of sorts and Dr. Barnett was helping to ease my nerves." She was trying to put it more delicately, not wanting to get into specifics. What had happened between them was their business, and she really wasn't going to have Ray find out about it THAT way.

"Nothing wrong with that, Dr. Rasgotra" he said, not needing to but doing so to encourage her. He hadn't asked her to make her feel badly, but he knew the defense would try to argue with it, so he just decided to be more upfront about it.

She was glad he said it. Anything would help right now, however small.

"I know this is hard for you" he started, trying to be more thoughtful of her after the whole incident earlier "but, please tell us what happened when the patient came to."

This was it. She just needed to say it. Finally. Once and for all.

She looked at Ray, who had been watching her this entire time. He gave her this look like he knew she could do it, and that it was going to be ok. That was all she needed. She couldn't do this on her own. He had given her the courage she needed to do this. She wasn't afraid anymore.

"The man started moving about the room, unknowingly to me, because my back was turned. Dr. Barnett could see, and intentionally kept this information from me, not wanting to frighten me, or let the patient know" she described in the best way she could think of how, hoping how she felt that day was coming across to everyone in the room. She paused a few moments before saying what was next.

Ray's eyes suddenly opened wider, as a brief flash came to his mind. He had protected Neela from the man who was trying to kill them. He didn't just figure it out by putting two and two together just now, but he _knew_. He could see it as clearly as he could see Neela. That was why she didn't want to talk about it or want him to come.

But not long after it started, it was over. He could remember just bits and pieces about the accident, but that was all. It was fuzzy, but at least it was there now, and he could hardly contain his happiness. He wanted to stand up and shout it at her, but knew he couldn't. Unfortunately it would have to wait for later, but at least she was going to be excused soon.

She was finally ready. She could do this. "The patient started coming towards us with the knife again, Dr. Barnett pushed me out harms way. I looked up and saw him stabbing him in the stomach and ran away."

She looked back over at Ray with a glisten starting to come in her eyes and a bittersweet smile forming in the corners of her lips as she said "He saved my life." She wanted everyone in the room to know what he had done for her that day, as a form of pride started to appear on her face.

"Will you please tell us…who it was that held you hostage and stabbed Dr. Barnett? Is that man in the courtroom today?" he asked, starting to walk to the side, giving her a more clear view of the defendant, allowing everyone in the room to be able to see who she was about to identify.

"He is" and looking straight over at the man sitting behind the table on her right, said "Mr. Murphy" and with deadly determination, looked him square in the eye as she pointed at him to give further proof. She hated him in every possible way, but she could at least look at him now. He wasn't going to stop her from what she had to do.

"Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, let it be known that the witness has just pointed to the defendant…Mr. Thomas Murphy" he said, as he glanced back him for a second.

It was in this moment, that she looked over at Ray again, who was looking at her with a smile. Not in his usual, ordinary way, but in a way she hadn't seen him do since before the accident. What was going on? Maybe she was looking too much into it, but to her, he was more himself than he had been earlier. He seemed more real to her, in the way only she knew him. She didn't know how she knew, but she just knew, something had happened to him when she had been talking just now.

She searched his eyes deeply, looking for the answer. It could have been too much to hope for right now, and she could be wrong, but…did he remember, even if it was just a little, of what she just said?

He held her gaze and didn't look away. No one looked at her this way except him. That look that made always made her heart melt.

She had been right. It was him. He had come back to her.

She was hoping this wouldn't be what he remembered first of all things. He didn't remember everything, he could have, she wasn't sure, but she was just grateful he had remembered something. Didn't matter what it was, and however little, just something. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

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A/N: I can't believe it's been over a year! I am so, SO sorry for taking so long you guys but at least you got a little more spoiled this time. This one was the longest so far, I think.

I have to thank jessspider for her fantastic review! Thank you! I was truly touched, I'm so glad you like my story!

I hope all of you liked this chapter, please let me know! I LOVE the reviews!


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